ZXC123 Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Married 20 years, recently found out about LDR for the past 3+ years. Meetings 2-4 times a year. I reacted 180* from what I thought I would have prior to the event. I think all the information is all out now as she seems to have told everything after about a week of pressuring. I think the way I responded back to her was a complete surprise to her too. She now see's that I genuinely do care/love her. After I found out(Monday), I packed her things and told her to get them. She came and got them two days later. I was served papers that same Friday. Divorce has been in her head for the last year and I found papers indicating she had seen an Atty 2 months prior. She called and told me she would be moving back in under the advice of her Atty. We talked all day Sat and Sun and have been talking since. Very little arguing at this point. We have discussed reconciliation, we both seem open to it. We both know things need to change drastically in our lives for it to work. On my end and on hers. More than likely a major career change for me as my work is 50%+ the reason that caused the situation. Now the issue, I cannot be married to someone I can not trust. I know it will take time for me to completely trust her again but at this time I cannot say if I will be able to or not. How does one cope with that in their head now when discussion of reconciliation is being talked about??????
mark982 Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 as much as you try, you will never completely trust her again. She tossed all that out the window. and don't for a minute let yourself feel bad that your work sitution caused this. she wanted it plain and simple. if she was at the lawyers 2 months before having you served and now wants to get back together after having you served, well i'd sure cover my azz.there's something up her sleve.
Author ZXC123 Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 (edited) as much as you try, you will never completely trust her again. She tossed all that out the window. and don't for a minute let yourself feel bad that your work sitution caused this. she wanted it plain and simple. if she was at the lawyers 2 months before having you served and now wants to get back together after having you served, well i'd sure cover my azz.there's something up her sleve. There are so many things going through my mind right as to what I know and for how long. I wouldn't even know where to began to start. It would probably take me 20 minutes to type everything all out. The reason I say my job is part of the problem; HS sweethearts Military, got married a couple years in,few deployments(states) two times overseas 6 month interval one child while in service one when we got back. 5 years in, got out moved back home. Both started working for family business, she hers me my family. She has since taken another job about 4 years ago and that is where she met him(training out of state). He is married for 15 yrs with a 10 month old child. We have a D almost 18 and a S 15. My work, I am out of town 9 months of the year usually back on most weekends. There were a few times where gone for a month or so at a time. One time for approx. 1.5 years in/out of town two week intervals then out of town locally even when back. I know that has put a toll on her. I just looked at it that is what I had to do to support the family and our needs. When I was back I admit I really wasn't around the home/her that much. Almost like I was single from being gone so much and when I was home it was almost difficult for me being around. Winter months I am around and it is almost like iI transition back into being married again. I just wanted to clear the air on why I stated work was one cause. I told her last not I gave her unconditional trust for 20+ years and cannot be married down the road if I feel I cannot trust her anymore. Not fair to her or me. Edited March 9, 2011 by ZXC123
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