Anna86 Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 I have posted here a few times now! My ex and I broke up under 2months ago. Not the cleanest of breakups as he lied to me about many things. He has either changed into an ass##le or else I have finally seen his true colors. To cut the story short, I have to collect my stuff from his. I have a LOT of stuff. It will take awhile to get everything packed up and ready. I will need his physical help to help transport my stuff back to mine. I don't have any friends in this area that will be able to help as I live quite far away from all my close friends/family. I also don't have a car. So, how do I react? I don't like him as a person, in fact, I feel I hate him and he makes my skin crawl. Do I let him know this by acting cold and indifferent? Or do I act cool and collected and show him that I am over him. I am worried if I act all cool and friendly he will think I still have feelings for him though and that he is off the hook about all the sh't he put me through!! I really don't want to see him, but I want my stuff back as I want 10percent closure. I am sooooo worried if I see him he will act nice and sweet and what if the worst thing happens and I for some insane reason think hes not all that bad!! Trust me, he is. But he is good at hiding it. Does anyone have any ideas on how to approach this?
depplover_1980 Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 I'm sorry, but surely you have a loving friend or family member who will go out of their way to help you here? I feel sorry for you if you lack loved ones like that!!
Author Anna86 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Posted March 8, 2011 Well, we both live in a foreign country, I moved away from my home country last year so all my really close friends and family live thousands of miles away from me.......I am not asking them to fly over to collect my stuff for me I have close friends here, but most are mutual friends with him and I really don't want to drag them into this mess. They are not taking sides in this and it has caused a few falling outs already. I know a few that would, but I just don't think its fair to put them in a really really awkward position. Trust me, if my family and close friends lived in this country, I would get someone to drive by and get my stuff. In fact, my family would not let me go to his alone!! But I do not have that luxury at the moment.
depplover_1980 Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 By having even a mutual friend there is will avoid most of the awkwardness and everyone will be well behaved. You sure you're not making excuses because really you want to be alone with him?
Beeotch Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 I have posted here a few times now! My ex and I broke up under 2months ago. Not the cleanest of breakups as he lied to me about many things. He has either changed into an ass##le or else I have finally seen his true colors. To cut the story short, I have to collect my stuff from his. I have a LOT of stuff. It will take awhile to get everything packed up and ready. I will need his physical help to help transport my stuff back to mine. I don't have any friends in this area that will be able to help as I live quite far away from all my close friends/family. I also don't have a car. So, how do I react? I don't like him as a person, in fact, I feel I hate him and he makes my skin crawl. Do I let him know this by acting cold and indifferent? Or do I act cool and collected and show him that I am over him. I am worried if I act all cool and friendly he will think I still have feelings for him though and that he is off the hook about all the sh't he put me through!! I really don't want to see him, but I want my stuff back as I want 10percent closure. I am sooooo worried if I see him he will act nice and sweet and what if the worst thing happens and I for some insane reason think hes not all that bad!! Trust me, he is. But he is good at hiding it. Does anyone have any ideas on how to approach this? Your ex can think whatever he wants so long as you know where you stand You need his help...he's doing you a favor...so be cordial. No need for extra tension, just get to business, be polite but not overly friendly and think of it as one day....just focus on moving your stuff. If he wants to be nice or whatnot.....don't put yourself in a position to "fall for it". You don't have to be extra cold but set a clear boundary in your mind like okay, we're only gonna keep the convo about relevant things like "Hey help me with this box please" etc. Anything else....brush it off or skirt around it politely. Get in, get out and get on with your life esp since you know the truth about him
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