sunsh1n3 Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Well, my gut feeling was right. I posted a thread yesterday saying that i was having a hard time trusting my partner. Then last nite when we were in bed his fone went. I knew striaght away something was up as he was acting very weird. i asked him to his face who it was and he looked at me and lied. he told me it was his sister that rung. well this morning i checked...... it wasnt his sister but his ex. now i know everything. hes a cheat and a liar! im so devastated! i cant stop crying!!! any advice to get past a cheat?
TaraMaiden Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Yes - Leave!! What other advice could you possibly need?
fetish Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 do you live together? or have kids together? Even so, get out while you can. A cheater ususally doesn't change.
Beeotch Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Well, my gut feeling was right. I posted a thread yesterday saying that i was having a hard time trusting my partner. Then last nite when we were in bed his fone went. I knew striaght away something was up as he was acting very weird. i asked him to his face who it was and he looked at me and lied. he told me it was his sister that rung. well this morning i checked...... it wasnt his sister but his ex. now i know everything. hes a cheat and a liar! im so devastated! i cant stop crying!!! any advice to get past a cheat? If there is no trust....there can be no relationship, or no relationship worth having. I'm sorry, I know you must feel horrible. I'd say, make the decision for yourself to be strong and leave the situation. I don't know the details of if you're married, live together, etc....but I think it is time to assess the relationship from top to bottom and decide on what you want for yourself. It is of course not easy to up and leave without looking back....but realizing we need to is the first step versus spending years and years in a situation that you hoped would mysteriously work out. If you're married, I'd be more willing to confront it and work on it, but if not...I would honestly leave it alone and move on.
Layzie89 Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 My ex has cheated on me four times, each and every time I have taken her back thinking to myself "maybe this time it'll be different"....sure. The only thing different was the guy she cheated on me with. The sooner you get out the better.
Author sunsh1n3 Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 thanks for your advice. We live together, but no ring on my finger and no kids. I spoke with his ex and she has sworen that nothing is going on. apparantly he had to get something from her house (as they used to live together). they are suppose to be meeting up on friday and as far as im aware this is still happening. im completely devastated! my heads wrecked. but im upset more that if he didnt cheat then why didnt he tell me his ex was in contact!! and why is he still meeting her!!! hes obviously not considering my feelings! i stayed in my mums last to get a breather. dont know what to do. every1s telling me to walk away and its probably the best option..... but if he didnt cheat would i be throwing away sumthing good?
fresh8 Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Well, he didn't tell you it was his ex on the phone. There's gotta be a motive behind lying. She may claim nothing has happened but would you really believe what she says? Perhaps confront him about it and reassess? Based on what you have written though, I would go for the 'walk away' option. And don't look back. You deserve better!
PegNosePete Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 I spoke with his ex and she has sworen that nothing is going on. And ex's / AP's never lie??
Author sunsh1n3 Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 i met him there for lunch and we had a chat. i just told him that he is hurting me and that if any1 was to attemp to reconcile this then it must be him. He said he lied because he knew id react the way i did. so i explained that if he needed to get something from her house then he could have just told me that. He agreed and apologised. So when i left i basically told him that i had nothing left to say and that my work was done. I told him that if he wanted to truely be with me that he must make the effort. So i will not contacting him again and i will be collecting my things from the house later and moving into my mums. If he wants me then he can work for it. Ill kepp you updated if he does try!!!
PegNosePete Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Yes well done I think you handled it perfectly. Although I have to say, if he truly wanted you back then he should have made the effort right there and then. The fact that he did not, is a bad sign.
carhill Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Path of least resistance guy. He'll be entertaining the ex and will return after awhile with some sweet talk. Good move on the move-out. Beware of the sweet talk. Good luck
Author sunsh1n3 Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 thanks for the advice!! I will be moving out and sticking to my grounds! He should have made the effort then and there, your right..... but if knew this guy ud understand hes touchy about his feelings! lol hes not one to talk about how hes feeling! he just emailed me and asked me to call up for a glass of wine...... instead i made plans with my friends. lol im feeling so much better..... thanks for the feedback! i do have to call to the house and get my things, but i will remain strong and i will be very aware of his charm! hopefully i make it!
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