lenny Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Like if you found out you had terminal cancer or something. I have been with my guy for 8 months and have an appointment for an initial consulation with a neurologist on Friday to get tested for MS. I will admit my ignorance of what this disease could mean to my future, but should I test positive, is it really fair to date or stay in a new relationship knowing you have an illness that could be very challenging to the quality of life for the future?
tinktronik Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 That's a great topic. You have the issue of being a human being who loves and lives, but you also have the possibility of burdening another human with something that they may accept but not understand the long-term realities of. This all comes down to you personally, what you choose, what you are comfortable with. Are you capable of going it alone? How do you want to live your life? There are so many things to consider here.
tinktronik Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Oh, and to answer your question, off the top of my head I would continue to date. This is just a simple faction of my personality though. I do know people that would NOT date if this life choice arose.
Cee Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Try to take things one day at a time with your possible illness and relationship. The reality is that health concerns will affect most of us. I have a relatively severe form of bipolar disorder, which has required multiple hospitalizations. It's currently in remission and I can be fine for many years without a problem. I take care of myself, keep stress low, get lots of sleep, and take my meds. I told my new boyfriend about it so he knows, but it hasn't changed our relationship. Having a chronic illness is a journey. You learn about the disease and you learn how to stay as well as you can. There are successes and set backs and sometimes life doesn't seem fair. But illness can give the gift of gratitude in that you see life is precious and live as well as you can. Savor your life and all its joys and pains. Your partner can be there for the process and I suspect he's going to do a lot of reading and try to be supportive. My boyfriends have been great over the years although they can be mother hen with me. I guess that's okay. Allow yourself to be loved by your partner. You don't have to push him away to protect him. He's an adult and can take care of himself.
TigerCub Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Like if you found out you had terminal cancer or something. I have been with my guy for 8 months and have an appointment for an initial consulation with a neurologist on Friday to get tested for MS. I will admit my ignorance of what this disease could mean to my future, but should I test positive, is it really fair to date or stay in a new relationship knowing you have an illness that could be very challenging to the quality of life for the future? Hey Lenny, I completely know what you're going through. I had the same thoughts when I was diagnosed. Hon, MS is NOT a death sentence. I've had it for 9 years and I have no disabilities and I don't even think about it on a daily basis. I do understand that perhaps, I'm one of the lucky ones. I mainly just have bad balance and tend to veer off to a side when walking - other than that, nothing that makes my MS stand out. I am lucky, but I just want you to know that even IF you are diagnosed with it - its not the end of the world. I understand the fear, the anger, and just wondering what will happen when - I completely understand it, but honestly, you don't know what life has in store. Don't get paralyzed by the fear. As for telling someone you're dating, or even dating at all. Yes, date - your life MUST go on and it damn well be a good and exciting one I just told the bf I had at the time. I told him from the start and it was up to him if he wanted to stay or not - he stayed. one tip for you - don't read every little thing they have on MS and all the negative scenarios, because it will only bring you down. Just see the neurologist, do your tests, take the meds if you have it and go on with your life. ***HUGS***
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