Darinho Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 im not sure if this should go in this section, because im not actually in a long term relationship. But i have met someone i really like who lives really far away from me and i know she likes me too. I met her online and it was just pure random really. i never set out to meet anyone this way and since we started chatting we have really hit it off. we chat almost every day now and every now and then we talk over video call. she is a really beautiful woman as well i must add. Ive always felt like she is out of my league and i have even said this to her, and she always says how looks do nothing for her and that the main things for her are attributes such as intelligence for example. But as i said we arent in a relationship and she hinted before that maybe we could be, and as much as i would love to be her boyfriend, i dont think its fair that we say we are, until we have met. i just dont think being boyfriend and girlfriend over the internet is a very fair arrangement because its suggest that when you meet a person that you are automatically in a relationship and also, i dont want to hold her back if she meets someone nice from where she lives, even though she says she doesnt like men from there. anyway, that leads me to my problem and its something that really gets me down. i have really grown to like this woman alot and i would love to be in a relationship with her but im so afraid that if we meet in person sometime, that ill look different to her and she wont like me. i have showed her several photos of me which i look nice in. i have loads of photos which i took myself with a digital camera or phone camera, on my laptop which im happy with and ive even asked my sister if thats how other people would see me and she says yea and thinks its weird i ask this. ive also recorded videos of myself, which again im happy with how i look in them. also, as i said, i have spoken to her on video call and she has seen me on webcam a lot of times and she compliments me from time to time about how i look. also, growing up, i know that a couple of girls liked me even though ive never been in a proper relationship. i have received compliments in the past about how i look. just recently, my sisters friends told her she thought i was good looking after i met her. but then i see a couple of photos of myself, which were taken by other people and i look awful in them.My graduation photos which were taken by a professional look nice but there are other ones taken of me and i look terrible, like a completely different person. When i think of or see these photos, i wonder if thats how people really see me and the others, video and webcam is flattering me. now, this might come across as being vain but it isnt that. im genuinely worried that if i ever meet this woman, ill look like something completely different to what she sees in my photos and on webcam. i guess what it boils down to is i dont really know what i look like and how other people see me. its really gets me down, because i dont want to deceive her or anything like that. I just wish that if we did meet she would still like me.
HeavenOrHell Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 This woman doesn't sound shallow, so is unlikely to not want to take things further with you just based on looks, if she likes your personality she will like your looks too. She's also seen you on webcam, so she knows what you look like, unless you were sitting in the dark We all have photos which don't flatter us, I can usually tell which photos of me give a true picture by looking in the mirror Just give her pics which look the most like you, ask friends which ones if need be, if you're not sure. Doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about, you've been complimented on how you look. I did wonder if my partner would look like his pics when I met him IRL and hoped I'd look like mine, ie not look worse than my pics, he actually looked like all his pics rolled into one, which was nice Neither of us like our own looks much tbh, but I like his and he likes mine
Foxinsocks Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 im not sure if this should go in this section, because im not actually in a long term relationship. But i have met someone i really like who lives really far away from me and i know she likes me too. I met her online and it was just pure random really. i never set out to meet anyone this way and since we started chatting we have really hit it off. we chat almost every day now and every now and then we talk over video call. she is a really beautiful woman as well i must add. Ive always felt like she is out of my league and i have even said this to her, and she always says how looks do nothing for her and that the main things for her are attributes such as intelligence for example. But as i said we arent in a relationship and she hinted before that maybe we could be, and as much as i would love to be her boyfriend, i dont think its fair that we say we are, until we have met. i just dont think being boyfriend and girlfriend over the internet is a very fair arrangement because its suggest that when you meet a person that you are automatically in a relationship and also, i dont want to hold her back if she meets someone nice from where she lives, even though she says she doesnt like men from there. anyway, that leads me to my problem and its something that really gets me down. i have really grown to like this woman alot and i would love to be in a relationship with her but im so afraid that if we meet in person sometime, that ill look different to her and she wont like me. i have showed her several photos of me which i look nice in. i have loads of photos which i took myself with a digital camera or phone camera, on my laptop which im happy with and ive even asked my sister if thats how other people would see me and she says yea and thinks its weird i ask this. ive also recorded videos of myself, which again im happy with how i look in them. also, as i said, i have spoken to her on video call and she has seen me on webcam a lot of times and she compliments me from time to time about how i look. also, growing up, i know that a couple of girls liked me even though ive never been in a proper relationship. i have received compliments in the past about how i look. just recently, my sisters friends told her she thought i was good looking after i met her. but then i see a couple of photos of myself, which were taken by other people and i look awful in them.My graduation photos which were taken by a professional look nice but there are other ones taken of me and i look terrible, like a completely different person. When i think of or see these photos, i wonder if thats how people really see me and the others, video and webcam is flattering me. now, this might come across as being vain but it isnt that. im genuinely worried that if i ever meet this woman, ill look like something completely different to what she sees in my photos and on webcam. i guess what it boils down to is i dont really know what i look like and how other people see me. its really gets me down, because i dont want to deceive her or anything like that. I just wish that if we did meet she would still like me. I'm not sure anyone can help you with this because the problem is in your perception of yourself. You have had various people look at your photos and videos and tell you how they see you but the only person who can reassure you (in your mind) is the lady in question beacuse you have build her up to be this amazing person who is out of your league. (not healthy btw) She has seen you on the webcam and in photos and so you need to try to relax, be kind to yourself and if you want to meet her then do. If after all the communication she doesn't like you when you meet in person then she isn't worthy of you. Build on your self esteem (if you have any great ideas on how to do that please share them with me, mine is MIA) oh also, we ALL take good and bad photos!!
Author Darinho Posted March 5, 2011 Author Posted March 5, 2011 This woman doesn't sound shallow, so is unlikely to not want to take things further with you just based on looks, if she likes your personality she will like your looks too. She's also seen you on webcam, so she knows what you look like, unless you were sitting in the dark We all have photos which don't flatter us, I can usually tell which photos of me give a true picture by looking in the mirror Just give her pics which look the most like you, ask friends which ones if need be, if you're not sure. Doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about, you've been complimented on how you look. I did wonder if my partner would look like his pics when I met him IRL and hoped I'd look like mine, ie not look worse than my pics, he actually looked like all his pics rolled into one, which was nice Neither of us like our own looks much tbh, but I like his and he likes mine no she isnt and its something she always stresses that looks dont really do much for her. yea she has seen me on webcam in all different types of lighting really. but then i wonder if the webcam is an accurate depiction of me or is it flattering me when she sees me on webcam, she always says i look cute. The thing is, thats how i have always perceived myself. ive always thought that the way i look in the mirror is how i appear to people and the photos i take myself all look like i do in the mirror or close to that whereas some of these other photos, i look like a completely different person so i wonder which is more accurate and how she would see me if we met. i have asked my sister if the ones i took myself look like me and she says yes and thinks im weird for even asking. i have shown this woman these photos thinking thats how i look, but then i see some of the other photos and i start to doubt. i mean there is a big contrast between some of these photos.
sniffys Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 take it from me darinho, if she loves you she could care less about how u look and im pretty sure ure a dish. take my word for it.. just go for it .
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