i'mfaraway Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 I've known a guy for about half a year now. He's more than an acquaintance but less than a close friend. I always thought he's been flirting with me and that he was somewhat interested. A few weeks ago he said he has just got a girlfriend. I was disappointed. The last time he asked me out after he told me about his girlfriend, he forgot to show up. I was furious. His explanation was that he was busy at work and he forgot the time. He asked for a reschedule. I have since ignored his calls and texts because I don't stand for tardiness. I plan to fade away since it hurts me to be around him knowing he has a girlfriend and he's shown himself to be unreliable. It's because I want to move on instead of hanging around him. Is it a good idea?
tinktronik Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 I think you're really overreacting to one missed appointment.... But that said, you're making the right decision in NC because you need to distance yourself from him now that he's in a relationship anyway.
lululucy Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 Absolutely yes. Not showing up to your date was disrespectful and you don't need to be anyone's backup. He's only thinking about his own needs/desires, so you are definitely doing the right thing by distancing yourself from that. Good luck, I hope you find someone worthy of your time and effort soon!
Author i'mfaraway Posted March 8, 2011 Author Posted March 8, 2011 I think you're really overreacting to one missed appointment.... But that said, you're making the right decision in NC because you need to distance yourself from him now that he's in a relationship anyway. I don't want to be mean but I really can't bring myself to talk to him or explain why I have to go NC. So I thought of the fading out.
Author i'mfaraway Posted March 8, 2011 Author Posted March 8, 2011 Absolutely yes. Not showing up to your date was disrespectful and you don't need to be anyone's backup. He's only thinking about his own needs/desires, so you are definitely doing the right thing by distancing yourself from that. Good luck, I hope you find someone worthy of your time and effort soon! Thanks. It wasn't really a real date since he has a girlfriend now but it's just disrespectful. I know there are different ways of distancing so I'm in a dilemma whether to fade out or tell him I don't want a reschedule because of some crappy excuse.
tinktronik Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 I don't want to be mean but I really can't bring myself to talk to him or explain why I have to go NC. So I thought of the fading out. I think NC fade out is perfectly fine. You don't have to explain to him why you decided to do this.
Author i'mfaraway Posted March 8, 2011 Author Posted March 8, 2011 Thanks. Good to know. Anyone out there has done the fading out with no-guilt results?
jadedone Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 Thanks. Good to know. Anyone out there has done the fading out with no-guilt results? unfortunately, the other party will be too busy or occupied with his gf to even notice you have faded away.
Author i'mfaraway Posted March 8, 2011 Author Posted March 8, 2011 unfortunately, the other party will be too busy or occupied with his gf to even notice you have faded away. I thought of this too. I just don't want to stoop to some people's level and feel guilty about it. But it's good that you reminded me of it.
Author i'mfaraway Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 I'm not trying to get any LSer to tell me it's not okay to do the fading out or trying to solicit views that I want to hear but I just saw the other thread with some guy asking whether he could fade out of a girl he was flirting with. Some LSer said it's a cowardly thing to do. I want a "guilt-free" fade out. Really alright in my case?
tinktronik Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 I'm not trying to get any LSer to tell me it's not okay to do the fading out or trying to solicit views that I want to hear but I just saw the other thread with some guy asking whether he could fade out of a girl he was flirting with. Some LSer said it's a cowardly thing to do. I want a "guilt-free" fade out. Really alright in my case? Yes, really alright in your case you have some feelings for a person who is now taken.... It's the mature thing to do.
AverageJoe Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 His explanation was that he was busy at work and he forgot the time. He asked for a reschedule. I have since ignored his calls and texts because I don't stand for tardiness. Just for future reference something to consider. If my job requires me to work late, that trumps a date I may have. I doubt I am alone in that regard.
Author i'mfaraway Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 Just for future reference something to consider. If my job requires me to work late, that trumps a date I may have. I doubt I am alone in that regard. He didn't let me know he wasn't going to turn up. I had to ask a day later because I wanted to know whether he would have remembered. It would be a different story if he had let me know before it that he won't be able to make it or at least on the day itself.
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