ech Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Hello....my bf will go MIA for 2-3 hours at least once a week and not answer my texts or calls during this time. When I do get ahold of him he says "sorry, I went for a few drinks" or out for dinner with his buddys. But why cant he answer my calls? It just sounds shady. When I ask him why he ignores me, he says he doesnt. But cleary he does. Am I just being stupid? He recently asked me to move in with him, but I am just worried about what he is actually doing. Any thoughts? Thanks!
yellowhibiscus Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Well, I would talk to him and ask him why he doesn't answer his phone. Maybe he is just they type of person that doesn't like to be bugged when he is with his friends. I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet. And if you don't trust him, definitely do not move in with him. That could make things much worse.
Art_Critic Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Every day I go to work I leave the house and don't speak with my wife till the end of the day.. Unless there is some kid emergency or something like that I don't know where my wife is during the day and she hasn't a clue where I am either and neither of us cares.. Why is it that you need to know where your BF is every single min and any given time ? Has he ever given you reason to not trust him ? meaning has he ever cheated on you before ?
Kamille Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 I know every couple is different, and we all have different expectations - but not answering a text for 2-3 hours hardly seems like an offense to me. Bf and I can go up to 12 hours without answering each other's texts or calls. We have lives outside of each other. We also trust each other, and that means neither one of us feels the need to keep tab on the other at all times. I'm wondering why you feel he's being shady? Do you trust him? are there trust issues in your relationship?
Lilmisus Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Yeah, not knowing where he is or what he's doing for 2-3 hours a week isn't a big deal at all. It's not like he goes days without you hearing from him or that you've found reasons for him to be untrue to you or for you to not trust him...he just doesn't answer the phone all the time. Every person needs a life outside of their relationship, and sometimes he probably feels like he just wants to..you know..chill, and not worry about you 24/7. You need to chill out and let him do his thing every once in a while and understand that he needs it. Especially if you decide to move in together, he will probably go MIA more than once a week, and you need to realize that not talking to one another all the time, and not always answering the phone every time you call/message each other, helps keep the relationship alive and not make it too over powering.
dreamingoftigers Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 I disagree, if there is something that isn't sitting right with you, try to figure it out. Is it him or is it you? Usually feelings like this don't crop up over nothing.
Titania22 Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Try going MIA yourself. If it isn't a problem for him, it shouldn't be a problem for you.
Author ech Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 Thanks everyone....I figured I was just being stupid. But they always say to follow your "gut" and something tells me he is up to no good:) But he is probably telling me the truth. Thanks:)
sugarmomma Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Its just rude to ignore a person's calls whether he is up to something or not. I would stop calling him and ignore his ass when he calls. They can dish it out but they can't take it.
florence of suburbia Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Wow, it makes me feel old to say this, but I'm so glad I'm not part of this generation. Try turning off your phone some time, just to see if you can do it. It builds character.
Author ech Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 I asked him how he would like it if I did that every week, he said he would be pissed. And I HAVE ignored his calls a few times just to "play" the game. He gets pissed, I get the "where were you" ****. I dont have a real reason NOT to trust him, I did find him on a dating site about a month ago, but he said it was from along time ago, and deleted it. But it still puts that doubt in my head ya know.
florence of suburbia Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 I asked him how he would like it if I did that every week, he said he would be pissed. And I HAVE ignored his calls a few times just to "play" the game. He gets pissed, I get the "where were you" ****. I dont have a real reason NOT to trust him, I did find him on a dating site about a month ago, but he said it was from along time ago, and deleted it. But it still puts that doubt in my head ya know. Haha, no, I mean, turn your phone off because it is good for you. Not to play a game with him. People lived for most of the twentieth century without mobile phones. You can do it for 24 hours!
paleblue Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 (edited) i dont entriely know your situation obviously, i was going to say maybe you are being a little smothering, but than i saw the post about his add on the dating site so that blows that out of the water. still not sure that a few hours is a big deal. maybe he really is just unwinding a little. he asked you to move in. thats pretty significant. Edited March 10, 2011 by paleblue
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