Disillusioned Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 Do you find them more interesting and adventurous than men who work for someone else, or do you find them self-absorbed, arrogant, and uninterested? I only ask because I had a long talk with my male friend yesterday... most of it was probably just pep talk, but at any rate I'm trying to get out of my daytime job and start being my own boss with publishing and woodworking. I just don't want to jump from the wage ship unless there's going to be a solid self-employment island beneath me. Believe me, I'd love to tell my boss to take this job and shove it.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 One of the coolest and most attractive features a person can have is the gumption to follow their passion, whatever that may be.
TurboGirl Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 Be it man or woman, following your passion can be exciting. I know people who have done it successfully and some not. You just have to keep on and not give up when it gets a little tough. A healthy savings account for a rainy day is a good idea, with about 6 months or more of $ to see you through to start. Sounds like you have a plan in mind, in terms of setting yourself up with a landing platform to start. One of my friends is about to quit her govt day job, she started her own biz part time and is doing pretty well. For a man it is a good thing too. I have another friend who is self employed, a real estate appraiser -- works when he chooses. But he has been in the biz many years now and has lots of work. The most important thing is that you are happy with what you are doing and of course making enough $ to live too.
Author Disillusioned Posted March 6, 2011 Author Posted March 6, 2011 But does that attraction still apply if a guy is a hit man who gets paid to shoot people? Or is a hit man included in the "bad boy" category?
january2011 Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 There could be schedule conflicts depending on the nature of his business and how much time he spends on it. If he's too busy for regular face-time and not able to maintain the connection in other ways, it could be a dealbreaker. The other potential issue is financial security.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 But does that attraction still apply if a guy is a hit man who gets paid to shoot people? Or is a hit man included in the "bad boy" category? Have you seen the movie "You Kill Me" with Ben Kingsley?
NoMagicBullet Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 There could be schedule conflicts depending on the nature of his business and how much time he spends on it. If he's too busy for regular face-time and not able to maintain the connection in other ways, it could be a dealbreaker. The other potential issue is financial security. Not being able to see someone because they are too busy with work is always a negative. Someone just starting on the self-employed route might have less time for dating & relationships for a while, but as long as one isn't permanently putting aside things for work, it should be alright. That regular face-time is essential. Financial security will be very important for a serious LTR, but even in the short term, I don't want a guy who needs me to pay his rent & utilities. I got involved with such a guy once and would never do it again. As long as you can take care of yourself financially, you should be fine. On the plus side, I think you'll feel happier doing what you love and that's attractive. And you might end up meeting a lot of new people in your work, too. I think I'm looking forward to your future already.
Author Disillusioned Posted March 8, 2011 Author Posted March 8, 2011 On the plus side, I think you'll feel happier doing what you love and that's attractive. And you might end up meeting a lot of new people in your work, too. I think I'm looking forward to your future already. The other side of the coin is that I might just as easily push them away if I don't like them much. You can't fire the self-employed...
I Really Dont Know Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Do you find them more interesting and adventurous than men who work for someone else, or do you find them self-absorbed, arrogant, and uninterested? I only ask because I had a long talk with my male friend yesterday... most of it was probably just pep talk, but at any rate I'm trying to get out of my daytime job and start being my own boss with publishing and woodworking. I just don't want to jump from the wage ship unless there's going to be a solid self-employment island beneath me. Believe me, I'd love to tell my boss to take this job and shove it. Hey dude, I'm on the westside too and thinking of doing the same. Only, I have no plan I just got fired. But... I hear you. Hmmm... do you happen to need a website?? Arggh.. I won't ask. But I was wishing I knew guys like you in real life who needed a site cause I build them. I'm looking on craiglist for things like this but... my plan is going downhill. But to answer your question, I was lucky to find a girl who stuck with me even after having no job. But, she doesn't question it. She thinks I know what I'm doing. I don't. If you have a "plan" you got a start. That's the biggest part.. U wanna know the secret? Girls really don't care what you do. They just "like" someone. BUT, if that person is always stressing.. that's the problem. Usually it's cause of money. WHERE that money comes from, they don't care. I mean, unless you're like setting up deals with Don Julio from Columbia and flying small aircraft into cuba or something... But, if it's legit.. they don't care. They just don't want you stressing and acting all stupid and losing that "fun" side they knew.
spiderowl Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 This is an interesting question. I know a few self-employed men, including my dad, and many are very enterprising, bright and charming. My only concern about some of the self-employed men I've found on dating sites is that it became obvious they couldn't have done anything else. They were eccentric or mavericks and would have struggled to fit in and work for anyone else. So, although it would be great to meet someone enterprising and talented (self-employed or otherwise), I'm not so keen on the idea of an unemployable maverick who is eccentric to the point of it being uncomfortable and embarassing.
Author Disillusioned Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 I'm not so keen on the idea of an unemployable maverick who is eccentric to the point of it being uncomfortable and embarassing. This is precisely one of the reasons why I decided not to becoma an inventor. Any woman who can put up with one of THOSE guys has the patience of a saint.
carhill Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 unemployable maverick who is eccentric to the point of it being uncomfortable and embarassing. Happily self-employed for ~25 years. Watching Bill and Steve and Steve and Steve grow Microsoft and Apple, respectively, was an inspiration. Many paths. Absent one, I've managed to fly below the radar of most women. Lucky me.
Cee Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 One my best friend's is 45 and self-employed. He is busy working at home a lot, but he makes himself available for socializing. As for dating, he puts himself out there via being involved in political and social activities. My friend is an off beat, super-intelligent man. And supremely confident in his abilities, which is important because he's pretty much flat broke. He loves not having a boss, but the work he does pays pitifully little. But that doesn't really matter because he's resourceful about picking up short-term work in manual labor, technical writing, and so forth. Also, he's dabbled a bit in real estate, which is good because the home he lives in is his main asset. If you have the confidence and a plethora of sale-able skills, go for it.
jean-luc sisko Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Why would women think anything special of them? If anything, it depends on the woman in question, it's relative.
Citizen Erased Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 I admire them. My BIL is one and he works harder than anyone I know. But then, when it's your own company, of course you would.
PinkGeraniums Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 I personally would find a self employed man more attractive. To be self-employed a man has to be driven, self-motivated and self-managing. Also involves being a good planner. They are also usually very decisive. They also usually feel fulfilled in their work life, so they don't need to prod in my areas of fulfillment and will leave me to it. They are generally hard working. These qualities in a man absolutely make me weak in the knees. I can't resist! On the other hand there are some self-employed "dreamers" who keep saying they are self employed and sleep all day.... those... erm those are lazy men.
dreamingoftigers Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 It's true.... We don't care what it is you do as long as you are nice to us (except for the stupider of us who like it better when you are mean.)
Eeyore79 Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Self employed men are generally very fulfilled in what they do, are hard workers, smart and ambitious, and probably have good career potential. Those attributes are very attractive in a man, and I certainly wouldn't have a problem with dating someone who was self employed. However some self employed men aren't ambitious hard workers who want to do well in life; they're self employed because it means they can do the absolute minimum to earn enough money to survive and then laze around the rest of the time. I once met a guy who did just enough freelance work to scrape by, and spent the rest of his time walking his dogs and stuff. I'm sure he enjoyed his lifestyle, but I didn't see any future with a man like that; he was obviously never going to earn a stable income which was sufficient to buy a house and raise a family.
butterfly2011 Posted April 1, 2011 Posted April 1, 2011 There could be schedule conflicts depending on the nature of his business and how much time he spends on it. If he's too busy for regular face-time and not able to maintain the connection in other ways, it could be a dealbreaker. The other potential issue is financial security. I agree cause it happened with me and my man of 2.5 years.... he is now more interested in what he has going on and has lost interest in me telling me I should find my own thing to do.... we have a family and now he has changed.
AD1980 Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 (edited) oops.......... Edited April 2, 2011 by AD1980
AD1980 Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 (edited) ......................... Edited April 2, 2011 by AD1980
SecondSummer Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Do you find them more interesting and adventurous than men who work for someone else, or do you find them self-absorbed, arrogant, and uninterested? I only ask because I had a long talk with my male friend yesterday... most of it was probably just pep talk, but at any rate I'm trying to get out of my daytime job and start being my own boss with publishing and woodworking. I just don't want to jump from the wage ship unless there's going to be a solid self-employment island beneath me. Believe me, I'd love to tell my boss to take this job and shove it. As a woman who married a man who has always been self-employed, I can tell you from 20+ yrs. of experience that there are pros and cons to choosing to be self-employed. There are inconsistencies in salary when self-employed...long hrs...stress of having employees, stessful IRS filings, and the possibiites of your business become more imp. than your family...Its hard to balance priorities when self-employed. My husband decided to be a solo lawyer rather than work in a firm. I knew it would be difficult on our family, but after 20 yrs. I wish he would had worked for a firm. The stresses it has caused us have NOT been worth it. He always wanted the possibility of making more money...(instead of dividing assests with other lawyers), and I feel he is married to his practice rather than me). He doesn't have a close relationship with his 3 chldren, ( I live like a single mother cause he's hardly around), he constantly has tax issues, client disputes, "feast or famine" months, no spare time for trips or fun, employee problems, etc, etc...If you want to be married to your business instead of to your wife, become self-employed!! No wonder so many attorneys are divorced!
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