Layzie89 Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 And to top it off, "Im mad you hung out with a girl, so im going to hook up with another guy." Really? Always easier said then done but you need to go NC, and not the im waiting to hear back NC, i dont want this in my life NC. I've made the mistake of taking back my ex after she's cheated on me multiple times...only for it to happen again. Lesson learned. Now I know your ex didn't cheat on you...but take a step back and look at how she handles things immediately after the breakup. She went and hooked up with some dude just to get back at you...and had the audacity to tell you out of spite. This isn;'t the kind of girl you want to be with man, I know you love her. I love my ex despite all the hurt shes caused me, but at some point we have to draw the line you know? Go NC, don't be hoping that maybe she'll contact you in two-three weeks or so because you're only setting yourself up for further disappointment. Just work on yourself show her that you don't need her and you're fine without her. Eventually she'll come down from the initial high of her new relationship and who knows...maybe the nostalgia will set in. If not, by then at least you'll be healed enough to move on with your life.
Author AlexDP Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 I'm 22, she's 18. And yes, it is high school stuff if you look at it. Which to be honest surprises me a lot, because she always struck me as a very mature person. She also seems less than enthusiastic about her new boyfriend. Hasn't really told anything to our mutual friends and doesn't post anything about him on facebook (I didn't ask, people told me, I'm on a don't ask, don't tell policy now )
Author AlexDP Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 I know you guys advise against thinking about it and I'm not even sure what I would do if it happened, but do you guys think she might come back?
Chi townD Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Nope! (I might get bashed for this but...) Women are very stubborn creatures. Once they decide it's over, then its over. Not much you can do to change their minds. Even if they're wrong and her current relationship doesn't last. Rarely will they ever come back. Because, it would be admitting that they were wrong on something they thought was right. My suggestion, move on. Hell, she's only 18...she can't even get into the clubs yet. If she wants to play stupid games, let her. Just don't play them yourself.
Author AlexDP Posted March 9, 2011 Author Posted March 9, 2011 She already proved she's not that stubborn though. We were broken up before and she told me she had decided we would never get back together.
Saphira Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 My suggestion, move on. Hell, she's only 18...she can't even get into the clubs yet. If she wants to play stupid games, let her. Just don't play them yourself. technically she can get into most clubs! she just has to wear that little bracelet saying she is too young for alcohol! :lmao: And think, you are young. there is time to move on. even if your not ready to think about it. She is young. which means she can move on alot quicker too. Woman can be stubborn lol but so can men! hahaha but at 18 a girl and even a guy can move from relationship to relationship pretty quickly. She is young enough to know that it is not the end of her life. I would start thinking about the moving on option. even though it hurts (trust me im trying to do that myself). She may in fact be done with you. Thats how life is. One day someone can love you and the next be on to someone else. even if thats not what you want to hear.
Author AlexDP Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 technically she can get into most clubs! she just has to wear that little bracelet saying she is too young for alcohol! :lmao: And think, you are young. there is time to move on. even if your not ready to think about it. She is young. which means she can move on alot quicker too. Woman can be stubborn lol but so can men! hahaha but at 18 a girl and even a guy can move from relationship to relationship pretty quickly. She is young enough to know that it is not the end of her life. I would start thinking about the moving on option. even though it hurts (trust me im trying to do that myself). She may in fact be done with you. Thats how life is. One day someone can love you and the next be on to someone else. even if thats not what you want to hear. I know and I've considered this. Only she hasn't mentioned her new boyfriend to any of our mutual friends and apparently hasn't posted anything about him on her wall. Which is what she used to do all the time when she was with me. As for it not being the end of her life.. Well, she does know this, I am sure, but what about all of her sadness and hate aimed at me? Also, she has remained in touch with all of her other exes before me, so I don't quite understand why she has blocked me from all social media.
Saphira Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 IDK, but right now i think it may be best to give her space and take some time yourself. I understand that is not what you want to do. (in my situation i don't ither) but sometimes it is the only thing you can do in order to make things better. Give her time to figure out what she wants. and who she wants.
Author AlexDP Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 IDK, but right now i think it may be best to give her space and take some time yourself. I understand that is not what you want to do. (in my situation i don't ither) but sometimes it is the only thing you can do in order to make things better. Give her time to figure out what she wants. and who she wants. No. It is what I want to do. It's hard, but it is what I want to do. The way I see it I've reached out to her with the letter. And I reached out to her big time. I know I've tried reaching her A LOT before that letter as well, but I never begged for her to come back. I pleaded my case, but that was only because I felt there were some serious issues that needed pleading. Such as me not telling my parents about her. After the letter though I've been NC for two days and I intend to keep it that way. I set myself short term goals and I'm glad if I make them. My next goal is Saturday evening. But of course I hope I'm able not to contact her at all unless she contacts me. I also need this time for myself to decide whether I want to pursue this or not. I'm fairly succesful with women (do not ask me why, I don't know) and I would be able to score other dates. Then again I really love this girl. And not just as a lover, but as a friend as well. Perhaps I could do that come to think of it. Imagine she doesn't contact me. You guys think I could contact her in a few months on a friendly basis? I can't stand it that she's mad at me and I can't stand the fact that her family now hates me.
Saphira Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 well i think after some time. yes maybe you can see if she wants to be friends you. Im glad your going to give it time. your doing better then i am lol. And yes you have reached out. and maybe she will reach back. all in time xD
Author AlexDP Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 I honestly doubt she's over me though.. it doesn't make sense. The night I went out with this other girl she told me she was going to flirt with a 100 guys to get over me. Then she spends a week sick in bed and finds herself a new boyfriend. Someone she doesn't post anything about on fb and there are no pictures backing her up. I think she's not particularly proud of the guy. Also the way in which she blocked me, all the hate, all the anger.. I think I'm being confronted with a very very insecure person who needs time to think things through and realise that we both love each other. That perhaps we are not right for each other at this point (given the fact I'm older and do attract a lot of women she's always going to be jealous), but that we don't want to lose each other either and that we could either end up good friends or work things out in the future.
Saphira Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 yep, and the best way is to take that time and do some thinking yourself. =] atleast you made the effort and tryed.
Author AlexDP Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 I feel my situation here might be slightly different than those of most though. I'm genuinely interested in being just friends as well. I realise that today we're both not up to that. I know she's with another man now, but the entire reason all of this happened was because she got so mad when I went out with another girl anyway. As for me, I'm growing to accept her new boyfriend, but I'm not there yet. I guess I sort of have several possibilities, but they all include no contact for now. Today I still want her as my girlfriend. I'm confident we both love each other, but the only way I could get her back is keeping quiet now. After all, I don't want to be her bitch if she comes back anyway. The friends option includes no contact as well. She's just too angry right now and we both couldn't stand to see each other with different people. But I do want to be her friend and I don't really know how I could get her to talk to me again. The third possibility is brutal and involves us never speaking to each other again. I'm still horrified by that to be honest.
Author AlexDP Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 (edited) My story feels so different than most.. It has been almost four weeks and she's been seeing another guy for three of those, but somehow there are so many things that don't add up. She didn't leave me for him, that I am sure of. I'm also in a difficult place right now, because her main reason for cutting contact is that she thought I didn't love her. She also told me that if I was honest with myself I would realise I couldn't love her and that I could do better than her. So yeah. Pretty bummed about what I could do. NC looks great as I'm giving her space, but will it make her believe I loved her? EDIT: also I never said this in the thread, but when she started insulting me that Saturday I had gone out, I accused her of not loving me anymore. That's when she really broke down and told me that she had always loved me, but that I had hurt her so deeply (she thinks something happened with the girl). Edited March 11, 2011 by AlexDP
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