scrc1 Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 Some of you are probably familiar with my tale, and its a long one. My ex and I broke up in October, and its been an extremely rough time for me. Despite my coping efforts and trying to get on with life, I am still deeply in love with her and would seize any chance at reconciliation if I got it. I haven't moved on with anyone else, and I don't think she has either...as far as I know. I've gone NC, and she has been dropping the crumbs quite a bit the last two weeks. She's been calling every couple days now. Sometimes I take the call, sometimes I don't. We haven't discussed our relationship when we've talked. Today was a bit different. She called and talked about a funny thing that happened when we were together. It was good to laugh with her again. When we were about to hang up, I think she heard the catch in my voice...the hurt. She asked if I was OK with her calling me with this kind of frequency. I had to think quickly, and I said "It depends." "Ok..." she said. I didn't want to get into some type of huge discussion. "I think you know where I'm at with things. I want you to respect that. But of course I enjoy talking to you." She seemed a bit taken aback..and said "Maybe I shouldn't if I'm not calling to say I want to get back together. I'm not going to force you to be my friend or anything." I didn't like the turn this was taking, so I said "We don't have to put all kinds of stipulations and rules in place right now. Just respect that OK." Things cheered up after that and we said our goodbyes. I'm sure I will be hearing from her again. I am curious if anyone has some suggestions for me on how to move things along from this point. I realize many suggest go NC and stay that way unless they beg to come back. I have gone NC for quite a long time now, in fact I still have not reached out to her...it's all been one way so far. She's reaching out to me for something, but I'm not sure what it is or what to do with it. We live two hours apart, but will be back in the same town again next month. I am not prepared to be "just friends", and will be very hurt if that's all she's seeking. I think she knows me well enough to understand that, at least I hope. I believe there are feelings on both sides still, but certainly stronger on mine now. Once again, I submit myself for your advice. If something works out I owe you all an enormous debt.
paleblue Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 i think you are getting friend zoned. sorry. if someone wants to be with you there is nothing thats going to stop them from beating down your front door as caliguy would always say. and he's right. your ex gf wouldn be dicking around like this if she really wanted to be with you. i think youre still pretty caught up with her. i think you're doing a fanstastic job at holding her at bay. but you are also hurting yourself. no one really wants to just be friends with their ex like that. and either do you. at least not right away. besides, its impossible to be just friends with your ex if you still have feelings for her. if she is completely over it and is just using you a a crutch until someone else comes along thats not fair to you. thats just selfish. she's smart. she probbly knows this, but she's prob just f'ing with you a little to test the waters since youve been playing it cool. she's wondering where you are at. i think you already got the answer as to what she is thinking by this: "Maybe I shouldn't if I'm not calling to say I want to get back together. I'm not going to force you to be my friend or anything." that sounds like bad news. and im sorry to have to say that. she's right. she shouldnt be calling you if she doesnt want to get back together. period. i could be wrong about all this, but the signs are there. i think you should cut her off and move on and heal yourself. i think she's just dicking with you. sorry.
Author scrc1 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Posted March 8, 2011 You're right. I can barely even read my own post. It just reeks of optimism, clinging at false hopes. All I am doing is satisfying her curiosities, making her feel better about the situation. At least it seems like I got an answer out of it, though it isn't the one I wanted. I don't think she wants to get back together. Otherwise, wouldn't she just do it? I suppose I just have to ignore, ignore, ignore. What could she say that I should ever reply to?
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