shawn923 Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Need quick advice. Ok i need to know whether or not i should put this facebook status up. Im currently doing NC with my ex girlfriend... but were still friends on fb. Were in college. Dont tell me oh its childish to put up statuses or something like that... i just need advice on whether or not to do it. I was gonna put something like "something doesnt feel right to me. but if you dont feel it, then i dont. I guess time will tell what my next chapter will be..." I mean im thinking if it will hurt if i put that up... keep in mind i AM trying to get her back... and she commented on one of my pictures yesterday but it was harmless. and i wonder if she did that just to get my attn, cuz on her page it was guys flirting with her... oh and please spare me your fb is childish speeches.
lcfc1993 Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 I was thinking about doing something like this myself. But I didn't because it just shows her your thinking about her and you want her, which means you'll be like a dog to her, that just can't move on.
Datura Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Think about what your intentions are, and if you hope to gain anything from it, such as a response.
Author shawn923 Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 right right... on 2nd thought im not gonna put it up. i guess this is part of the moving on process. but she did comment on my picture and i never replied to that. and im not sure why she did that... im thinkin just to get my attn. I mean if she REALLY wanted to talk to me she could txt me or send me a straight message... so ill lay low.
Layzie89 Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 It would certainly help if you gave us a bit of background information such as how the breakup actually happened, how long you've been NC, and such. I wouldn't post it. It's showing her that you're still thinking about the breakup at such a deep level. You need to show her that you're strong with or without her. If you're trying to get her back...you should be posting something more along the lines of "Moving forward, never looking back. Falling more and more in love with myself everyday!" I bet you'll get a better response if you posted that then what you were thinking about posting lol Remember theres a quote that says something like "If you love someone, you have to be willing to let them go. If they come back, than it's meant to be."
Author shawn923 Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 Yea layzie those are some good quotes lol. But background info is kinda long but here goes... im 22, she 20, we go to the same college. we were together like 3 months but we were both madly in love and at times felt perfect. but one day she tripped over me being insecure and it was all over from there. no second chances, no nothing. And after that, i made EVERY mistake possible already. begged her back, swore to change... i bought her a surprise gold necklace on valentines day,and she rejected it... saying she would never give me a 2nd chance... and i cried in front of her, begging her back. all attempts failed. BUT. i was persistent in trying to get her back because she would always still show signs that she wanted me. if i was talking to another girl she would but in and be visibly mad. If someone writes on my wall on fb she would question if i was dating her... and this is why i still had hope. But eventually i just said fawk it so now im NC. since maybe 10 days. i still see her randomly at school and we might wave hi, and keep it moving. but thats the most contact in the past 10 days. until last nite, when she commented harmlessly on a random pic. now im curious again hmmmmmmmmmmmm lol
valdeetz1 Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 I'll tell you this. If you don't FB block us, ANYTHING you post as a status is picked a part with a fine tooth comb. If she's 20, she's probably more into the drama and stuff- the younger we are, the more everything is all about us. That is the norm- sad to say. I don't look at my ex's FB anymore because his new girl screws with me by updating it for him. Proof being when I deactivated my account for a few weeks the 3x a day FB updates quit as did all the lovey lovey posts between 'him' and her. I was with my ex for a long time, and I know his grammar and crap, and trust me, my ex isnt putting a happy face on nothing. Homewrecker can try all she wants- just makes her look pitiful in the end. lol. But yeah- the majority of girls- if she's still got you as a FB friend, chances are she's looking from time to time, and any status you put that even hints at depression or the like is probably stroking her ego. But you do what you want to do, and damn them- because like I said- chances are its going to be all about her, even if it isnt.
PegNosePete Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Dont tell me oh its childish to put up statuses or something like that... i just need advice on whether or not to do it. It's childish. That should answer to the second part for you. If you want to be childish then do it. If not, then don't.
betterdeal Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 It will achieve nothing, except some of your mates will think "Oh, for ****'s sake, get over it" I prefer to put things that people might find interesting / funny / enjoyable. If it hurts, don't do it. If it feels good, do it.
Phateless Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Need quick advice. Ok i need to know whether or not i should put this facebook status up. Im currently doing NC with my ex girlfriend... but were still friends on fb. Were in college. Dont tell me oh its childish to put up statuses or something like that... i just need advice on whether or not to do it. I was gonna put something like "something doesnt feel right to me. but if you dont feel it, then i dont. I guess time will tell what my next chapter will be..." I mean im thinking if it will hurt if i put that up... keep in mind i AM trying to get her back... and she commented on one of my pictures yesterday but it was harmless. and i wonder if she did that just to get my attn, cuz on her page it was guys flirting with her... oh and please spare me your fb is childish speeches. Putting up that status is breaking no contact. Don't give me the speech about how it doesn't count. It counts.
Author shawn923 Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 @valdeetz1 Yes i know if i put anything up she WILL read it... i already know that. Thats why i was thinkin bout doin it but said naw. And its almost impossible for me to go full NC, cuz that i guess means ignoring her completely, and us goin to the same school its just not possible. i see her 2-3 times a week randomly. but i dont say anything... nor do we text, or call. were just friends on fb because i never deleted her, cuz i told her there was no hard feelings between us. So i dont have a REASON to just erase her off fb. Oh and also i agree that it counts cuz i know she looks at my page everyday... its human nature. so my next question is this. Should i just avoid all relationship type statuses from here on out? because that would be like im "subconsciously" speaking to her. and if so, if i have an urge to put up a status like that, what should i put instead?? just anything random that makes me seem happy with life? cuz those of what i been putting lately. just stuff like "had a great nights sleep, cant wait to see what today has in store for me!" and another question... what should i look into as far as what shes doing? I would prefer a female answer this question lol. Like why did she comment on my pic on the blue yesterday? was it just to see if/how i would react? was it just so i would see her page and the dudes flirting with her? And also, what about the statuses she put up? i never comment on anything on her page ever... as if i never check it. but i do like twice a day lol i know its bad but oh well... So um what signs, if any, should i be on the look out from her? P.S. all of your help has been quick and fantastic!
PegNosePete Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Here is what you should do: Press log out. Walk away from the computer. Facebook is not real life. Go to the gym or for a coffee or play tennis or basketball or skiing or horse riding. Basically, get a life!
Author shawn923 Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 @Pegnosepete your the type of people i politely asked NOT to comment on this thread. Just cuz u dont gave a fb doesnt mean its not important... Fb is apart of college life like it or not, and a lot of stuff that goes on fb means a lot. Obviously u dont understand. This thread is for the young people that understand that fb IS apart of out lives in 2011. and btw i play ball for my school so that takes up all my time. Im not sulking in front of a stupid computer screen, im not even heartbroken anymore... i hope.
810 Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Need quick advice. Ok i need to know whether or not i should put this facebook status up. Im currently doing NC with my ex girlfriend... but were still friends on fb. Were in college. Dont tell me oh its childish to put up statuses or something like that... i just need advice on whether or not to do it. I was gonna put something like "something doesnt feel right to me. but if you dont feel it, then i dont. I guess time will tell what my next chapter will be..." I mean im thinking if it will hurt if i put that up... keep in mind i AM trying to get her back... and she commented on one of my pictures yesterday but it was harmless. and i wonder if she did that just to get my attn, cuz on her page it was guys flirting with her... oh and please spare me your fb is childish speeches. i don't understand those 2 sentences, are you doing NC to get your ex back? that 'status' can be related to a lot of things, not just your relationship with her. if your ex is like me, then she wouldn't care much to dissect if what you're feeling right is the same as hers. (btw, to me, the "if you don't feel it, then i don't" sentence is lame.) being on fb is not childish but using fb to play mind game is. if your intention is to get her back then you guys need to talk it out, face to face. but if you stick to NC, then don't post the status. only do so if you have something fun/informative in your life you like to share.
flitzanu Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 delete her and block her. seriously. i did your dance 6 months ago. you need to stop worrying about what she will say about what you post or if she reads it. just block her. trust me.
Layzie89 Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 What was your picture of, and what did she comment? We can't answer your question as to 'What did the comment mean?' if we don't know what it said. As far as we know, she commented on the picture simply because she had something to say about it. I'm also going to back everyone here up and say...get off facebook. FACEBOOK IS POISON POST BREAK UP. Delete and block her, or deactivate your facebook all together. That will SURELY get her attention more so than you posted up all these sad sappy love quotes. You have to stop doing that man...it looks pathetic not only to her but to your friends as well. Don't overly post about how GOOD life is for you either or it becomes obvious you're faking it. Just cut out the love quotes n ****, delete/block her and I think you'll be much better off.
Author shawn923 Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 I thought about erasing her but im still very curious about what she does lol... And if i do, she'll notice and it'll be like damn why is he erasing me all of a sudden? so its like im ignoring her or mad at her now. and i dont see how this would bring her back... Thats my main goal. and i thought the purpose of NC was to get her to realize what she missed, not just cut her out my life. cuz honestly if i wanted to cut her out my life i can avoid her altogether and erase her off fb. but like i said i just live my life, and just NOT include her in it... im just wondering if this at all would help bring her back. and ive already talked to her about it a million times and she kept swearing up n down that she "never gives 2nd chances". So why talk it out? she already had the chance to get back with me. Now im just "acting" like i just eliminated out her out my life, but im not ignoring her nor have hard feelings... matter fact how about someone just help me get her back lol... Cuz thats my only goal. I was never abusive or cheating so i still have hope...
Beeotch Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Ridic... Do as you please since you only want "advice" catered towards foolishness.
Layzie89 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Seriously man...its like youre not understanding any advice were trying to give you. She already said shes not going to take you back. Youve talked to her a million times youve said amd IT ISNT WORKING so why do you want to keep doing what youve been doing? I feel like pointless responding to this thread because anything we say you just reply asking the same questions you did 4-5 times already.
Author shawn923 Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 No i hear all ur advice loud n clear... im just now asking WHY are u giving me this advice?? As in, has this happened to u, u erased an ex off facebook, and not only did u heal but she came back?? I mean i just wanna know why exactly would this work/help? i mean im all for it... but i just wanna know what the results may be. based off experience if anybody has some.
valdeetz1 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 What everyone is trying to say, is that really you can do nothing. If your ex comes back, its because they wanted to- not anything you did or didn't do- actually the only thing you can do now is make them not want to come back. Granted you want your ex back, we all do at first. But the best thing to do is cut them out of your life. It's more for you then anything. NC is all about healing for you- if they miss you during it, then that is just a plus. Look at it this way. FB is poison like they said. Trust me- I know. You sit there and check their statuses, analyize them, twist them, get depressed if they're happy with out you, depressed if they arent, hope that they'll call when they say their lonely. It is an emotional yo-yo that mind ****s you. Because you start obsessing and cyber stalking. Love quotes arent going to bother them- it just makes you look either very intelligent or very pitiful- the later being the more likely. Your ex should understand you need to do this- and in all actuality you dont need to be worried about them and what they think. They left you- you two arent together because of them. They don't care about you and how their actions affected you. They have no right to say anything to anyone about any FB deletions. But like I said- if you get your ex back, its not going to be because of something you did or didnt do on FB- its going to be because they wanted to come back.(people were breaking up and getting back together way before FB- granted though not as much- breaking up I mean) Prepare for the worst, hope for the best, but dont sit there putting your life on hold for them. Move forward and focus on you.
Beeotch Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 What everyone is trying to say, is that really you can do nothing. If your ex comes back, its because they wanted to- not anything you did or didn't do- actually the only thing you can do now is make them not want to come back. Granted you want your ex back, we all do at first. But the best thing to do is cut them out of your life. It's more for you then anything. NC is all about healing for you- if they miss you during it, then that is just a plus. Look at it this way. FB is poison like they said. Trust me- I know. You sit there and check their statuses, analyize them, twist them, get depressed if they're happy with out you, depressed if they arent, hope that they'll call when they say their lonely. It is an emotional yo-yo that mind ****s you. Because you start obsessing and cyber stalking. Love quotes arent going to bother them- it just makes you look either very intelligent or very pitiful- the later being the more likely. Your ex should understand you need to do this- and in all actuality you dont need to be worried about them and what they think. They left you- you two arent together because of them. They don't care about you and how their actions affected you. They have no right to say anything to anyone about any FB deletions. But like I said- if you get your ex back, its not going to be because of something you did or didnt do on FB- its going to be because they wanted to come back.(people were breaking up and getting back together way before FB- granted though not as much- breaking up I mean) Prepare for the worst, hope for the best, but dont sit there putting your life on hold for them. Move forward and focus on you.[/QUOTE] Ditto!
Author shawn923 Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 Hmmm. Well yea i guess ur right. Im gonna take the next step and erase her off fb... If she wants to seriously talk, she has my number... Another question, how about our school contact? because i honestly cant go somedays without at least seeing her. i mean i could avoid her, but it would just make my life a lil harder, such as taking an extra route to go to class or lunch JUST to avoid seeing her... I mean i wanna do what i wanna do but then again i dont wanna break the NC rule. Is being 100% totally out of sight necessary? and how much is too much? if im within sight of her, should i move away to a different spot?
Layzie89 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 You have to keep in mind that right now your only goal should be to heal. By the looks of it you're FAR from even being close to healing. You don't have to get up and move to a different spot anytime you see her...just don't go out of the way to be around her. If you see each other, knod, smile and that's it. No need to be rude and totally look away when you see her...NC means NO CONTACT...don't talk to her, text her or anything like that man. Again, it's all about you right now. Don't worry about what's going on in her life..just focus on you, better yourself right now. She'll notice, and it'll be much more attractive to her seeing that you're fine without her than you showing your a complete wreck without her.
PegNosePete Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 @Pegnosepete your the type of people i politely asked NOT to comment on this thread. Well that is exactly why I feel that my advice is most relevant. You only want people to comment who will agree with your foolishness? Just cuz u dont gave a fb doesnt mean its not important... Fb is apart of college life like it or not Actually I do have a FB account. I use it daily. On my recent skiing holiday I even paid for wifi access to keep up with my friends and show off my antics. But if it impacted my life in a negative way then I would stop using it in a heartbeat. One advantage of FB is that you can place restrictions so you can continue using it without the negative aspects. So if you want to continue using it, simply remove those aspects by blocking your ex. This thread is for the young people that understand that fb IS apart of out lives in 2011. How do you know my age, and what does that have to do with the price of fish? FB is a part of my life as I stated above. I've had my share of "problem people" on FB. Just block them and move on. Unless you want to create a drama, which you obviously do. So go ahead, post what you like, and learn from the consequences.
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