how can you sub-consciously influence a girl to start working out/lose weight?

[race_engine]

this is the only issue i have with my current gf, which is probably a good thing. everything else is there and our relationship is pretty awesome, she's a great girl. but i'm not gonna lie, she has a few extra pounds now. not a lot, like i wouldn't consider her fat, just a bit overweight. she's very pretty and i can tell that if she just would lose like 10 pounds, maybe 15, she'd be a bombshell. this annoys me GREATLY. i am SUPER into working out, it's my main passion (besides cars) and she knows that, i'm always in the gym, striving to get bigger and stronger so that hopefully i can compete in a couple bodybuilding competitions later this year. naturally, with that being said, i have no fat really at all and never have had any. she does though, and i mean it's not that bad, she's got a pretty good shape and her body distributes it fairly evenly so she looks proportioned and doesn't really look heavy, but it's clear she is out of shape. i am wondering what in the HELL is the best thing to say or do to maybe just HINT that she should go to the gym and lose some of that weight for summer and stuff, even if it was just a sub-conscious nudge.

 

i've thought about it for a while and i can't come up with any reasonable way to go about it, so of course i just didn't say anything at all. the last thing i wanna do is hurt her feelings and make her think she isn't good enough for me. she's an awesome girl and i like her a lot and that's why i want to make sure that i am even more attracted to her than i already am and i know i can be if she'll get more fit. i'm thinking guys who read this post will know EXACTLY how i feel lol, while girls that read this may think i sound like a superficial prick who's only concerned with looks. i'm not. but come on, there has to be some ways to influence her (maybe not even directly but sub-consciously) to start working out. honestly she has a bit too much flab in the mid-section and legs and it's starting to bug the **** out of me. i'm worried that she'll gain more weight and then i'll definitely lose attraction for her, when all she has to do is hit a treadmill for a few minutes a day and i'm sure she'll be fine.

 

any advice on what the hell to do?!

[befreckled]

I think with working out, the onus has to be on the person themselves. You can't outtrain a bad diet for example. You made no mention of this so I'm not sure what her eating habits are.

 

In my experience, I found that once I started working out, being more active, then I naturally wanted to work out more. So one of the things that you could do is do athletic/active things when you hang out.

 

It doesn't have to be gym.

 

For example, you could go on a hike to somewhere scenic, pack a little picnic and that's the reward for reading the top.

 

Good luck!

[tincanman99]

You cant make anyone work out and take care of themselves. This is a personal choice. You say you love working out and taking care of yourself well if that doesnt rub off on her nothing will.

 

Its like trying to get people to stop smoking. Even though they know its bad they keep doing it. Its just how it is.

[jadedone]

Inception.

[TouchedByViolet]

Have you tried dangling a carrot on a stick, or maybe even some carrot cake? yummy I kid....

 

Maybe suggest joining a Co-ed sport team together (some gyms offer classes too). You said she is out of shape. Maybe a little exercise will get her to tone her body into the wonderful and sexy shape you remember, if not better... yummy

 

If she has a bad diet try improving that. Just tell her you are worried about her bad diet and want her to be healthy. Plus healthy food is yummy

[race_engine]

yeah well she doesn't even eat unhealthy (rarely any fast food, usually she just cooks) it's just that she eats a LOT for a girl, and really doesn't stay active enough to keep up with her caloric intake so those extra calories obviously have to go somewhere. i can't tell her to eat less lol and really that isn't the problem anyway. i've seen girls eat a TON of food, my aunt actually eats just as much as i do it seems, but she weighs like 110 pounds, the reason she keeps the weight off is because she runs EVERY day. like if i could get my girl into a habit like that, i'd be so happy. but you all are right...i can't make anyone choose to work out or stay fit, it is a choice they must make themselves.

 

i really hope she takes a hint when she sees how serious i am about my body and appearance, hopefully it rubs off, if it doesn't then i fear my attraction is going to die. can't help it. i only like fit girls. only reason i'm still with this one is because she's too sweet to resist lol. but eventually it's gonna come time to hit the beach this summer, anddddd umm i don't wanna be the only one turning heads lol, i want her to WANT to be that bombshell i know she can be, i want people looking at my girl obviously, every guy wants that...

[SmileFace]

Inception.

I you!!

 

:lmao:

[Mme. Chaucer]

Dump the big fatty and get a girlfriend who weighs exactly what you require in a mate.

 

Honestly, 10 pounds?

[starryeyed12]

I think it's good that you are being honest with yourself, yet taking the time to figure out the best way to go about a very sensitive issue.

 

On the surface it may seem shallow, but attraction and sex appeal are main ingredients to a successful partnership. You don't want to be one of those guys down the road feeling trapped in a marriage to someone who doesn't turn you on. It usually spells disaster. I know a few married friends who are learning the hard way.

 

That said, what can you do? Hmm. You could tell her that you want to get in shape and active together. Tell her it will help you grow closer as a couple. Plan out exercising with her. Start by taking walks together on a regular basis if she is really out of shape. Walk in your neighborhood or a park or a trail. Then step it up to asking her to bike or jog with you or even come to the gym and lift weights with you. Show her your routine and find her the right weights. Be her own personal trainer. If she's into you she will probably agree to doing these things. Once she agrees, it's up to you to have the right attitude and keep her going without being pushy. Find out if any sports or activities interest her and do them.

 

I tend to agree that diet and exercise are big lifestyle choices that can really only be decided on your own. So, if all attempts fail and she has no interest, you may have to just accept that this is who she is right now and maybe for a long time (unless SHE decides for a change). In that case you may want to consider either accepting her or letting her go.

 

I do agree that attraction and lifestyle are a big deal in relationships. Just continue to be tactful about it.

[Lilmisus]

I agree with everyone else. But maybe change your view on this..instead of thinking of trying to make her more sexy and attractive to you, consider this as a way to make her more healthy. Since after all, if anyone loses weight, it should be for themselves and not for their significant other or for anyone else.

 

But somethings you can try to make her healthy:

- Go to a new restaurant together, or try cooking for her. They have vegetarian/vegan restaurants around (though I don't know where you live), and you can try to encourage her to try it out. If it's a hit with both of you, go to it more often, just remember that these types of restaurants are typically more expensive since it's mainly organic. Healthy eating is a great first step to a healthy lifestyle.

- Get physically involved in some sport together. You can try swimming, kayaking, basketball, tennis, sex (seriously, great workout), going on jogs/walks together, hiking, etc. Once again, it depends on where you live and what resources you have. You don't want to just throw a gym pamphlet at her and say "take a hint" and walk out the room or anything. Plus, doing something together is a great way to connect with one another on another level.

- Side glance at other girls in person or in magazines/shows. Don't drool over them, just look over at them and let your girlfriend know that you find them attractive. Nothing more than a glance though, because that would just be wrong. It's a great way to catch her attention, and although it could start fights (don't push it to that point), it'll be a subtle hint that says "hey! I love a rockin' body. You need to work at yours" without actually saying it. Don't be a dog though.

- Express your love for working out. Tell her how great it makes you feel and how you love the end result of great workout sessions. I don't know how or where you workout, but you can maybe ask her if she'd like to join you one time to see more of that huge part of your life. Tell her that you're not trying to get her to workout with you (though you are) you just want to open up that door to her and pull her closer to your life. At the same time, find something that she loves, and ask if you can join her sometime with that. It's a great way of meeting in the middle and while not screaming "workout!"

 

But like others said, she needs to want it. If she doesn't, then there will be no point of even trying. It'll be the making her want it part that will really be hard. And if all else fails, follow the one person's advice and use Inception.

[TouchedByViolet]

So a breakup is in the immediate future? I would tell her directly your feelings. Affirm your positive feelings for her and tell her that if she doesn't get in shape your relationship together will end. It is not fair for her to just go on hints. If she loves you and knows she will lose you she may start exercising.

 

If you just out of the blue dump her at some random date this summer it is a poor reflection on your communication skills IMO.