Author tincanman99 Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 I agree. Especially since I think you guys haven't even gone out yet, if I'm not mistaken? If I've gone out with someone I give the courtesy I think you're great speech. Otherwise, I don't see anything wrong with fading. What good could possibly come from you telling her "Hey, you're a rich girl and I have an issue with it." Speeches can be ugly. Here is the reality, shes cute, has a great personality and disposition but there are thing about her that intimidate me. Least of which is that she is extremely wealthy. When I first started talking to her she was very aggressive. Asking me all about me - where I live, what I do, blah, blah, taking my number and email and meanwhile telling me evasive things about going to dinner with a "friend". To me this is an immediate red flag, why would you tell me this. One part of me tells me to throw caution to the wind and chase her down and another part is telling me to disappear. I dont know...
i'mfaraway Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Speeches can be ugly. Here is the reality, shes cute, has a great personality and disposition but there are thing about her that intimidate me. Least of which is that she is extremely wealthy. When I first started talking to her she was very aggressive. Asking me all about me - where I live, what I do, blah, blah, taking my number and email and meanwhile telling me evasive things about going to dinner with a "friend". To me this is an immediate red flag, why would you tell me this. One part of me tells me to throw caution to the wind and chase her down and another part is telling me to disappear. I dont know... Sorry to go off topic and I'm not judging one way or another. How would you feel if she or some other girl were to fade out on you?
cerridwen Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Frankly I dont want to have that conversation. Its easier to just stop talking to her. Say hi and go about my business. Most women have no shortage of men, I am sure she has other admirers. Its no different than women giving guys their number and than never picking up. Do you two work together? For some reason, I was under that impression. That's why I said you should not ice her out completely and not speak at all. It will make for weirdness and who needs that?
spackle Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Are you sure? There have been tribes and civilizations in the past where cannibalism was okay, where human sacrifices were okay. They are both considered extremely unacceptable for our current culture and civilization, but it wasn't always always this way. And for more recent cultural shifts, slavery makes an excellent example. First it was okay, now it's not. Culture decides what's okay and what's not. When in Rome, do what the Romans do. But either way, using "intent" to judge if an action is okay or not, is still at best an excuse. So if you think flirting with some guy, then disappear, is fine as long as you never intended it to go anywhere, then that mind set could be applied to many many other things, and it could be used against you as well. I still say action matters more than intent. So I still disagree with you on both points. If you want to say flirt & vanish is not okay, that's great, but then don't use intent as an excuse, and you should never ever do it yourself, no matter the intent. Follow your own advice. If you want to say flirt & vanish is no big deal (like me), then it doesn't matter. Intent doesn't even come into consideration. We can agree to disagree, but pick your side and stick with it. Practicing what you believe, even if I disagree with your beliefs, will earn my respect. But don't do the "I say this way, but I get to behave that way, as long as I have this intent". sheeple?.....
fishtaco Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 sheeple?..... Why not? Society rewards conformists, whether you like it or not. If you want to go against the grain, you'll have to pay the price for it. Want a good job? Don't get tattoos all over your face. Don't want the cops to hassle you? Don't drive a loud red sports car with all kinds of aftermarket modifications. It's up to you what you want to do. Me? I don't have the energy to fight the system. Either way, like I said, you believe what you want. As long as you practice what you preach, I'll respect you. In this case, I assume you never do the vanishing act yourself.
threebyfate Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Okay. I didn't understand why you started your last thread since you'd already decided not to date her prior to typing the opening post. And now, you're asking about fading over a meaningless flirtation? There's got to more to this than what you're telling us enough that you'd start two threads over something trivial. What are the real issues that you're working through so we can try to help?
daphne Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Speeches can be ugly. Here is the reality, shes cute, has a great personality and disposition but there are thing about her that intimidate me. Least of which is that she is extremely wealthy. I agree about the speeches, esp since you'd never gone out. It seems condescending and too much. But this part made me sad. She sounds like she has all of these great things going for her but you were willing to pass her by because she intimidates you? You never know what might have happened with this but it sounds like you prefer the safe route. Perhaps someone with more glaring imperfections or that financially may need you more? And it is possible that she sensed your hesitation and now is fading on you because she senses you don't want her. Just a thought. I know I have been that way lately when a guy gets inconsistent on me.
Author tincanman99 Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 I agree about the speeches, esp since you'd never gone out. It seems condescending and too much. But this part made me sad. She sounds like she has all of these great things going for her but you were willing to pass her by because she intimidates you? You never know what might have happened with this but it sounds like you prefer the safe route. Perhaps someone with more glaring imperfections or that financially may need you more? And it is possible that she sensed your hesitation and now is fading on you because she senses you don't want her. Just a thought. I know I have been that way lately when a guy gets inconsistent on me. She does intimidate me, thats why I was going to back off. I had not made up my mind and was thinking about it. I was very consistent when I saw her last. I was enthusiastic and was into her, I started having hesitation after that. Maybe she was looking to make someone jealous, sampling the water, who knows.... Its dead now.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 She does intimidate me, thats why I was going to back off. I had not made up my mind and was thinking about it. I was very consistent when I saw her last. I was enthusiastic and was into her, I started having hesitation after that. Maybe she was looking to make someone jealous, sampling the water, who knows.... Its dead now. This is how you kill a relationship/romance.
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