Saphira Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 (edited) As you know from my other threads. I was dumped two days after v-day. We are both 19 year old college students. And it was a two year Relationship. The reason he gave me for breaking up with me was that he couldnt be with me while he was still working on him. that it wasnt fair to dragg me into a crappy life i didnt derserve because he doesnt have that time for me yet. ok so now its been about 2 weeks and we go NC for a few days and he will call, just a hi thing. and ill explain how hard it is for me, and how i cant go back to being his frined. (although the thought of not having him in my life at all feels unbarable. and yes i know we are young. just bare with me please :l ). NC will go a few more days and he will call again. However around 2am this morning he texted me about chicken salad. i said that he knows im picky and dont like chicken salad. he then said. Ik im sorry about texting you so late, and about salad. i just wanted to see your name pop up on my phone. I said, I like seeing yours too, i miss it. and he said he knew the feeling. he then sent me a picture of myself and told me that, it was his favorite picture of me. that it was his screen saver on his phone and he cant bare changing it. That he missed me but there is still alot on his mind. He was talking about the ring i bought him about a year ago. that he spins it from time to time and how much he cry's. (needless to say all this brought back emotions and i was cry texting myself lol) And then he ended it by saying. "no matter what happens next..I love you. I told him that IK he does. and i love him to. he asked me if i Promised. and i said "Always" and that was it. of course by now it was almost 3 in the morning and IK he works the night shift and doesnt get home till 1. so IK he went to sleep. But idk, Its like every time i try and rap my head around the fact that its over, he says something like this. and then that feeling of Hope returns. Like he will finally just tell me he wants me back. IDK i guess im more venting then asking for advice. idk. im so confused. Edited March 6, 2011 by Saphira
depplover_1980 Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 Saphira, what exactly IS on his mind??? Has he given you an explanation as to what it is he is struggling with here?
Author Saphira Posted March 6, 2011 Author Posted March 6, 2011 no, he said what he is struggling with he has to do on his own. he hasnt even talked to his family about it. He says he cant have any influences on his decisions and he asked me to respect that. as much as i want to know i also want to respect it. It has to do with were he is at in life. He doesnt like were he is i guess. He said he expected so much more out of himself and he knows that he cant figure his life out and give me the time i deserve. and that he doesnt want to dragg me into a life that i dont deserve. I asked him to tell me about everything. because i should have a say in the life im dragged into. But idk i just dont understand if he fills so strongly against the break up as i do, and misses and loves me the way i do for him. why he had to do it? i dont inderstand how i can be an influence on something i dont even know about. I just dont know why he feels he cant be with me while he does that. then again i dont know exactly what it is that is bothering him. he just keeps reassuring me that it has nothing to do with me. he just doesnt have time for our relationship while he is fixing him and that its not fare to me.
depplover_1980 Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 Right, it is time to be blunt with you. I asked because I wondered if he has anything specific to be 'working on' and well he doesn't. He actually doesn't care enough to share it with you, or simply these reasons don't exist. I think he is feeding you a load of bull****, your relationship is simply the thing he is mostly bored with at the moment so he is pretending he has lots of stuff going on as he doesn't want to hurt you with the truth. That is the same reason he tells you he is still into you etc because he hasn't got the balls to come right out with it. I suspect there is a big grass is greener pull and you detect some hesitatation - well because there will be some. What if he can't find anyone better than you? Maybe there won't be lots of hot girls all over him. But fact is he willing to take that risk. That Saphira tells you all you need to know and why you derserve much much better.
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