Author shawn923 Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 (edited) You have to keep in mind that right now your only goal should be to heal. By the looks of it you're FAR from even being close to healing. You don't have to get up and move to a different spot anytime you see her...just don't go out of the way to be around her. If you see each other, knod, smile and that's it. No need to be rude and totally look away when you see her...NC means NO CONTACT...don't talk to her, text her or anything like that man. Again, it's all about you right now. Don't worry about what's going on in her life..just focus on you, better yourself right now. She'll notice, and it'll be much more attractive to her seeing that you're fine without her than you showing your a complete wreck without her. I agree. Thats what i do pretty much on a daily basis! and im fine with that. And honestly i DO feel much better than i did over a week ago. Like i said i can see her and not feel hurt on the inside. The only thing is i just needed help with just how MUCH contact i should and shouldnt give. For example, i do the EXACT same type of behavior on fb. I run my account as if shes not even a friend. I dont include her in any of my statuses nor do i talk about the break up or anything like that or anything about relationships. I was going to, but all you guys and my real friends said dont do it... BUT i equate erasing her off fb, to walking around her at school. I mean if i erase her, she'll then think like "oh he's trying to be mad at me, he mustve saw these guys flirting with me and must be bitter over the breakup"... Thats why i think if i just mind my own business, dont erase her, and dont go out my way to avoid her, i consider that NC. Im getting on with my normal life, i've just dropped her out of it. And u just said NC means no contact, dont talk to her, text, or call her, anything like that, and i certainly dont go up to her face to talk. I totally mind my own business. If i see her ill nod... thats it. But we just so HAPPEN to be in the same room for at least a hour, about 2-3 times a week. I think thats the only mix up, i wasnt asking the same advice over n over i was just asking WHY should i be changing the method i already have? im healing, minding my business, and she sees me physically happy. The only thing that admittedly will be tough is looking into her bullshyt on fb. I would never know whether its real or something fake to piss me off... So i'll just have to learn to eliminate her from my fb world, without erasing her off my friends list... lol i know that sounds weird but i can handle it. AND if its hurting me too much, for example if one day i see "in a relationship with....." THEN i'd have no choice but to erase her, cuz thats like throwing it in my face. SO what do u think? I mean if im happy now, do i STILL switch it up? Edited March 11, 2011 by shawn923
Layzie89 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 The only thing is i just needed help with just how MUCH contact i should and shouldnt give. Hopeless. SO what do u think? I mean if im happy now, do i STILL switch it up? I guess not.
Phateless Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 @valdeetz1 Yes i know if i put anything up she WILL read it... i already know that. Thats why i was thinkin bout doin it but said naw. And its almost impossible for me to go full NC, cuz that i guess means ignoring her completely, and us goin to the same school its just not possible. i see her 2-3 times a week randomly. but i dont say anything... nor do we text, or call. were just friends on fb because i never deleted her, cuz i told her there was no hard feelings between us. So i dont have a REASON to just erase her off fb. Oh and also i agree that it counts cuz i know she looks at my page everyday... its human nature. so my next question is this. Should i just avoid all relationship type statuses from here on out? because that would be like im "subconsciously" speaking to her. and if so, if i have an urge to put up a status like that, what should i put instead?? just anything random that makes me seem happy with life? cuz those of what i been putting lately. just stuff like "had a great nights sleep, cant wait to see what today has in store for me!" and another question... what should i look into as far as what shes doing? I would prefer a female answer this question lol. Like why did she comment on my pic on the blue yesterday? was it just to see if/how i would react? was it just so i would see her page and the dudes flirting with her? And also, what about the statuses she put up? i never comment on anything on her page ever... as if i never check it. but i do like twice a day lol i know its bad but oh well... So um what signs, if any, should i be on the look out from her? P.S. all of your help has been quick and fantastic! Stop obsessing. Don't look at her page, don't worry about it. You are constantly trying to engineer everything you do based on how you think she will react. You are completely missing the point of no contact. The point of no contact is to get her out of your head so that you can move on with you life. Life your life, don't worry about her, DON'T LOOK AT HER PAGE, just go on with you life. How old are you? I'm getting the impression that you're in high school.
eleanorhurting Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 A guy I once rejected started posting love poems and quotes on FB and it just made me think he was pathetic. FB status drama is embarrassing. If we have mutual friends who know we broke up and you keep posting status updates like the one you described, I would be mortified at the pointless drama you are creating and I would probably not speak to you ever again until you stop with the updates. Because its not just her who will read the updates, other people will and in the back of their heads they will wonder oh is that about her? I wonder what she did to him? She is probably trying to move on and avoid drama and you will just be stirring it up.
Beeotch Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 A guy I once rejected started posting love poems and quotes on FB and it just made me think he was pathetic. FB status drama is embarrassing. If we have mutual friends who know we broke up and you keep posting status updates like the one you described, I would be mortified at the pointless drama you are creating and I would probably not speak to you ever again until you stop with the updates. Because its not just her who will read the updates, other people will and in the back of their heads they will wonder oh is that about her? I wonder what she did to him? She is probably trying to move on and avoid drama and you will just be stirring it up. Ditto! All I know is I will keep my next relationship OFF Facebook. It can lead to so much more mess than necessary.
Recommended Posts