race_engine Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 I have a girlfriend that i've only been with for about one month now, we hit it off really well when we met just a month and a half ago, and she seems like she's really into me. keyword: SEEMS. couple days ago i got a random message on facebook from a girl i don't know telling me something along the lines of "hey i know u dont know me but i dont want you to get screwed over by your girl, she's a whore and homewrecker and just last week she had sex with this guy named..." she named the guy and she said she hopes i believe her and that was the end of the message. i didn't know what the hell to believe after that, i mean who DOES that?! i'm not one to believe everything someone tells me, but why would someone message me out of nowhere, who i don't even know, just to tell me my girlfriend is a slut? unless it's somewhat true... naturally, my male ego got inflated, and instead of keeping quiet about it til i found out more (like i probably should have done), i immediately called my girlfriend and asked her who this guy was. she told me about him a little bit and then asked what it's regarding and i told her that i received a message from this girl saying she cheated on me with him last week. my girlfriend assured me it wasn't true and said she didn't know the girl, and immediately started trying to reassure me that nothing is wrong and that she has no reason to ever cheat on me and ruin what we have. i figured that was a good response. a guilty person likely wouldn't word things like that and would probably just get defensive and withdrawn. so she seemed innocent to me...unless she's just really good at deception, which she may be, who knows. anyway, she asked me if everything is okay, i said yes, she told me goodnight and we hung up. about ten minutes after getting off the phone, i received another message from that girl. i had replied to her earlier and asked her why should i believe her, and what does this have to do with her, and why are you telling me this? her response really didn't answer any of my questions it just said "trust me i know how you must feel!! i am not trying to hurt your feelings, but your girlfriend is a whore and you shouldn't have to go through that, she needs to quit spreading her f***ing legs lol!" just the manner in which she talked in general seemed very insensitive, considering what we were talking about. the "spreading legs" comment and the "lol" at the end struck me as something a sincere and well-meaning person would not write. seemed more like something a drama-loving rumor-starter would write. then again still, she could be telling the truth. my girlfriend texted me around this same time i was reading this new message and she told me "goodnight sweetie, i'm goin to bed now" to which i replied "k". she figured something was up since i wrote just "k" so she called me back and asked if everything is alright. i told her that girl messaged me again, and then i kinda started going off on my girlfriend, i don't know if it was the right thing to do but i did it anyway. things got more heated and my girlfriend remained calm and non-confrontational and just trying to reassure me and stuff, but i ended up saying something along the lines of "OKAY THEN WHY AM I GETTING RANDOM MESSAGES FROM PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW TELLING ME YOU'RE A F***ING WHORE?!?! PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT UNLESS THERE'S SOME TRUTH TO IT!!" at around that time, she broke down into tears, softly at first, while she explained that she has no reason to cheat and asking me what she ever did to me to make her not trust her like this, then she stopped talking altogether and just cried. by this point i felt like an ass. it wasn't nice hearing my girlfriend cry, i felt bad for her if she was truly innocent, but i felt even more bad for myself if i had in fact been cheated on, so i really didn't know who to pity. i ended up apologizing for yelling at her and doubting her, and we made up and are on good terms now. the next morning she texted me a long message that, in a nutshell, said she basically is very disturbed by the argument last night and that trust is a huge thing for her and if i don't trust her then she's done with the relationship, also that if i accuse her of cheating one more time, then she's done as well. this struck me as odd. i wouldn't think an innocent person would say that, only a guilty person who is trying to prevent it happening a second time. or maybe i'm wrong. to me it seems like this girl likes me a WHOLE lot, so honestly i can't see her cheating on me, but still, the fact that someone deliberately messaged me to tell me she is a whore unsettles me and eats away at the back of my mind like a mouse gnawing. i highly doubt she'd cheat because i know girls who cheat and i've seen how they tend to act right before they do it. my girlfriend likes me a lot (really can't even leave me alone), loves talking to me, texting me, being around me, having sex with me, and everything else that has to do with me, basically she exhibits all the traits of a very satisfied girlfriend. but there is of course, that chance that she's just a really good actor and i'm a f***ing schmuck. lol. i really hope that isn't the case. on the one hand i don't want to get hasty and dump her only to discover later that she really was a good girl and honest. on the other hand i don't want to risk the fact that she MAY be cheating and i MAY be getting played for a fool. any advice or suggestions would be appreciated, i've tried to be as thorough and detailed as possible when writing this, so that a clear picture is painted. based on what i've said, what are anyone's thoughts on this? how can i better detect who is lying? am i being too harsh, should i automatically trust my girlfriend, or am i being a freakin fool and most likely getting played, i just don't know. girls have a way of being very convincing, especially when they start crying, she very well could just be using that as a ploy to make me feel sympathy for her or whatever. anyone who has gone through anything like this before or who is good at catching liars, please let me know.
Destiny Rose Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 I've seen my fair share of cheaters and they generally get defensive right off the bat. If you had no suspicions or indications of her being unfaithful and she seems into you then I would be inclined to Trust her. Who is this chick and why is she so Interested in your relationship! Really - you don't know this other girl from a hole in the ground. Maybe she has it in for your girlfriend and just wants to mess up her life. I would give your girlfriend the benefit of the doubt.
heartshaped Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 As a female myself, this other chick just sounds like someone that doesn't like your girlfriend and is trying to start drama. I mean really "lol" at the end of the message? Your girlfriend didn't react like a person who had cheated either. The only thing that I would say is suspicious is her saying if you accuse her of it again she'll leave you, but then again, if you are innocent and your boyfriend is freaking out about something to the point it makes you cry..well, I'm not sure I'd put up with that either if I was innocent. If I were you, I'd try to figure out who this girl really is that messaged you crap; that in itself will tell you the whole story. IMO though, your girlfriend is innocent and this is just some chick trying to start mess.
lemonlegs Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 I agree with everybody else. She probably didn't cheat on you. It sounds like the girl messaging you is a girl that has problems with your girlfriend for whatever reason. Being a 19 year old girl, I know that girls can be super bitchy and vindictive... and girls that SHOULD be acting like adults act like 14 year olds. How old are you and her? If your girlfriend is younger, chances are it's just a drama queen who wants to mess up your relationship. Could perhaps have to do with an ex boyfriend or something. She obviously made a fake account for the sole purpose of messaging you. Simply ask your girlfriend if there's any girls out there that may dislike her enough (for whatever reason) to do something like this. There's a couple of girls I could pin point if something like this were to ever happen to me. Best of luck... and don't jump the gun. Trust your girlfriend until SHE gives you a reason not to.
Author race_engine Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 thanks all three of you, i wasn't sure if it was just me or not. apparently it was, i was just being too quick to judge...basically an ass lol. just got off the phone with her a few minutes ago (after talking for nearly 2 hours) and after hearing the way she talked to me and paying close attention to how excited she sounded, i realized that there's no way in hell this girl could even think of cheating on me, it would be literally impossible unless she wasn't human. lol. so yeah i just got hasty and doubted, but you're right, i didn't know that other girl from a hole in the ground, whereas i know my girlfriend somewhat well and it's clear who i should believe. @lemonlegs: ummmm...she is in high school lol. she's 18 and i'm 22. hey, i like 'em young and yeah that's probably the reason for the drama.
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