KARENOH Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 i had been casually dating someone for about 2 months, and about 2 weeks ago on a date, he brought up a conversation about becoming serious. he expressed how much he liked me and felt like we had potential. since i had been feeling the same way about him, i was obviously really happy! the rest of our night was fantastic and i felt great, of course the next day telling all of my friends my exciting news. well since that night, he's clearly started to distance himself from me and i have no idea why. we've seen each other only twice since then, and while both times were fun, i can't help but feel like something is up... maybe it's women's intuition? who knows. the past 2 weekends, he's had trips planned (one with friends, the other with family) so i can't fault him for being away, but the fact that he makes no attempt to contact me while he's out of town, has me wondering what he's thinking. i know he isn't dating anyone else, so that's not even a possibility. i also know he's not just using me for sex becasue we've only done it once so far (our first time was after we had a talk about becoming serious) i've casually mentioned his behavior to him and asked if everything was ok, and he assured me that everything was fine and that he would make an effort to be better with me, and that he definitely was not looking to end what we had started... but now, i haven't seen him since wednesday (it's monday) and have only heard from him once. he also told me that it's been a while since he's dated anyone and is "bad at it", which i don't feel is a very good excuse... is the answer in front of my face, or is there any way i can fix this?
Nexus One Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 It's very likely that he means exactly what he says. You might think it's not a very good "excuse", but if he says he sucks at it, well then perhaps he does suck at it. You're trying to read between the lines of his actions and words, while it's very well possible there nothing to read there. While there are exceptions, most of the time most men mean exactly what they say, exactly the way it comes out of their mouths. In that regard most men are quite simple.
Author KARENOH Posted March 7, 2011 Author Posted March 7, 2011 thank you... i guess my confusion is why he says he wants to see me more often, and then seems to disappear for a few days... only return apologetic. it's just frustrating. i want to believe what he says, but words are just words unless you can follow them up with actions.
iJester Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 Do you ever contact him first? Was the first time you had sex, after this most recent talk about becoming serious or after an earlier talk(I couldn't really tell)?
Author KARENOH Posted March 7, 2011 Author Posted March 7, 2011 yes, i've contacted him first. when we first started dating, i let him do most of the contacting, now it seems like i'm doing it more and more. i haven't been annoying and often let a few days pass before i attempt to contact him again, if he says he's busy or out of town. yes, the first time we had sex was after our serious talk. we had a few other nights together at that point, but hadn't actually "gone all the way" i get the feeling he's confused or distancing himself, but it's just a strange situation... that he'd go so far as to bring up the talk with me about going from casual to more serious, and then seeming to back away from me. as i said, i brought it up last week, and he agreed that we needed to communicate more... and now i've barely heard from him and it's been almost a week.
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