fresh8 Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 (edited) This is my past thread with all the history: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t267310/ To make a long story short, ex broke up with me 2 and a half weeks ago due to family not approving of me and she did not think we stood a chance with the family issues. After a week, I started to feel better as we texted about it and she thinks that it's for the best that we both move on but try and be friends down the track. 2 days later, my sister ran away from home. It's a long and difficult story in itself. She has a disability and is clearly being taken advantage of by this foreign guy who wants to marry her (after only 4 months of knowing her) and it's pretty clear that he's doing it so he can stay in this country. My ex has been very supportive of me throughout all of this. And I do understand - as a friend. She stayed up later on the night my sister ran away (2 nights ago) to text me and make sure I was ok. Last night I got in a fight because I had no idea who my sister's mystery man was. I saw him and he is as much of a jerk as you could imagine. He's lucky I want to be a lawyer (currently last year law school) and I can't punch his face in. My ex found out and we talked on the phone for the first time in about 3 weeks. Still as friends - yes. Then to my surprise, an hour later, she texted me, 'Basil hopes you feel better soon.' Basil is the name of the toy she bought from overseas recently and we playfully treated him as our kid (Don't laugh!) And then she followed up with a picture message of the toy. Maybe I'm reading too much into this and she is thinking of me just as a friend. However, I feel like there are still feelings there. What I want to do is be patient, make up with her brother (who hates me) by asking for him to let me and her hang out, and then hopefully one day convince her parents that I am a good guy. Obviously dreaming of a fairy tale ending that our feelings will resurface... Is it dangerous for me to be thinking like this? What do you guys think I should do? EDIT: If you found out someone was doing this, would you get annoyed? Edited March 8, 2011 by fresh8
Eddie Edirol Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 if you want to get back with her at some point, and you probably wont be able to, you have to stop talking to her. When you talk to her, you cant move on, its not healthy for you. You are also helping her get over you.
Author fresh8 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Posted March 8, 2011 Thanks Eddie. I know that I need to face the music here. I've deleted her number a few days ago and deleted all our messages/photos a while ago but she's texting me and I (stupid me) keep replying. I think I'm doing ok as far as I am now running every morning to try and clear my head and this whole sister stuff is keeping my mind off of her. Plus I am meeting a few girls here and there to hang out and stuff... Just sometimes I can't help but miss her because I have liked her for 2 years.
TheHandyMan02 Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 It seems like her parents and siblings should have no reason to dislike you, youre in your last year of law school and you clearly care a lot about your disabled sister. Perhaps they don't know you well enough yet. If you treat their daughter well that is all that should matter to them. Also i would never let family stand in the way of love. If you guys think it will work then it is up to you and no one else to decide that.
Author fresh8 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Posted March 8, 2011 (edited) Handyman02: Her parents made us break up a month into the relationship. Her brother is a psycho so she begged and pleaded to me not to confront him or the parents. We dated another 2 weeks before she broke up with me because she felt bad about her dad feeling upset that we were together. The day after she broke up I met her and we agreed to date on the down low. Noone was allowed to know about it. Plus the son's reasons for hating me are stupid - he thinks I'm a bad guy. And that's what the parents think cause they only believe him as he's the eldest. It was this 8-9 months of creeping around that got to her. She said she couldn't take it anymore and quite frankly, she said she is happier now than the past few months because it was just too much pressure. She said she could not wait another year for me to finish my degree and get a job as a clerk. And even if we did wait, she said she wasn't sure if her parents would allow us to stay together. I asked to fight for her now but she said that she could not go through what she went through last year. There are a lot of things I can't really put up here. That's why I let her walk out of my life. My biggest regret is not driving to her when she wanted to break up to try and convince her to let me speak to her family (at the time she asked me not to see her else she would change her mind... and the rational me told myself that it was time to move on). Edited March 8, 2011 by fresh8
Author fresh8 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Posted March 8, 2011 Yep, I've decided to go NC and try and move on. This was a really crappy situation I got myself into. I guess part of me has been hurting cause she wouldn't fight for me like I did for her despite she telling me that I was the only guy she's loved so much in her life. Everyone has been telling me that I am going to be a lawyer, am good looking, smart, whatever and that I can get any girl I want (I don't agree though haha) and I guess it makes me feel like there's still a lot of opportunity out there for me... I'm just a bit sad I can't share it all with this one girl.
Author fresh8 Posted March 12, 2011 Author Posted March 12, 2011 After 4 days NC, I was out on the town after a career fair. I was in really good spirits after that fair because I was asked by the State Prosecution Office to supply them with my resume. Went out for drinks and still in a good mood when I left to get food with a friend. Went down an escalator and saw some familiar faces. Realised it was my ex's brother and his colleagues. And standing there facing away was my ex. I looked away immediately and felt really sick. Told my friend I didn't feel well and went to look for a bus. 10 minutes later she texted me, 'Hey, how are things with you?' Pretty sure she saw me. But I haven't texted her back. Just feel ****ty right now
Trovador Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 Hey, you remind me of a gf I had eons ago and all I can say now (and just a few time after our break up) is good riddance... she broke up with me because of her family, thinking I wanted just to knock her out (her parents)... Ha ha, I wanted to marry her! The whole thing was a mess and as she didn't stand for me I had to go away... years later I learnt she regretted big time her "stupid weakness" because (according to my source) "she didn't find another man as good as I was"... It was relatively easy to move on because I swear to God, IT WASN'T MY DAMN FAULT!... And, ultimately, her family did me a big favor... So, if your ex isn't a minor I don't see why you would want to settle with her, seeing how she has refused to fight for you... save her motives are different than familiar ones...
Author fresh8 Posted March 12, 2011 Author Posted March 12, 2011 She's scared to lose her family if she fights for me a second time. The first time round they made her break up with me. At her young age, I wouldn't expect her to fight for me. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. However, I really do hate her family a lot because they did not even give me a chance to meet them and show them who I am. Damn culture!
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