Mangomonkey Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 What is chemistry and how do you know when you got it? I was told it was a special feeling. There is no emotional attachment. Just a connection. I always believed that chemistry is just charisma. Someone is just able to awe you in such a way that you are attracted to em. Nothing magical. Nothing special. They are just good at attracting people or certain people. And your one of them. Others said it was kinda like a premature version of that love at first sight experience. I don't really believe it but yea. any thoughts?
purplepanda Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 It's when you can talk to someone for hours and hours about anything and everything, and there's never a dull moment. When you can laugh at the same, silly things. It may have something to do with having things in common, or it may not; depends on the people I guess. Chemistry is also determined, for most people, how you feel when you kiss them. Usually the first time you kiss them, you'll know if there really is a connection that you feel when you converse, etc.
depplover_1980 Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 Chemistry isn't to do with talking for hours about everything - that may be down to having some chemistry, but that is more likely to be down to compatibility. Chemistry is actually a physical attraction thing where you are attracted to their pheromones; you love the taste and smell of them. This is determined at a sub-consious level where we are sniffing out someone who has the opposite immune system to ours, so combined it would make a healthy baby. If you have real chemistry with someone you know about it because it is the all consuming feeling of wanting sex with them a lot of the time - I've had true chemistry twice and have even excused bad behaviour due to the power of it.
somedude81 Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 Chemistry basically is magic. Some men know how to create it, others don't. Unfortunately it also seems to be required to get a woman interested.
TouchedByViolet Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 Chemistry basically is magic. Some men know how to create it, others don't. Unfortunately it also seems to be required to get a woman interested. I got a degree in chemistry and work 40 hours a week as a chemist. However, I have more questions than answers regarding the topic. I would have better luck pulling a bunny out of a hat then improving my chemistry with women :bunny:
Andy_K Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 Chemistry is what women feel when they've got the hots for a guy and have convinced themselves (rightly or wrongly) that he feels the same way
East7 Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 Chemistry is not talking for hours, that's connection Personal experience : Chemistry is about mutual feelings..It is when two persons feel the love without even saying ILY. Chemistry is magical, it is when you love and feel loved back, it is when you hug or make love and you feel two persons make one, is when you feel like walking on the clouds with that person and you feel like you two are the only persons on earth and nothing else matters.
jane100 Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 Interesting thread. Can you have chemistry with someone you have some major compatability issues with? Presumably so ...
Titania22 Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 I thought for this one I should travel to the source of all true wisdom. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chemistry
depplover_1980 Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 Interesting thread. Can you have chemistry with someone you have some major compatability issues with? Presumably so ... Oh yes, you can certainly have chemistry with someone you even hate!! Which is why some ex's will split, then when one is moving out, they end up having mad sex on the stairs - because physically they cannot get enough of that person. It starts as a lustful thing, which obviously can lead to love but on a biological level it is about babies and genetics.
depplover_1980 Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 I thought for this one I should travel to the source of all true wisdom. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chemistry Dat is well funny init?
810 Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 What is chemistry and how do you know when you got it? this question, to me, is one of the most interesting questions in the human kind, and it goes along the same line as what is love/infatuation?, how do you know if s/he loves me? and am i in love? if it is regarding to relationship then chemistry is one of the styles of falling in love and/or staying in love. it's when sparks fly, knees weaken, heart trembles, can't-live-without-that-person kind of thinking ...it hits you like a bullet when you're least expected. you got it when everything about that person,i mean every little thing, from smell, touch, looks etc., etches upon your heart. it doesn't matter if you just know the person or have been with them for 10 or 20 years because it can grow with time (friends to lovers happen that way.) that's my take on it.
Duckduckgoose Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Compatibility seems to be the social part of it... Chemistry seems to be the hormone part of it. Love is the emotional part of it. From all the posts about chemistry on this thread it seems about covered. I would just like to add that you can have chemistry with someone you are not physically attracted to. You look at them and think "bleh" but lets say you are in a car with them for a bit... you kind of get a "whiff" of them... and if your hormones are telling you things your brain should be ignoring but isn't... you have some chemistry. I do not know if chemistry is a 2-way street. If they are getting that same "whiff" of you that you are of them or not.
depplover_1980 Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Compatibility seems to be the social part of it... Chemistry seems to be the hormone part of it. Love is the emotional part of it. From all the posts about chemistry on this thread it seems about covered. I would just like to add that you can have chemistry with someone you are not physically attracted to. You look at them and think "bleh" but lets say you are in a car with them for a bit... you kind of get a "whiff" of them... and if your hormones are telling you things your brain should be ignoring but isn't... you have some chemistry. I do not know if chemistry is a 2-way street. If they are getting that same "whiff" of you that you are of them or not. I had a great relationship with 'another man' year ago, we never slept together but I was so attracted to him, but he was not good looking at all! In the end I had to distance myself from him and concentrate on my relationship, which ended a couple of years later. I then found him and had the best one night stand of my life. He looked like this: http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=dennis+pennis&view=detail&id=243E643A34419216446E94953A37C7CBE34B196D&first=1&FORM=IDFRIR
Duckduckgoose Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 I had a great relationship with 'another man' year ago, we never slept together but I was so attracted to him, but he was not good looking at all! In the end I had to distance myself from him and concentrate on my relationship, which ended a couple of years later. I then found him and had the best one night stand of my life. He looked like this: http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=dennis+pennis&view=detail&id=243E643A34419216446E94953A37C7CBE34B196D&first=1&FORM=IDFRIR Wow that is one freaky looking guy Yeah... if that "whiff" is right... it will make a woman do funny things. Maybe a dorky guy is right up some chicks' alleys... wow I just realize that sounded bad. And if they are that unattractive you can always give them a paper bag with a smiley drawn on it Remember... if it is chemistry it means you will make a healthy baby
depplover_1980 Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Duckgoose my last boyfriend is the long lost twin of this guy: http://i645.photobucket.com/albums/uu179/HaizeaZone/jonathan-rhys-meyers.jpg We also have amazing chemistry. I think this little exercise has proved what 'chemistry' is about!!
Disillusioned Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Chemistry is the art of creating explosions... isn't that what all chemicals do?
OliveOyl Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Yes... chemistry is not compatibility. You can be extremely "compatible" with someone and stay up all night talking with them, but in the end they feel like your brother because there is no "chemistry." I believe both are needed for a long-lasting relationship.
LoganParker Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 WOW that's a broad and deeply philosophical question. Here's what I think: From years of approaching and flirting with women, I am convinced that women are born knowing what a "hot guy" looks like, in the same way that men instinctively "know" what a hot woman looks like. Those traits are embedded in our genes. I think CHEMISTRY = ATTRACTION + EMOTIONAL CONNECTION. When women see the traits in a man that they have biologically evolved to feel attraction for, the respond by becoming more attracted. Some of these traits include dominance, higher status, resoursefulness, decisiveness... etc. But that is just attraction. When a woman sees the powerful business man, or the charismatic musician, or the famous actor... etc... what she feels is attraction... but if from there, she feels like she has a ton of commonalities with him, and there is a mutual understanding... then chemistry occures
Duckduckgoose Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 I think CHEMISTRY = ATTRACTION + EMOTIONAL CONNECTION. Hmm... Imma have to disagree with that one. This is just my own personal experience but the more I have talked with mountain bike guy... the more chemistry I have been feeling with him. The first day I met him we went up to the mountain and rode trails... and I felt a lot of "chemistry" with him. I know we are "just friends" and I do not find him physically attractive, but I couldn't help feeling like it was a "date" when we rode together. And I did catch that "whiff" from him several times (no not farts, pheromones) so at some points I was trying to stay AWAY from him physically so my nose wouldn't pick up on it. I have smelled pheromones from several males before but only some have /that/ effect, which his did. It is something that goes deep, and its not really an emotional connection because I don't feel any emotions for this fellow besides the ones that my hormones are telling me I should be feeling. So I am not physically attracted to the guy, and not emotionally connected... Must be chemistry... or maybe magic
Knittress Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 In reading all these posts and all the female-heavy replies, it got me wondering - do MEN not have 'chemistry?' Are they just biologically programmed to mate with any reasonably attractive female, and it's only females who carry this special 'healthy babies' imperative?
somedude81 Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Yes... chemistry is not compatibility. You can be extremely "compatible" with someone and stay up all night talking with them, but in the end they feel like your brother because there is no "chemistry." I HATE it when that happens. That's why I think some women are screwed up. How can I have such a great connection with somebody and she doesn't feel anything? What the hell is wrong? Then she ends up doing some jerk head whom she has nothing in common with. Bah.
Author Mangomonkey Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 One of the posters said something interesting. Do men have chemistry or feel it too? Now for me personally. I honestly dont know. Maybe i'm in denial with what i feel. But for now i don't know. And cause i don't know i guess i can say i never felt it. I felt connections. But chemistry is something else. The only thing i noticed is that chemistry is something most women believe in while most men just either go with it or don't.
East7 Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 (edited) I HATE it when that happens. That's why I think some women are screwed up. How can I have such a great connection with somebody and she doesn't feel anything? What the hell is wrong? Then she ends up doing some jerk head whom she has nothing in common with. Bah. Because a lot of people confuse connection with chemistry. Connection is related to communication, talking for hours without getting tired. Chemistry is more than connection, it is much deeper than most people consider it. It is related to both emotional and sexual fusion. Chemistry is also mutual, it is a 2-way feeling. If it is not mutual, it is not chemistry. Some women have a sexual attraction and they call it chemistry which is reductive. Chemistry is sexual AND cerebral both. I don't feel chemistry with someone I am sexually attracted but don't have an intellectual connection and/or it is not mutual. Edited March 9, 2011 by East7
depplover_1980 Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 One of the posters said something interesting. Do men have chemistry or feel it too? Now for me personally. I honestly dont know. Maybe i'm in denial with what i feel. But for now i don't know. And cause i don't know i guess i can say i never felt it. I felt connections. But chemistry is something else. The only thing i noticed is that chemistry is something most women believe in while most men just either go with it or don't. I think men can have it too, but obviously most of us women overread magazines like Cosmo that tell us about these things. I have a lover in my life, we have a magnificent sexual attraction. When he is sleeping next to me I reach over and have a sniff of him, he smells like vanilla fudge - his pheremones are delicious. I know something similar happens to him because during sex he puts his nose into my neck and I hear him taking massive sniffs. I never say anything as I don't want to make him conscious of it.
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