BlindRage Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 why do they leave for another when you treated them good? Why couldn't they be satisfied with the love that was offered to them, why did they have to go seek it somewhere else? I'm so depressed Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlindRage Posted March 8, 2011 Author Share Posted March 8, 2011 How is it possible to be so happy with another???? Do they have absolutely no heart or remember the past events? They become hateful stones when they leave. Link to post Share on other sites
brokendreamz Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 I feel you mate. I thought I was doung better than I obviously am. 13th day of NC. WHY WON'T SHEE CALL!!!! She seems to be off living her life - going out and partyting like never before and the thought of that is killing me. I'm so ****ed up at the moment, I miss her like crazy... All I want to do is call her and ask what the **** is going on but I know I shouldn't. I think I'm entering anger - I want to give her a bollocking. Does she not have ANY feelings left for me? **** **** **** Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlindRage Posted March 8, 2011 Author Share Posted March 8, 2011 I feel you mate. I thought I was doung better than I obviously am. 13th day of NC. WHY WON'T SHEE CALL!!!! She seems to be off living her life - going out and partyting like never before and the thought of that is killing me. I'm so ****ed up at the moment, I miss her like crazy... All I want to do is call her and ask what the **** is going on but I know I shouldn't. I think I'm entering anger - I want to give her a bollocking. Does she not have ANY feelings left for me? **** **** **** Isn't it just pretty much the worst feeling ever. I hope you and I start moving on because this is literally a deadly parasite eating up inside our hearts/souls. This is ridicules, why can't our hearts and brains not erase them just as fast as they did us? It's like our emotions work for them 24/7 as if they were getting paid a six figure income. Link to post Share on other sites
brokendreamz Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 Check out the Post 'what I've learnt' from green policy... makes interesting reading. I'm geting worried that I'll never get over this one. Can't work out if coming on here is making me obsess more or not. I'm so unhappy! I know now that she shouldn't have been, but I realise now that I made her my world. I honestly thought I was hers too - how wrong can you be! I have nothing left! Got to sell the house and she gets to feel excited about her new life!!! WTF. What a mug. Link to post Share on other sites
timchambo Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 Ya this happened to me too. over 7 years together. I gave her the world. Propped her up while she struggled all that time. Took us across the country and back. Put a ring on her finger. Shared every moment together. She left for a guy at work. After she made up her mind she was going to pursue him exclusively, the insults rolled in. All I can say is she was selfish, and never admitted to making a mistake in her life. This will never change for her if its been this long. Eventually, maybe years down the line, they will fall into the same life routine that we did. Hopefully by then I will have moved on completely. Best of luck getting over these cold hearted bitches fellas. Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 why do they leave for another when you treated them good? Why couldn't they be satisfied with the love that was offered to them, why did they have to go seek it somewhere else? I'm so depressed Our dumpers are happy to leave because of the relief they feel. They're not obligated to us anymore, they are their own person, they can make decisions without us as a factor, they don't answer to anyone. Now, they won't feel frustrated after fights because we're not around to fight them. There's nothing to work through or sort out because they ended the relationship. They're free. And when they meet someone else, they go through the same euphoria of getting to know someone fresh, someone with whom they don't share hard times, someone with whom they have a clean slate. They're confident that they learned their mistakes in the previous relationship, added those lessons to the lessons learned from other relationships as well, and they will never, ever make those same mistakes again with the new romantic interest. ...Until the cycle of fights and compromise and arguments and the negative stuff they so once detested with us start appearing in that new relationship. Will they stay with them? Maybe. Oh well. I don't make a big deal of my exes being in a new relationship. I used to, but when I realized "It's out of my hands," I felt better. It's the same thing I tell myself when I feel guilty about something I did to my ex or when I remember something I know we could've worked out. That he made the choice to leave is definitely out of my hands. He didn't want to compromise or fix things or none of that stuff so in his case, he made the easy choice to just walk away. Being a dumper is hard as I've been one too, but I do remember that the relief I felt outweighed the guilt of hurting that person's heart. It's probably the same thing my ex feels, so in this way, I at least understand where he's coming from. It doesn't lessen my pain, but this realization helped me move forward. Link to post Share on other sites
J0N Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 I've dumped girls and been dumped by girls. It is definitely easier to be a dumper, but it still is not an easy choice. Guilt and regret can be tough to live with. While our exes put pictures of their awesome new life online and we hear how happy they are everything may not be as it seems. They may deeply regret what they've done, maybe not. All bark no bite, so to speak. The point is that you will never know. Now is the time to focus on you. My ex may or may not be happy without me. She made up her mind, it is now on her to live with the consequences of her decision weather they are good or bad. One thing is for certain though, I do not give second chances. Link to post Share on other sites
Vickstar Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 I completely understand how everyone is feeling, my ex bf left me for a girl in his work a month or 2 after the break up, i worshipped the ground he walked on and gave him nothing but love but once a problem comes up he leaves what we had instead of sticking together and carrying on, it just shows who the weaker person is. It has been 5 months of NC, they are still together, i do have my bad days but i feel tons better, so keep sticking to NC and i promise you, you will feel better in time, working out helps alot too. The positive way to look at this is that us dumpees have not jumped into a relationship straight away and have taken the time to mourn, it makes us stronger and like i said before it just shows how weak the dumper is. This doesnt apply to all dumpers but just the ones that jump into a relationship straight after the previous one. Link to post Share on other sites
J0N Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 I completely agree, I told myself a while back that I was going to take the time to properly get over my ex. I have a friend who got dumped and immediately started dating a girl who had been just dumped. They act so lovey dovey towards each other but it is blatantly obvious that they just wanted to avoid getting over their ex's by using each other. I made a promise to myself that if I start dating somebody new, it will not be to mask over feelings for my ex or to accelerate the getting-over-her process. It will be because I am genuinely attracted to this new person. Nobody deserves to be used. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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