angielove Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 I've been single for more than 3 years now. When I look back at my past relationships, the fondest memory is the feeling of belonging to someone (nothing suss/S&M lol). I can't really describe the feeling. If whoever I was dating and I were going to a bar/club, for example, I would get really dressed up. I would love that guys would look at me but then see me go up to my boyfriend and kiss him. Everyone would see I belonged to him. I felt like I belonged to him. Hahaha oh man I just realised how crazy I must sound. Does anyone else understand what I mean?
Feelin Frisky Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 I'm not sure I know exactly what you mean to the letter but generally so. I myself don't care as much about appearing all handsome in a bar or something and then convince myself that women are somehow disappointed when my g/f or wife or date shows up and we have a hello kiss. Although I can put on a good appearance I've never felt reason to think anyone was noticing me that way at all. Maybe that's a chick thing which is probably true--a beautiful female alone is bound to draw attention. But I ID with you about wanting the sense of "belonging". I know you didn't mean in the material sense of being someone's possession but the sense of knowing that your worthy enough for someone else to want you as their other half. The longer we're single, especially after having been in a hopeful relationship, the more little doubts creep in about why we're not included among the "valued".
Sabali Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 I've been single for more than 3 years now. When I look back at my past relationships, the fondest memory is the feeling of belonging to someone You belong to me now! You don't need to get dressed.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 I'd want to belong to someone, too. Except I'm male. And you have more experience than me.
LittleTiger Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 I think this is perfectly normal. Everybody wants to 'belong' - it's human nature. Being single when all your friends are paired off is like being the unpopular kid in the playground who feels left out of all the games. It's all about security - there is safety in numbers for social creatures like humans. In days gone by, when out on our own in the wild we were more vulnerable to predators, so we lived in groups. What you felt with your boyfriend is similar to the way you probably felt when out with your parents as a child. In a world full of hostile strangers you 'belonged' to them. As an adult you no longer 'belong' with your parents so you look for a partner and family of your own in order to get that feeling of 'belonging'.
spackle Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 I do know what you mean, it's like you have a place and the pressure is off.
Duckduckgoose Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 It makes perfect sense. Its having that person to go back to when its all over with, having the fun with your friends then the security of your bf when you are finished at the bar. Beats the hell out of going to an empty apartment.
Intricategirl Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 I've been feeling this really acutely lately. My mom is extremely sick, and doctors have told us there isn't a lot left that they can do. And just the knowledge that I'm going to go through this alone hurts. I know I can do it, but it helps a lot to have someone TELL you you can do it. And I have some great friends, but it's not the same.
Anela Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 I've been feeling this really acutely lately. My mom is extremely sick, and doctors have told us there isn't a lot left that they can do. And just the knowledge that I'm going to go through this alone hurts. I know I can do it, but it helps a lot to have someone TELL you you can do it. And I have some great friends, but it's not the same. ♥ I've been feeling this acutely for a while now, as well as being confronted by the fact that my parents are getting older, and I'm going to be in a similar position. I have my sister, but she has her boyfriend, as well.
Intricategirl Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 ♥ I've been feeling this acutely for a while now, as well as being confronted by the fact that my parents are getting older, and I'm going to be in a similar position. I have my sister, but she has her boyfriend, as well. Well, and that's part 2. My sister is currently my babysitter. She already has been talking about moving back to Texas after mom passes. My ex-husband doesn't live anywhere close, so there's nobody to watch the kids while I go out. So not only do I feel alone, but like I'm going to be for a while to come. Without a significant other, without family, and no way to really start changing that. And I know that's not exactly true. But sometimes it feels really alone.
somedude81 Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 Welcome to the club... Our next meeting is Tuesday, bring a dessert. The song of the evening will be Simple Plan - How Could This Happen To Me.
USMCHokie Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 The song of the evening will be Simple Plan - How Could This Happen To Me. It's actually called Untitled... But I digress...
SmileFace Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 Welcome to the club... Our next meeting is Tuesday, bring a dessert. The song of the evening will be Simple Plan - How Could This Happen To Me. I am bringing Brownies and they aren't brownies unless they are green... lol I just wanted to say that.
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