meandyou Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 Hello everyone. Basically, I was with my Boyfriend for 4 months, and he dumped me, over facebook, last week. We had an argument, mostly him shouting at me on Wednesday about how we spent so much time together and apparently I wrecked his relationships with his family because of us and he said that I am selfish and everything has to be about me, when I talk about my problems, he doesn't. He also said a lot of horrible things about me through out the course of the four months, mostly to do with my ocd and depression but always said he never meant to hurt me. He was always loving and kind. He has alot of pressure on him from his family, and he is changing jobs soon and someone in his family is ill. I do admit I was a bit clingy but I always gave him the choice to come round and he always said yes, he would. I sent him a text before the argument saying, take it your not staying tonight, see you when you can be bothered. I meant this as see you when I see you, kind of thing, but I honestly understand why he would of got upset about it. He came round and I said I'm really sorry, I didn't mean it to be that way and he understood and that text issue was sorted...until the argument we had an hour or so later.. He decided, after the argument we had to go on a no contact break. In the message dumping me he said he didn't love me any more and he tried, and that we are two different people. ( I found a note from him that he wrote before saying he loves me and we have so much in common) The strange thing is, all through out our relationship he was saying he wanted to marry me and he loves me etc, he also said it 2 days before we broke up. He said I was the love of his life and he really enjoyed spending time with me. He really was lovely, until the argument and it all went downhill. I have no idea what to do, He came round to get his stuff last Saturday and he said, sorry it didn't work out. I didn't cry, didn't beg or anything, just said ok, hugged him and went our ways. I then spoke to him on the Monday, and said Hi, how are you.. and he seemed Okay and chatted a bit ( This was over face book, I started the convo because he owed my Mum some money and I said to him don't worry about it.) After 5 minutes I said, I'm going now, take care, and he said okay, you too. I had my phone stolen tonight, so I made a new face book and was going to add him back.I thought I would look a bit stupid adding him back, plus I was doing so well not contacting him this week. Now, I deleted and blocked him off face book, and his whole family. His brother said I am still like a sister too him and his family always really liked him. I said to his Brother over an x box message, I have deleted my face book and if you want to still keep in touch add me on msn or I'll speak to you on here. I have no idea what to do. He said he wanted to stay friends..but I've blocked him off face book and said I deleted my account because all I would of done was look at his profile. He has my old phone number (the phone that got stolen) so now I'm thinking, what if he texts to that? Although I've blocked and blacklisted the phone... What if he thinks I hate him or something? What will he think about the Face book? I know it sounds petty, but I really miss him. I'd love to be friends or get back together with him. He was always for our relationship, when I said we need a break a few months ago he cried. Suddenly he snapped and changed, then dumped me over Face book. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do? Shall I forget about him and just keep him blocked on face book or get my new phone and text him saying its my new number? A week of No Contact really sucked and I know he said some horrible things to me and dumped me but now he has no way of contacting me because I blocked him and my phone was stolen. Then again I'm thinking, he dumped me, he doesn't want me in his life....
depplover_1980 Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 Right you need to embark on strict no contact with him and let him make a decision. Stop talking to his family in the hope it will persuade him to come back, as you were only with him 4 months so you are not a family member. Sorry to be so blunt with you here. It worries me that you want to be friends. This is a standard mistake when dumped because really you hope him having you around will change his mind, when it does the opposite. By having you around he still gets the emotional support off you, while he is free to **** who he wants. I am concerned as you have depression and ocd; based on my experience in these areas I do not think you should even be in a relationship. You need to take stock and look at your own life. Are you recieving therapy - you will need CBT for your ocd and person-centred counselling for why you're depressed and how to get your life together? As long as you're suffering from mental illness you will always be clingy and expect too much from a partner - another person will not suddenly make your life free of it's problems. Believe me when I say I have been to hell and back and I'm proof that you can get better and be happy.
Author meandyou Posted March 7, 2011 Author Posted March 7, 2011 Thank you for your help. I have blocked him on everything, msn, facebook, xbox and he cant text me as my phone has been stolen and blocked. But I guess he knows my email and where I live! Do you have any ideas on how long I shouldn't contact him for? I don't want to seem like a stalker! Thanks again
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