turokturok5 Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 (edited) After she broke up with me after 2 months, the next morning i sent her a message telling her how i felt, how i know where i went wrong and how i hoped we could fix things, it was pretty desperate but this was her reply. "hey, thankyou for everything..everything that you said and ofcourse i want to be good friends with you, you are the sweetest guy i have ever met and thats why i really liked you. We had some really great times and dont think that i just remember the bad times and what happened. obviously my message can never outdo yours because it is so beautiful but i hope you know that i was really happy and i think that with everything that happened i just saw things differently after and its deffinately not your fault, it just didnt work for me. i hope that everything is ok when we meet and i know it will take time, but i really want to still be friends. i realise how you feel and i feel horrible i really do but i think its better like this. we will have to make the gang stay together!!! :P" While she was dumping me and in the message she really emphasised that she wanted to be friends still. I went to her house the next day, with her permission and poured my heart out telling her how i feel and that i was truly sorry, she said pretty much the same. It's been a month, despite the fact she said she really wanted to be friends with me she hasn't tried contacting me at all. She found out i deleted her off facebook after 2 weeks, but that was because i re-added her again, so i guess she hadn't really been thinking about me too much and despite what her friend was saying "she was still cut up over the break-up, she couldn't get me out of her head" she must have moved on. I thought long and hard about our relationship and we hardly had any faults. I made the mistake of visting her facebook profile and noticed that she had been talking to a guy she met at uni, it kind of upset me but it was my fault. I looked back another message she sent me a week befor we broke up and she said she wanted to sort things out. I think i posted about it before, on a saturday night when there was a big mis-understanding which was created by one of the girls, where us guys ended up getting ditched and it created tension amongst our "gang" she never forgave me for it i guess, but the other couple got over it easily despite the fact that my friend made his girlfriend cry 4 times. Im just thinking after i looked back at the message. She said "with everything that happened i just felt differently after" thats whats really getting to me, im still the exact same person as before, i want to show her this but i don't know how, but the whole mention of really wanting to be friends, does that mean i've already been placed in the friend zone, is there no hope? I feel like its day 1 again since i looked at this stupid message.. Edited March 5, 2011 by turokturok5
willpower Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 First of all well done for finding the strength to post. You wont want to believe this but its over, for now at least but probably forever. She has been kind to you and told you that it wasnt working for her, its hard as hell but you need to accept this. You cant change her mind. You'll need to meet her in the future as a new person to make it work. It sounds to me like she has a new guy on the table (simply becuase she appears to have moved on with no contact after the break and also the tone of the message she sent you - it had little real emotion towards you, I got a very similar one and with the 'almost 5 months' that have now passed I can see what it meant). read this if you want a good rule for interpreting things: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t267713/ She has not contacted you because there is nothing to say, in reality how would freinds work? Would you habg out and watch films together? Not a chance in hell. You cant be freinds in the traditional sense, at least for now becuase you have feelings. Neither of you actually wants that, it will jsut mean when you pass you say hi and dont bitch to other people about them. Thats pretty much as good as freinds gets post break up, more like an amicable parting. It's over. You have to move on. Its hard, but you have to.
TaraMaiden Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 I hate to ask this, but for how much longer are you going to keep poking your eyes with hot needles, and passing razor wire down one nostril to the other? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/search.php?searchid=15671785 (7 threads in one day (February 20th), and again multiple threads on other days.....) Because by continually going over this, re-living, and reminding yourself of all this crap, you're just ripping the stitches out and tearing your wound apart, yourself. over, and over and over again. Really, you have to stop. It's getting like people are buying popcorn and bagging ringside seats. Stop lather-rinse-repeating and make a concerted effort to really move on, and stop dwelling on her. Every time you ask questions like this, you give your power away, and if you're not careful, you'll become pathetic. And if there's one thing a woman cannot abide, it's a pathetic ex-....
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