jane100 Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 (edited) I am wondering how. I have seen a few posts here with people dissatisfied with it and trying to change it (to a romantic/love relationship i guess). So, I am curious how it started or ended up as FWB... and I am also wanting to avoid , though I suppose if it was mutual and relaxed it could be happy , I am not sure. Edited March 7, 2011 by jane100
bac Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 I am wondering how. I have seen a few posts here with people dissatisfied with it and trying to change it (to a romantic/love relationship i guess). So, I am curious how it started or ended up as FWB... and I am also wanting to avoid , though I suppose if it was mutual and relaxed it could be happy , I am not sure. People are different. IMO some females have no choice because they are defective in some way so they are not capable to find a serious BF. Some females have personalities disorders or emotional disorders so they are not capable of emotional attachment. Some girls believe that ONS/FWBs might turn into a serious relationship.
Gypsy_Soul Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 People are different. IMO some females have no choice because they are defective in some way so they are not capable to find a serious BF. Some females have personalities disorders or emotional disorders so they are not capable of emotional attachment. Some girls believe that ONS/FWBs might turn into a serious relationship. I agree with this, but as for myself, the rare and few times I did fwb, I always just offered it up as what it was. "this is just for fun, nothing serious, of you can deal let's do this" Knowing this, the guys still ended up catching feelings and one even went as far as buying me an engagement ring bit I told him no, sorry, I told you what this was in the beginning. I guess younger people do it different. He was waaay too young.
SarcasticBlonde Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 People are different. IMO some females have no choice because they are defective in some way so they are not capable to find a serious BF. Some females have personalities disorders or emotional disorders so they are not capable of emotional attachment. Some girls believe that ONS/FWBs might turn into a serious relationship. This isn't true. Most women or men choose these relations because they don't want or have time for something serious. There are different situations where the man or woman may develop feelings for the fwb and sometimes it can work, or not. From what I understand, usually its the woman that develops feelings. Not to say that men never do. And I think that any person that says every fwb they had fell for them is a liar. Just sayin..
SmileFace Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 I was in a FB situation. We did not end up in it - that is all it was. We did not start off dating or as friends; it was merely sex. If females have a emotional disorder that leads them to these relationships, the same should be said for men. The reason I was in FB relationship was because I wanted gain some experience, was horny and wasn't in the proper situation to actually be dating. The reason my FB was in a FB relationship was because he was and still is in love with his ex and was horny. This relationship was what it was, we both went into it only seeking one thing. We are now good friends but are no longer together; only because I moved away. If we are both ever single again - who knows! However I am pretty sure I will never date him and think he feels the same about me. Which I am pretty ok with. No, he was not a business major ...
spackle Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 we were both single and looking for sex. After chatting for a while he wanted more and I backed off - we stopped talking. I got back in touch figured I wanted more and he backed off - we stopped talking. several months later he starts texting again he's in a relationship but wants to be friends go figure (I've posted a thread or two about aspects of this). all I can say for anyone thinking of going down this route is to be very clear about what you want, set some rules about contact etc because it can, and from what I've read from most people here, it's likely to get complicated.
CassaundraSwindlera Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 @OP: hey, thanks. Nice topic, i have been searching these info for ages.
lenny Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 I've been in FWB situations in the past that were very functional. Almost everytime it was with a guy I had dated way in the past. How do they get started - typically with a one night stand. Then after some period of time, another one night stand. After time two, they're booty calls. The way to keep them as FWB that don't get complicated - you only see them for that reason and see them infrequently.
daphne Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 I have no idea. I was looking for tips. I met a guy who was too young, but I loved being around him cos he was fun, funny, a hot model and sweet. I wanted my first FWB with him. He, however, wanted a gf and so it never got off the ground. Bugger. Mebbe next time I should lie?
fishtaco Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 Ask? I propositioned one of my friends about a year and a half ago. I like her, she's groovy and swell, but I can't see myself dating her. Not an insult, she's great, just not my type. She told me she hasn't dated and hasn't has sex for like a couple of years, so I offered my services. It didn't pan out because she wanted a relationship. So that was that. We stayed platonic friends because I'm not a douche. Later on, she starting dating some guy. They had lots of sex but nothing else. She asked me for advice, so I told her to give it a nudge in the direction she wants to go. She did, and the guy bailed. Looks like she ended up in a FWB anyway. Knowing that going from lots of sex to zero is a difficult transition, I mentioned that my offer still stands (yeah, I'm evil like that). But it didn't happen because I didn't really push for it. I don't bug people. I let them decide. Ok who am I kidding, I was too busy multi dating and so I didn't have time to pursue her for a FWB. But she's the passive type I think she has trouble approaching me even though I pretty much told her I just need a "let's go". I used to joke about if she buys me a drink then I'm obligated to put out. She did get me a drink last time, but we're friends and we're nice to each other all the time anyway. So not sure if that was her "signal". But it's too late anyway. I'm currently not multi dating. So no FWB unless my current attempt at an LTR goes down the drain.
AverageJoe Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 Here is how it has worked for me. I am straight forward and honest. I tell all women that I am going out with I am not looking for a relationship. However, we can talk and you are still welcome to come around if you like. Some do, some don't. It is really interesting the ones that stick around that think I am broken and can fix me. All the while knowing the truth up front.
Author jane100 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Posted March 8, 2011 (edited) It seems a little cold somehow ... the antithesis of romance ? As for myself, I have never been in a FWB situation unless 1. The man was - but I wasn't - and we weren't "friends" either by the way. 2. Extreme and restrictive circumstances, for one or both, in which case it fizzled out pretty darn quickly. Real relationships are difficult and take courage, vulnerability and a kind of purity/openness of heart and intention, no? But I am not judging anyone for doing it, I suppose it would make life simpler ... Edited March 8, 2011 by jane100
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 Some guys don't look the part of a FWB. Those types of guys would be seen as "creepy" if they asked a girl to enter a FWB situation. Hell, they're pretty much seen as creepy for even looking at a pretty girl.
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