Jesper Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 I was out running errands with my bf today; we separated in a store and when I came up to him to see if he was ready to leave he was typing a really long text to his friend with the words "DON'T" "post" "Facebook" "her" "see" "Hailey" His friend responded something that started with "how was the" My bf sent another text that he had been typing prior to receiving the other text, then turned the screen off his phone and asked me to come back in 15 minutes because he wasn't ready to leave yet. When I came back my bf still had his phone out, and without any prompting volunteered that his friend (same friend I saw him texting a few minutes earlier) had texted him because the friend wanted to know the score of the game at the college my bf had gone to. My bf does not watch sports, and no one has ever asked him the score of a game. Not to mention that the fragment of super long text that my bf sent the other guy does not at all support my bf's statement. My bf doesn't know any Hailey that I am aware of, nor does his friend... I don't know why, but I am REALLY uneasy about this, and if I thought I could get 10 minutes alone with his phone I would definitely be fighting the urge to snoop, which I have never done or felt the urge to do. Can someone please talk some sense into me?
blackmagik Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 Sounds to me like you want it to be something like there is more underlining issues. Why dont you just ask him about it? Don't try to be a detective. Communication is more important than just trying to worry about yourself. Has he ever given you a reason not to trust him?
Author Jesper Posted March 7, 2011 Author Posted March 7, 2011 I think I blew my chance to ask him about it when I didn't do it at the time he mentioned his friend asking him about the game. My response should have been 'Really? It looked like you were texting him about Facebook?' or similar. Perhaps I'm being difficult or stubborn, but aside from that, it seems to me that either A) I got everything completely wrong and will look ridiculous and probably hurt his feelings or cause a fight by bringing it up so long after the fact or B) They were talking about something shady, so of course he would just lie to me, tell a half truth, go on the offensive instead of answering me, etc. He hasn't done anything really to make me not trust him, it's just that the whole situation, not exclusively the glimpse of text I saw, seemed off and made me feel uneasy.
blackmagik Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 You have never lost the opportunity to ask him. You have to communicate. Its the hard things that are the most difficult to communicate, but they are the most important topics you could have. Be upfront to him about your concerns. Don't do anything crazy like ask to see it or anything. If he doesn't be upfront, then there is something to worry about for more reasons then just the text
Alma Mobley Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 I know this is really frowned upon, but if I knew my SO was lying to me about a text on his phone, I would snoop. Asking leads to denying and then hiding the evidence.
blackmagik Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 snooping leads to distrust between people, which is not what you want. If you snoop it is bound for trouble either way. If my girlfriend snooped on my phone I would probably breakup with her. Especially since there is no prior trust issues.
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