Miss_G Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 I split with ex 6 months ago. I despeately want him back!! We have a child together therefore full NC is not a possibility. We have, however, never lost contact since splitting. There's always been close contact. For the first 4 months we continued to date, and we were 'working on our relationship'. We were intimate a couple of times in the first few weeks, kissed and cuddles, went on dates and even attended a friends birthday party together. Incidents happened that ruined things for us, we'd fall out, take a step backwards and then start again 'working on things'. Anyway, at Christmas he went quiet. I asked him to come and watch a film at my house which he said he would like to do but never followed it up. After a couple of weeks of silence I asked him what he wanted and he said he did not want to work on things anymore. He said he had heard about me and some bloke (who is a friend but does fancy me, and one of exes mates in a trouble maker and made the whole things sound far worse than it was...it was NOTHING! I don't even have said blokes number!!) Ex called things off completely and we had a quiet two weeks. There was then an incident between my mum and his dad which resulted in a slight assault by his dad but was enough for me to lose trust in him. He was banned from seeing the child until I had things solved. I told him he could ring whenever he liked and we would talk it over. He never did. In order for ex to see child we went out on family days for nearly a month. They were great, we had lots of fun and flirted greatly. Ex was on and off, not knowing what he wanted and then the next still wanting to be 'friends'. He said he didn't want a relationship AT ALL for the forseeable future. He is focussed on his career and I think that is occupying his head at the minute as he's doing well. I have now resolved things with his family and ex now has free custody of child without needing to go out. He said he wanted to continue going out 'as friends'. I said I wanted it to lead somewhere. He said he needed to think about it and would get back to me. Today he has asked to see child alone next week. I am going into LC (can't do NC because of baby). I am only seeing him when I really have to and speaking only about the child. I believe I have left with a better impression than I did when he first split with me. Initially, I left him after an arguement but wanted to get back a few hours later. He said he did not. He made a point of saying that he is sick of having to grovel and be a little coward all the time. My PND after having child was bad so I don't blame him for thinking I was a cow. His parents didn't help matters though and I was rude about them to ex. I believe I have shown him a better, more confident side to me since splitting and have started my career, something that caused a problem as I think he thought I wanted to live off him forever. I am hoping LC will make him come round but realise it was take time. What I wonder is, given our past and the length of our split, can it still work after half a year apart? I realise we have never cut contact but do you feel he will have gotten used to life without me and there chances of him coming back are none? I just want him back in my life. I feel physically sick and emotionally drained. I feel he has left a person he believed I was which I am truly not. I want to be able to show him how much I truly love him and how sorry I am for the way I have behaved but he refuses to let me. I just want him back so badly!!!!
Author Miss_G Posted March 7, 2011 Author Posted March 7, 2011 Anyone have any input??? Feeling low here
Don_da_Ho Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Sure. All you can do is be positive and happy with every interaction with him. Get a life and get busy. Do things and act like you're a good catch. Display happy positive energy and see if that brings him around at some point. When he sees your best side, he may slowly start to change his mind. Don't be a whiner and a nag. Good luck.
betterdeal Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 You need to be in a position where you're thinking "do I want him back? Is he suitable for me" rather than thinking, "what can I do to get him back?" To be in that position you have to be happy that you know yourself, your likes, dislikes, wants and needs, and are happy that you can stand up for those things yourself.
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