purplepanda Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 Last June we met through a mutual friend (who stabbed me in the back several times in the past and after that). He had a girlfriend of a long period of time, but we were both getting over someone who knew how to hurt us pretty badly. We became pretty good friends. Six months later, I got a cell phone and we talked more. I had a boyfriend, he was single, he's 18 and I'm 17. He suggested that we be more than friends, but he said he didn't want a relationship. I knew there was chemistry and I was kind of bored with a routine relationship, so I broke that off. We met up a lot and hung out, had sex... We texted constantly, day to night, and we admitted feelings for each other. My parents found out about him and I lied about it so I got in trouble, then I kept lying to them when I wanted to see him. We live 40 miles apart. In the beginning of this "friends with benefits" thing, we agreed we weren't going to date. On Super Bowl Sunday, he said he was in love with me. I didn't confess the same thing. A few days later, he tells me that no, we're not going to date. I was so confused... He's moving to Seattle in June, but he got into some trouble, so I doubt he'll leave that soon because he has to pay a fine. (A dumb mistake he made, that's all. He's a good kid, has a job, a 4.0). After he said he loved me but refused to be my boyfriend, all we did was fight. Over stupid things, like I said the name of his future clothing company reminded me of something funny, and he said "Go away, you're pissing me off." In person he said he's defensive because "that was how he was raised". But I've been feeling for a while now that he's trampling all over me. He demands so much of me, and yet it's not enough. When he would ask if I could get a cover so we could hang out, I'd say, "Maybe.." He'd get angry at me. So much of the time he acts like he's so lonely and I'm the only thing that can cure him of that, but he WILL NOT be my boyfriend. Now I'm not allowed to date him or see him because I would sneak away to meet him; I even drove to see him and I can't have a car anymore. He got back with his ex almost two weeks ago, and last time I talked to him was four or five days ago. I've been having a lot of family issues, partly because I'd do almost anything to be with him, and I was sent away for a few days. When I talked about it, he acted like he didn't even care, all he said was "me and (insert name here) are pretty happy." He then said, Not that I don't care about you... I replied with, not unkindly, Well sometimes you just care more about someone. He got all huffy and mad because he couldn't understand what I was saying, I was talking quietly, and I said, "Sorry... Also, I know that you're not right for me." He told me I was being stupid, then hung up. I haven't talked to him since. He's been texting my friend all weekend, asking how I was, and she made him feel bad and told him I won't talk to him anymore cause he treats me like crap. He told her he's already sick of that girl he got back with, he tried setting her up with a bi girl, she said no and I said "Say to him 'why don't you date her since she's so hot?'". He said, "I probably will." I almost started crying right there, also because over the weekend he told her how he almost had sex with someone else (I was his first...). I just want to forget about him, I've told my friend not to talk about him, I won't talk to him anymore. I'm grounded for a long time (because of him >.<) and it's very hard not to think about him when he's the reason I'm grounded and he doesn't even care. He STILL is telling my friend, "I thought I wanted to be with her, but I don't know now." Just tell what to do, I hate this so much....
Nexus One Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 (edited) You're addicted to him, because you're infatuated with him. Infatuation is encouraged for a large part by "love chemicals" that flow through the body. As long as those chemical processes are raging inside of you, then you'll be addicted to him. So what can you do? Well one thing you can do is to wait it out, wait out for the chemical processes to start dwindling down so you can regain your sanity and self control again. Another thing that can help, well it helps for me, is to see the person I'm in love with together with another partner. So for example I once had a crush on a girl, but I later found out she probably had a boyfriend, but I wasn't sure about if that was the case. My crush didn't immediately disappear after I heard she probably had a boyfriend, but a while later I actually SAW her with her boyfriend and after that I was done pretty quickly. I noticed the chemical processes in my body started to dwindle down, I noticed I started to regain sanity again and started to fall out of love pretty quickly. Perhaps you should get a picture of him AND his girlfriend. (via Facebook perhaps?) Also in my opinion he sounds kind of like an inconsiderate d*ck. If he knows you're in love with him, but decides to talk to you about f*cking other girls, then that's pretty inconsiderate. Edited March 8, 2011 by Nexus One
Author purplepanda Posted March 8, 2011 Author Posted March 8, 2011 He doesn't post pictures of him and his girlfriends on facebook... >.< Everything is completely private. And he's not directly telling me, he was telling my friend and he was drunk.
Nexus One Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 If a girl would start talking to me about her wanting to f*ck other guys that would do the trick for me too. In my opinion there are at least several things in your story that would put me off. Love chemicals are blinding you from his faults. There are plenty of other and (more) compatible fish out there. Right now you probably only want him, but in several years you will see how silly this was. Infatuation makes people silly.
Author purplepanda Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 I know he's bad, that's why I'm trying to get over him. D: Thanks for your advice.
iJester Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 In order to fall out of love with someone, you must kill them.
Author purplepanda Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 In order to fall out of love with someone, you must kill them. Okay weirdo lol.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Heres how you stop infatuating over him, if you dont know this already. He said he was in love with you, but he really wasnt. he was paying you lip service. He is infatuated with his ex and is still head over heels for her. I can see it by your story. He used you for a rebound to get over her, and it didnt work. Thats why he treated you like that. He had no intention of taking you seriously, thats why he never wanted to be in a relationship, and why he never wanted to be your bf. He waas still thinking of his ex while he was with you, and thats why he got back with her, and is still trying. So everything he told you was crap, he was using you. Does that help you see whare you stand here? Does that help you realize that you shouldnt even be thinking about him?
Author purplepanda Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 Heres how you stop infatuating over him, if you dont know this already. He said he was in love with you, but he really wasnt. he was paying you lip service. He is infatuated with his ex and is still head over heels for her. I can see it by your story. He used you for a rebound to get over her, and it didnt work. Thats why he treated you like that. He had no intention of taking you seriously, thats why he never wanted to be in a relationship, and why he never wanted to be your bf. He waas still thinking of his ex while he was with you, and thats why he got back with her, and is still trying. So everything he told you was crap, he was using you. Does that help you see whare you stand here? Does that help you realize that you shouldnt even be thinking about him? He cheated on her the weekend after they got back together. O.o it's not about her. A week later he dumped her, got with the person he cheated with, now they're cheating on each other. He tells my friends all of this. :/
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