just_some_guy Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 My divorce is nearing settlement, a year after I moved out. All along, she has insisted that living in the house was the most important thing for her. It was workable, not easy on her salary, but entirely within reach to make it happen. Now, at the last minute, she's decided that she doesn't want the house and is moving out of state. The movers have packed her stuff and it is out. It sits empty. So now, I have to contemplate what to do with it. It is a nice house, nothing special. But it always felt like "hers" and not mine. I have to admit, I always felt like a guest there, not like it was home. Finding her in her suicide attempt a couple of months ago, is still affecting me. I find it difficult to be in the house without thinking about it. On the other hand, I know it is just a house, good as any other and in time, the bad will fade. Honestly, I don't know what to do with it. I've kind of settled into my rental. Economically, it would make sense to move back, but it isn't a requirement. I could sell it and financially, that would work out fine too. It has pretty good equity value, even in this market. I just don't know what to do. The twist and turns and complete reversals of direction are part of the failure of the relationship. I don't adapt well to chaotic changes in direction, especially at home and in personal life. I hadn't expected this. Thoughts?
rogue5099 Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 I'm new here just joined today to post a problem I'm having. I am in no real shape to answer relationship advice but this seems like a case where you need to do what is best for you. If you feel as though you don't belong at "home" then it's not home. I go with whatever makes you comferatable. It seems like you feel fine and you planned on staying at your rental in the first place. Don't make that chaotic change stick with your game plan. Now that the house is empty I say remove it from the equation.
Duckduckgoose Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 Sell it, and don't drive by it anymore once it's sold.
Woggle Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 If it costs less than paying rent or getting another house decorate it so that the house is all yours. Leave your imprint all over it. My ex forced me into buying the house we have now and after our divorce I remodeled it and it was one of the most therapeutic things I ever did. I now love this house. Build something of your own from the ashes.
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