I can't get rid of hope of him returning and its ripping my apart

[horizzon]

It has been about a month since we broke up. Bascially with my immaturity i shoved him away asking if i could date someone else 2 days afterwards because i wasn't sure of him and i reuniting. Just stupid little acts. Even to giving him a time limit to decide if he wanted to just try and get back together. On Valentine's i confessed to a lie that i hid during our first month. We agreed when he was out of town we could see other's. So i did, but when he would ask me i denied it. Now apparently this is cheating and he won't speak to me. Also he has blocked and deleted me off of facebook.

 

We were together for 14 months. His best friends whom i am close say he will speak to me again. So does my close friend who is also friends with him. I hang out with his friends on the weekends, and my close friend texts and talks with him often.

 

This coming Monday my close friend and my ex are grabbing some lunch. She wants to talk to him about me. But i feel certain, i try to be as pessimist as possible, he will just say he wants to be done for good. Not even friends. But she says that you never know, it was for 14 months. And he needs some time to get over that confession you made.

 

I just want to get rid of the hope of him. It's paralyzing to say the least. I also feel like i know what he is going to say. But i don't wan't it to become a reality.

[0hpenelope]

Feeling that hope is part of grieving. Eventually, that goes away too, along with the feelings of pain, sorrow, fear, yearning. Don't be hard on yourself by feeling that hope.

 

I don't think it's a good idea for your close friend to talk to your ex about you. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions" is the lesson that comes to mind. Although it might turn out favorably for you, simply because everyone's circumstances are different.

 

What are you doing for yourself?

[horizzon]

I've tried to go on dates. Even though i haven't been interested in the guys. Still a date.

I've gotten new piercings, i've tried indulging more in myself since i had to sacrifice all my paychecks to support him. I've been around friends a lot, picked up hobbies.

 

But the pain still hurts a lot. Just a second ago i was able to view his profile under a friends. He has a new hair do, and a new tattoo. Also a girl who i think he is going to see is commenting all over his profile.

 

I'm trying to do my own thing. But its just not working so far.

[Layzie89]

Bascially with my immaturity i shoved him away asking if i could date someone else 2 days afterwards because i wasn't sure of him and i reuniting.

Okay so let me get this straight. You 'cheated' on him the first month of your relationship and waited 14 months before you finally told him. On top of that, YOU broke up with him...you ended a 14 MONTH relationship and had the spine to ask him if you can date someone else 2 days later?

 

Am I missing something? I don't mean to sound cruel but it seems to me like you brought this upon yourself. You lied, you broke up with him and went so far as to ask him if you can date someone else immediately after the breakup.

 

You can either live with the decision you made or text/message him (since he is ignoring your calls) how you feel and everything, that you want him back and you messed up. Remember, as a dumpee, he's probably going to stick to NC, just as most of us dumpees here at LS do.

[horizzon]

Okay so let me get this straight. You 'cheated' on him the first month of your relationship and waited 14 months before you finally told him. On top of that, YOU broke up with him...you ended a 14 MONTH relationship and had the spine to ask him if you can date someone else 2 days later?

 

Am I missing something? I don't mean to sound cruel but it seems to me like you brought this upon yourself. You lied, you broke up with him and went so far as to ask him if you can date someone else immediately after the breakup.

 

You can either live with the decision you made or text/message him (since he is ignoring your calls) how you feel and everything, that you want him back and you messed up. Remember, as a dumpee, he's probably going to stick to NC, just as most of us dumpees here at LS do.

 

Well what happened before this, around our 13 ish month. Is he wanted to end things. It was stressful because i was supporting him off of minimum wage. And tons of others things were cracking down on us financially. So the stress got to us. But like i said he wanted to, so we did. The next weekend we started dating and taking it easy. Then around our 14 month he just started to give up completely. Wouldn't reach out to me. He went to a rave, and the next day i tried to tell him how i felt. I said if he wanted to work things out then to call me. So he didn't. I tried texting him and he just said it wasn't worth it try anymore. so i just well then peace i don't want you really in my life. (he knew it was out of anger) so that break up was pretty mutual. THEN after that 2 days later i asked if i should start things with this kid Dylan. He said i don't know the future of us, i just know right at this moment i don't want to be with you.

 

But i didn't actually cheat! He agreed we could see others when he was out of town. It was an open relationship so to say. Its just i never told him. Which i was supposed to. And when he asked i lied. I have tried texting him, he won't reply. He also has me blocked and deleted off of facebook.