lovelydemon Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 I'll be turning 30 in august and though being single doesn't bother me so much ( I even like it on most nights) what bothers me most is people's reaction when I tell them I'm single. They tell me that it's ok and I'll sure meet some great guy soon (well, thanks, it's not like I suffer really ) My parents call me and ask me if I decided to get back with my ex and after I tell them no, they get quiet and ask me what will happen to me now in this world, like my life is doomed somehow. Or they will call and ask me when EXACTLY am I planning to have children (to what i tell them that I just got divorced a little over a year ago so probably not any time soon ) and how they saw a neighbor my age with a baby and how they want a grandchild like RIGHT NOW! Seriously... Just tonight a guy that I know was telling me how he would like to see me 8 years from now or so and see what I'd say then. Why are so many people are trying to convince me to go back to a relationship I was unhappy in? Why is it so impossible for people to imagine that I LIKE being single? Every time i say I'm happy it gets dismissed!? It's like I never even said it! It's like there are only 2 camps: happily coupled up or single and miserable. Why the need to conform everyone to one of those?
Duckduckgoose Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 When my mom lays all the guilt trips down about how I should be having lots of kids because she wants grandchildren and the kids will care for me in old age and I will never be lonely etc I tell her I have two kids they just have feathers. And they really act like kids too dammit. If you are happy single then tell your mom to bug off. It does bother me that my mom is so hellbent on getting me to pop out some kids when I have made clear I am not really interested, and since I'm also going through a divorce right now the only way I would get pregnant is if I cheated on my stbxH cause I know he sure in the hell won't be knocking on my door for sex... his porn is too important to him.. plus he knows if he comes around he might well get shot. If your mom wants a grandbaby because she has the urge to care for something she should get a dog. Those seem to work well.
quankanne Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 ah ... we had a similar experience. Not from immediate family, but extended family, wanting to know why we weren't cranking out babies since we'd been married a good few years. And I think it bugged my mom more than it did me, mostly because it was her bossy big sister making the comments. told her to look my tía in the eye and say, "Well, the kids say it's really up to GOD when they get pregnant, so they're not going to worry about it," because how can someone who professes to believe in God argue with his plan?
Author lovelydemon Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 Thank you for the reply guys. Well, my parents already have 2 cats so that is out of the question but I think that if I start saying it's up to God it might actually work. I'm an atheist but for my peace of mind I'm ready to convert lol. What bothers me most though is how freely people make assumptions and feel the need to share them with me, making me feel like I should be explaining myself: if I'm having a bad day or simply stressed between work, school, mortgage, - they say I need to get laid or give those "right guy is around the corner " speeches. Soo annoying
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