blacklightning Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 I just joined this forum and have found some useful information. Now I think its time to ask for some advice. I am a 22 year old virgin, ive never had a boyfriend on any level and have never kissed before (besides drunk games and such). I was on the verge of having my first boyfriend when I was 16 but before that happened my parents had a horrible divorce and ended up moving etc. Since then I have not been able to talk to guys on any level (ive also been rejected maybe 6 times by guys when I ask them out) and I am rather shy in any encounter. I can sit for hours listening in a conversation but will not..rather do not know how..to join in. Its like I lost all social/conversation feeling. I am a loner. I have no friends, all the people I knew have moved away, its very frustrating. Getting up in age is not helping at all either. So most of my "friends" are people I talk to through the internet. I seem to have a difficulty with flirting as well, I flirt at very inappropriate times when I do not know im doing it or I do not notice if a guy is flirting with me, it sucks! I have tried to go to the bars but I keep getting "attacked" by players or guys who just want sex, knowing im insecure is not helping the situation. Recently I have started online dating, I have a few dates lined up but not knowing what to expect. Its frustrating because I am sexually active and have nobody to express myself to, more mentally then anything. What does a person in this situation do? I want to experience a relationship with someone but wow in this day and age its sure difficult!
Jynxx Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 I have tried to go to the bars but I keep getting "attacked" by players or guys who just want sex, I'm curious, how exactly do you know this?
fishtaco Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Online dating is worse than bars. You'll get "attacked" by crappy guys even more. My guess is the percentage of good vs bad guys are the same everywhere you have a random slice of the population, like online, or bars. But online is like the mass quantity version of bars. I'm not a woman, so I don't know how to date as one. My advice to guys is generally, first you have to learn how to make friends. Not make friends so you can date them, but make friends for purely the sake of having platonic friends. Dating social skills is built on top of platonic friendship social skills. If you don't have the foundation down, you're not going to get anywhere. Not sure if this is true for women as well. As far as getting turned down, that goes with the territory. You've been turned down 6 time, I've probably been turned down 60 times. There's nothing wrong, even for women, especially in this day and age, to take the initiative and ask someone out. But you have to be prepared to get turned down. That's just how it is. Just shrug it off. But, you are lucky in the sense that being a woman, you have options. You could take the initiative, or you could do the traditional way of just sitting pretty and send out the vibes and let the men stick their necks out to do the asking. Men normally don't have this luxury. If we don't take the initiative, it's not going to happen.
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