How do i accept losing the girl i started falling in love with..

[seanmathews3]

I'll sum the relationship up quick; dated 5 months, no real problems at all, started falling in love, first love, 2 weeks ago broke up, reason "feelings not the same- not ready for relationship- wants to be friends". NC on and off, day 2 NC and planning on sticking to it...

 

My only problem is letting her go, moving on, and accepting the fact the we will never be together again.. i loved every single thing about this girl and we had such an amazing time together. i could easily see her in my future, she was basically my perfect other half. and like i said the relationship had no big problems and it hurts to think that we can easily be happy together but the only thing stopping that is whatever is going on in her head..

 

its just hard to see myself falling and feeling like that for someone else.. becuase this girl felt so right for me and it feels so right for us to be together.. i have a feeling if a relationship happened with someone else i would just compare it until it failed...

 

i dont see how i could just cut someone out and do NC and move on.. when that person is my first love, im still in love, and she was such a big and amazing part of my life.. and seeing her with someone else will just kill me and eat me to death on the inside..

 

im 20, i know im young but im mature and have plans with my life.. and i know when my feelings are so strong for someone

 

im just looking for reasons, advice, tips or pointers.. and other ways to look at this..

 

thanks for the help, because im sure at least everyone has gone through this.. and its the worst feeling ever :/

[Eddie Edirol]

Theres tons of ways to work on NC. its difficult to stay NC when you are thinking of the good times. Think of all of her flaws. Think of anything that bothered you about her. Things that you know you couldnt have changed.

 

Also think of it this way. Was she fresh off of a breakup when you first started dating? Do you think she might have used you as a rebound? Did she start dating someone else right away? Are you sure that she fell in love with you, or was it just from your side?

 

Did you take responsibility for things that you might have done to chip away at her attraction to you? were you a doormat? too nice? Smothering her? Jealous or possessive? All of the above? There are a ton of things you might have done that you cant see now, but will see months down the line.

 

Also know this, when a woman loses attraction to you, you dont get it back, its pretty much impossible. Women do not move backwards. When they break it off with you, they remember the things that killed their attraction to you, not how you might have improved. When you break up with them, its different. Women dont break it off with you until you look repulsive in their eyes. So there is no way she wi8ll give you another chance.

 

The only way she might look at you again is through competition. if she sees you snuggling around with a new girl, then to her that means that you are over her, and you have moved on with your life, and women cant take that right after they dumped you, because it means youre doing fine.