jjhart Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 How do you treat an ex when mutual friends are involved. , let me start off by saying, i ranted and raved on here for a good 3 months after things ended. I blamed myself(and i deserved to, at least my part). And having an outlet, well, it helped. The regrets i had for the things i wish i had done differently in the relatioship ate me alive, and i brok NC, a few times in the weeks after things ended. Dumb. but everyone has to do dumb things to learn i guess... After things ended(and a few months of Love shack postings), i took stock of things, and starting thinking less about regrets, and what i need to do going forward. What am i bad at(meeting new people is hard). I joined leagues(softball, kickball(yes i said kickball, adult co-ed)), and i met a ton of people. the area i live in is fairly big, but the amount of younger people, well not as many of those people still getting out and doing things. So here is where it gets weird. My ex and i dated for a year and a half. I loved her very much. But that love blinded me badly, worse than ever before. I spent a year thinking my ex didnt have too many friends locally anymore(she grew up here), because she never talked about many of them, and i never met any. A mutual friend set us up, and i met people that my ex knew through that mutual friend, but no-one i could say my ex grew up with, went to school with(RED FLAG),etc. I had her meet most everyone in my life. I spent a year struggling with the fact that she was uncomfortable with me meeting her family(BIG RED FLAG). Other bigger red flag, her family should have been screaming to meet me....amazing what you will tell yourself when you are in love. Anyway, so i put myself out there to meet some people. Well, i met a great group of people, who alot of them turned out to be my exs friends. the whole league was out at a bar, she walks in and knows everyone in the room. I bolted. that was a while ago. These people could have cast me out so to speak, they didnt, my ex and i have many mutual friends now, but i didnt know any of these people when we were dating. They ask me about her and i dating, i answer all questions "we dated a year, things didnt work out" As soon as i say a year, i get a weird look.....i feel like she was hiding me from everyone. When i see her, i say hello, i say goodbye, and thats it. People say i should treat her like i am her long lost best friend and nothing is wrong. I cant do that. She makes comments to other poeple "I dont know why he wont talk to me" i want to tell all these people, ask them what the heck was going on. The problem is, if i say anything or explain how i met no one in her life, I look like a chump(which i was), and she looks weird in front of her friends(which she is weird). Who the heck dates someone for a year and hides it from friends and family. We spent almost every weekend together, and saw each other every other night of the week. She never once mentioned any of these people. Things just dont add up. We cant be friends, and she wasnt honest with me when we were dating completely(she would say "i have a hard time letting people in" I said not good enough..). How should i treat her? Her friends are good to me, but i think they wonder what was going on too.... I still feel for her..... but realize she will not return those feelings for me. taken me a while to realize that....
Recommended Posts