z00m25 Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Hey all, was just sitting here with nothing to do so i figured I'd vent some since its been a while since I've posted. Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago here in 2 days and I have been doing a lot of reflecting since. Every day is weird, some days I hate her guts others I hope that she will finally say something to me since I have not heard from her since. Still shocked that we spent everyday for 2 years together and shes yet to say anything to me. Nothing was every explained to me, we were living together and one day she just left. I did later find out that she was cheating on me with someone from her work and it makes a little more sense after finding that out and I don't think I will ever be able to forgive her, both for that and for how she handled the situation. I mean we had gotten into a bit of a bad fight but we def could have worked it out if she wanted to. It shouldn't be so surprising to me i guess since this is the kind of person she is and i knew that coming in but i really thought she had changed. I will NEVER reach out to her. But yeah anyway this whole thing has really messed me up emotionally, ive never felt like this before, granted i do not have much of a relationship history. I've dated a total of 3 girls and had a couple of hookups that i would talk to after but wouldn't consider it dating, and she was the only one i felt that i loved and that I could be myself around. I was talking to one of my friends after the bar yesterday and we got into a heated conversation about everything and he asked me what it was I wanted in life. I couldn't answer him as i have no idea what it is I want now. I just feel so empty right now and having that relationship with her to me gave me a purpose and something to work for and thats what i really miss. I've gone on one date since the breakup and it went horrible, and I dont think it was anything on my part she barely said anything the whole time and i at least tried to talk most of the time. But whatever i just dont feel like putting myself out there right now. I do want to eventually get married some day and the whole nine yards which i was always so against before i dated this girl so i guess i figured out something that I want. Anyway I thought of some questions I wanted to see what other people thought. In this day and age is cheating forgiveable? I find it extremely difficult for any relationship to go the distance with all these temptations and it happens all the time. You have all these social networking sites, email, IM, texting, etc. that its so easy for someone to get in touch with you. And you have all these shows on mtv or any other channel promoting partying and everyones having an affair with someone so it makes it all look ok. So honestly whats the point in getting married these days when statisticly looking at it theres really little chance of it lasting. Another thing I was reading somewhere that in this day and age, guys are acting more emotional these days then women when it comes to breakups and relationships. Im wondering why this is. I have noticed that it is more likely for a guy to reach out to a girl on facebook to try to meet up with than vice versa. Same thing with going out, I think its more likely a girl would be approched by a bunch of dudes rather than her going up asking out guys. So my guess is that women have more options available to them where I think guys have to make somewhat more of an effort. I don't know hopefully I get some responses and support and hopefully I can get back to sleep soon thanks for taking the time to read!
ljpaterson Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Hey.. i know how you feel. I too am going on 2 months in a few days here. It is horrible. I was thinking about dating too but I am not sure if I am ready yet. The guy who dumped me isn't in a relationship either, and I guess since he is still single, I feel like there is still a reason to hold on and hope that he is coming back. Let's both try to just stay strong.. no matter how hard that may be sometimes. I DO still miss him, but at least I can go without crying all of the time like I did in the first week.
sunsh1n3 Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Hi, I just wanted to let you know that your not alone! Ive just split from my boyfriend after finding out he cheated. I feel so lost and empty! I havent stopped crying and i just dont know what to do with myself. Its an emotional rollercoaster but unfortunately its sumthing we have to go through. I was with my boyfriend for 2 years and honestly have never loved any1 more than him. Its devastating to know i have to move on and try to be happy with out him, but its hard. Just keep strong..... both of you...... its tough now but times a great healer. (as much as i hate that saying, its right) goodluck !!!!
Author z00m25 Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 yeah it really sucks finding out that you've been cheated on. Do you think you could forgive them for doing that? Me and her talked about it randomly while we dated, she said she would be able to forgive me if i ever did it but i would never dream of doing that, and I told her i would never be able to. I mean it feels like if you let it happen once they're just going to do it again since they can get away with it. But i also feel that everybody deserves a second chance. Dont get me wrong I am doing my best to get over everything and I am being strong, I was just wondering peoples outlook on forgiveness.
eleanorhurting Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Hey. 80 days post breakup here... My story is different because my relationship ended because after several months of trying to make things work I cheated on my boyfriend and told him and of course he broke up with me. I am not proud of what I did but I definitely learned and paid for it and I am glad that I chose to tell him what happened right away. After messing up it was a good step in the right direction. I know the breakup is my fault so maybe my mourning has been different. I have been mourning not only the person but I feel like I have been mourning myself. Because I feel like the person I thought I was would have never done something like that. The guilt and the feelings of being worthless are overwhelming. But I know this had to happen so I could grow and I know that my boyfriend deserves better than what happened and he will move on to someone who appreciates him. Still, it is hard. It is very, very hard. I thought I was almost over him (not over the breakup though) until I ran into him last night at a party. Then last night I had a dream where he was getting married... and in my dream I was crying. Its really hard all I can say is dont even THINK of cheating. Its been almost 3 months and I am still devastated so I cant even imagine how my boyfriend is feeling. Hang in there you 2 monthers it will get better... OH and as for dating, coming from someone who has been there, rebounds are BAD FOR YOU!STAY AWAY Be strong! Stay on your own for a while. Since my breakup I went out a couple of times with someone I knew from the past, he was very supportive as a friend those first days when i couldnt get out of bed and from the beginning we were both upfront about not wanting to get involved. Yet eventually things got weird and I stopped meeting him for lunch, coffee, etc because I felt it was what was best for both of us (he wanted a FWB thing... me... not so much). So in my opinion it is best to just avoid it but that is just me.
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