Well, I Found Out the Answer

[MarlyStar]

You know what's odd? At one point when he was completely defeated and he was told he owed everyone big apologies, COS told me he sat there, looked down at his hands and sighed. He asked: "Does she know what I've said about her?"

 

They told him no. I know nothing, it had been an 'anonymous' investigation.

 

There is no such thing. If you are accused of something that can cost you your job, you have the right to know and defend yourself. How did this guy get to be a general without knowing that? Why would they tell him that? And why would he care enough to ask?

 

 

Next month I go on a two week vacation. Sure am looking forward to it.

[Mrlonelyone]

WOW just freaking WOW. The guy sounds like he is a man who is not used to hearing NO. He is a man who is used to getting his way. I really cannot imagine how such a man would go for so long without his instability being noticed... but hey no one noticed what was wrong with the Ft. Hood shooter either?

 

You found out about his LDR he was caught in a lie and flipped out.

 

What's more is, and correct me if I am wrong, generals are appointed by the president and confirmed by the senate are they not? So this man had to have some real good social and political skills in order to get that rank. His brass plated cajones over this probably stem from him thinking "I know the president and X # of senators so I can be a jerk now" Or something like that.

 

Perhaps all those years of becoming well liked... now that he had made one star...he was able to let it all hang out. Also his demotion if that were to occur would/could reflect badly on the president and our military.

 

You are soo very lucky to have had those interactions on tape with some sort of recording of them to back you up. A man with those sort of connections has probably just had his way in the past.

 

I won't ask what agency you work for. I imagine it's Centrally Indispensable for American security... or something like that. Who has officers who have a rank comparable to generals in any meaningful way? I wonder.

[elaina]

I'm glad there are men who appreciate larger women. Larger women and men deserve love too. It was the 'feeder' part that got me too.

 

Dear god, I hope I never run into this guy again in the elevator. This guy is about 5'9 and 180 lbs who clearly works out every day. He's very well liked and respected. If they only knew...

 

I gotta tell ya, I've had terrible luck with men in the last six months. Since I cut off the 'Feeder', I started working on a project with a one-star general. Charming, well-liked, respected, very competent with an interesting background. He was within very strict professional bounds (which is absolutely demanded where we work) was romancing me. Never stepped out of line, but I knew, and I gave subtle signals of approval. Romantic liaisons are okay here, but not between people working on a project or in a chain of command. However, he'd say, when this project is over, I want to take you to this or that place.

 

Then someone told me that he had a long distance girlfriend, who drives down and spends every Thursday and Friday evening with him (her work schedule weekend) and they went on vacations together. So I asked him about it. It's okay with me, but I like to have all the cards on the table, and altho I didn't say so (only: I understand you have a girlfriend, a long distance girlfriend--that's all), I don't think I would go out with someone who has an established relationship.

 

He got very upset. He wanted to know who told me (I wouldn't tell), tried to tell me he only saw her occasionally, he wasn't going to marry her, he was a single man and sleeping with women was a benefit of being a single man. He was going to find out who told me and 'expose' them. Then he started almost pleading with me that she was just a single mother, a nice girl, who'd been good to him, he'd known 10 years. Then he got mad and bullying almost, who told me, he was going to expose him, he was going to find out. He could find out anything he wanted about anyone. He started going off on who was surveilling him, and said how did anyone know about her, he never told anyone, even his neighbors knew her by an alias. I was stuck in a room with him alone for 62 minutes while he went on like this. It was horrible.

 

As soon as we went our separate ways, I told my supervisor, who told me to write it up. My supervisor was right.

 

Two days later, he made a complaint against me: said I had a romantic obsession with him, was stalking him, was misusing information in our joint project, and had stolen his identity to boot to open fake credit in his name. Not only that he wanted me fired and prosecuted to the full extent of the law. No, kidding.

 

Well, I work for the Fed govt, and my boss has a rank equal to a one star general, and my boss's boss is equal to a 4 star general. What this guy didn't know is that because of the nature of my work and our project all my computer work is keylogged, all my calls recorded, and the room we used for our project was also recorded. Within about 4 hours, he was proven a liar. But he didn't know it. He kept calling my boss with more and more details, once even offering her a bribe of using 3 rooms reserved for his men at Disney's Field of Green (this was in front of 4 other people).

 

Then he arranged a meeting in her office and gave her more details. By this time she had had a team of internal affairs experts come down from HQ to handle the 'complaint' formally and inpartially. And they sat in on the meeting. He apparently made a fool of himself, had more accusations, threw his weight around, insisted I be fired, etc... and made himself way too much at home in what was a formal office setting. And I guess tried to solicit a gift from my boss, something he saw on her crendenza he wanted (he didn't get it). He also admitted he lied to our agency to be able to work on this project.

 

Last Thursday, there was the final meeting to conclude the complaint. My boss's boss (the one equivalent to the 4 star general), insists the guy be removed from the project (which is going to make him angry) and on top of it, he is going to lose our agency's sponsorship of his clearance (altho he'll probably still have one with the DoD--altho not having ours will hamper his career a bit). And what's more is my boss's boss wants to be the one to tell him the 'bad' news. He told us what he was going to say to this guy, and it's very rude.

 

The whole thing makes me feel sick. I liked this guy personally, and can't imagine how this turned out like this, and I know how important this project and clearance and career is to this guy. I know he brought it on himself, but gosh, I wish this would all just go away, and we can all just get along again.

 

I swear to god, I am so discouraged about men my age.

 

Yikes! That is scary! (Both the feeder guy and the controlling guy) I am glad you found out before anything happened between you and either one!

 

One of my friends and I were talking about yesterday how it seems that there are less and less men with great integrity. Maybe men think that about women too, I don't know, but yes it does seem that integrity is not something many people have nowadays.

[Leeway Harris]

MarlyStar, that's insane! It's not too reassuring that somebody with personality problems like that rose to such a high level in our military! Although you did say most of the people you work with are great, maybe he was just the exception.

 

As for the Feeder guy, it sounds pretty gross, but apparently there are women who voluntarily go in for stuff like that. It's a marginal fetish, but it's a for real thing.

 

Probably if you had gone out with him, he'd have eventually said "Say, you wouldn't by any chance be interested in gaining about 400 lbs, would you? C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll bring you doughnuts and ice cream, we can have daily weigh-ins, and we can celebrate every ten pounds or so at the Old Country Buffet!" Yikes.

[Mrlonelyone]

@elaina

 

We live in times when integrity makes you a sucker and on forums like this the worst thing you can do is call someone "nice".

 

Anyone who claims to be halfway decent...is suspected of being a "creep".

 

Like someone else lamented... his Grandfather told him to "follow a girl home to find out where she lives. Then put on his sunday best, with a bunch of flowers, and go to her house to ask her out". Now someone who does that may just get arrested.

 

Last but not least we have these nifty communications devices we use to avoid actually talking to most anyone.

 

Is it any surprise that two genuine creeps like the ones Marly just dealt with could be camouflaged under so much noise?

 

From the sound of things this could make some headlines. Maybe at least then it will do a little to reset what a genuine creep looks and acts like. Usually well groomed, handsome, confident and attractive on the outside...but dark and devious on the inside. Too good to be true, not just plain decent.

 

I wonder what the feeder does once a woman is a SSBBW? Does he find another skinny woman and start over?

[elaina]

@elaina

 

We live in times when integrity makes you a sucker and on forums like this the worst thing you can do is call someone "nice".

 

Anyone who claims to be halfway decent...is suspected of being a "creep".

 

Is that because there have been too many cases where people thought someone was a good person, and then find out that the person was lying all along?

 

 

Like someone else lamented... his Grandfather told him to "follow a girl home to find out where she lives. Then put on his sunday best, with a bunch of flowers, and go to her house to ask her out". Now someone who does that may just get arrested.

Well, I would have to say if I didn't know the person beforehand and didn't "invite" the guy to pursue me, that would make me feel uncomfortable.

 

Last but not least we have these nifty communications devices we use to avoid actually talking to most anyone.

True

 

Is it any surprise that two genuine creeps like the ones Marly just dealt with could be camouflaged under so much noise?

No, but it's really sad that they are creeps. It's sad to hear when anyone is a creep.

 

From the sound of things this could make some headlines. Maybe at least then it will do a little to reset what a genuine creep looks and acts like. Usually well groomed, handsome, confident and attractive on the outside...but dark and devious on the inside. Too good to be true, not just plain decent.

Good point. Sometimes the outside is not a reflection of the soul/personality of the person. I learned early on that handsome didn't always mean a beautiful soul.

 

I wonder what the feeder does once a woman is a SSBBW? Does he find another skinny woman and start over?

I feel sad for women who get caught in that kind of thing. I'm not fat, but I am on a diet and striving to loose weight because I feel better when I'm at a specific weight. The guy I'm interested in is wanting to be my personal trainer and help me work out, which is sort of opposite than this feeding mentality. I like that because for me, I need encouragement and help in order to meet my goals. But, I can't imagine a lover wanting me to not be healthy. I do not consider that to be good, but rather mentally and physically disturbing.