heartbrokengrl Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 I met a wonderful man (him 27 me 25), we only dated 2 months but he was amazing as any man could have been (I know people put their best faces in the beginning) but he was such a genuine/real gentleman, I couldn't have asked for more. I haven't dated in 2 years because I'm a picky girl, but he was so wonderful, I fell for him...However, he had told me that 3 months before we met he broke up with his ex-fiance. They dated 8 years since they were 17yrs old and been engaged for 4 years, which makes them broken up for 5 months now. I told him 3 months wasn't very long to heal but he said I was in no way a rebound and he was very into me and wanted to even travel with me, etc... We liked each other so much we both joked how pathetic we were together lol Anyway, going into almost 2 months, he was becoming distant. I once joked when my breasts felt tendered that I hoped I wasn't pregnant. He got weird days after that getting scared. (lesson learned, not a funny joke and im not pregnant) He's very open and told me that since we were getting serious and it scared him thinking about having a baby and wondered if he could grow old with me. He said I was very special to him. Of course, neither of us want kids right now. He apologized for being distant and that he was not sure if he was ready to be with anybody because people in his life told him that he might not be healed and so this got him thinking about where he was at his life. In the meantime, his ex fiance texted him and wants to be friends with him. He said he doesn't want to be friends with her and that he's disgusted with who she had become. She left him for a girl (she's bisexual) and moved out with the new girlfriend. Then 2 days we hung out, we had such a great time after him being weird, things were awesome, I tried not to bring up anything serious and just enjoy the time we had when we were together. Then one night after a great night of hanging out, he was all over me, he started getting more drunk and emotional and said how he's still in a lot of pain from his breakup out of nowhere. He paid for her education, was ready to be a father with her and said how people idolized their relationship and how it was love at first sight, blah blah blah, but that she had disrespected him by showing off her new gf on facebook pretending they were married. I didn't know what to say, I tried to be supportive and listen. He then went on to say he's going into a dark place right now and he doesn't want to hurt me or drag me into it. He said i'm perfect, beautiful, and very sweet to him but that he's just hurting and has no love to give. He said he knows he won't have another chance with me but that it wasn't fair to me to let me see the pain he's in. We both got so sad, we lied in bed holding each other and crying. He said he had already missed me and was bawling. I told him it made no sense but I knew there was nothing I could do so we kissed goodbye and I left, no contact since. It was bittersweet, but he has not tried to contact me since in 4 days. I know to give him space, and he may not ever try to contact me, but I miss him so much. I know it was only 2 months, but we had such great times, we still liked each other all the way until the end, except the pain that was growing in him withdrew him from me. I want him to get better, but I also want him back. I know people will say, why would u want somebody like that back who is still attached to his ex-fiance even though he said they would never get back togegther. I can understand 2mo is nothing compared to 8 years, but we were so great together and she hurt him. I've been trying to improve myself in the meantime, but I still think about him everyday. He was a very honest and sweet guy with a lot of things in common, I truly appreciated him every moment we spent together. I know in some way he must miss me even though he is hurting. Today is Mardi Gras, I took off work a week ago thinking we'd hang out tonight, I never told him that, so tonight is my day off. My roommate is at work and my close friends are busy, so I'm thinking more of him right now. I wish he would just call and realize what he gave up and give us a chance. While I understand that may never happen and I should move on, but I still have that hope while moving on. His facebook status still says he's in a relationship with me but that may be beacuse he only goes on facebook like once a week or that he doesn't want to make it a spectacle and have his friends comment on what happened. Who knows, I haven't changed mine either and I like it that way, how pathetic I know. I keep thinking he'll call me soon in a few days to say at least how sorry he is, or that he wants to see me, since the last night we spent together he was drunk when he broke up with me although being very open and honest. I miss him.
fetish Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 I know it hurts, just be glad he was man enough to be honest about where he stands right now and try to get yourself together. Don't try to blame yourself, just realize its bad timing at the moment. He probably does miss you but I'm sure he misses his ex too, especially after 8 years. It's never good when you're involved with someone who you have to share. Just think, would you rather get any more involved with this man only to come to find out he either leaves you for his ex or cheats on you with her. He seems to be a more stand up guy than to be a cheater based on what you've said here.
Author heartbrokengrl Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 UPDATE: Yesterday (day 5 of NC) he sent me an e-card that said "I really really miss you" but I never responded. I know the e-card site will e-mail him to let him know I read it, but it made me so happy, I even decided to go out with some friends last night and felt like I had some power back. However, I'm still sad that it didn't say "im sorry, i made a mistake, let's get back together" so I didn't respond, I don't know what to do. I would love to get back together with him, but not until he's ready. I'm not going to lie, I loved the e-card even if it was just a scrap he threw out to me lol I'm thinking about not doing anything about it today and maybe tomorrow I'll send an e-mail or text saying "thanks for the e-card"? or is that not a good idea. I hadn't posted my facebook in 5 days (our relationship status says we're still together) and I posted a link today with the Bob Dylan song "Don't think Twice, it's All right" a breakup song, but I still don't want this to be the end of us, it was just a song I was listening to...so what should I do? I DO want him back, but telling me he misses me is not enough for something like that.
Layzie89 Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 I DO want him back, but telling me he misses me is not enough for something like that. First off, CONGRATS! The ball is now in your court..you have the power now!! You already know what you should do judging by the quoted line above. He misses you, that's good...but as any advocate of NC will tell you here, wait until he tells you what you want to hear. You're only on day 5 NC and he's already reaching out, just give it some time to develop...no need to respond back right now!
Author heartbrokengrl Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 (edited) I need advice quick, he just sent me this e-mail, what should I say? I want to tell him he hurt me and how I felt disposable, etc..should I write that? I know this might be my chance for him to come back to me, this is what he wrote just now: woo wee, someone is mad at me. i sry lady. i be a mess too. your box stays open now, my rear pegs haven't been lifted back up since you rode last, i carry that mustache flask everywhere, and i've written a email everyday. i jus send it to myself instead. the ecard was one of those but i hit the send button with a uh o. i thought it was cute tho. so you were right from the get go. telling me all those crazy things. never figure id finally succumb to that stuff. like cold feet on a wedding day, my soul took off running, oops. ur too good and i see us being together for a long time. i didn't even realize how much i incorporated you into my life. ahh i hope its not too late yet but im sure it is. all those defenses i worked so hard to tear down... i bet that ****'s more like the berlin wall now with texas border patrol and vietnamese land mines all over the place. i mean what are u to do with a man who risks his life everyday but is scared to death of a lil thing like love. id take em out back and put one in his head if was u. man aint no good fo no one no more. UPDATE: too late, I just sent an e-mail to him (broke contact) telling him how I felt hurt but I wasn't angry with him, the e-mail was bittersweet I suppose, not too long of an e-mail. I dunno what he'll do now...I didn't say anything about getting back together Edited March 11, 2011 by heartbrokengrl
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