fail Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 I can't edit my original post after this long so I am starting over. I think I am finally ready to seek some input. The long and short, I have been in a relationship for 10+ years. We are technically engaged, but you know after a handful of years it doesn't really count. That's not meant to cheapen anything about the relationship, but more of a sign. I haven't been happy for a few years, and she, well she hasn't been entirely happy in the past. She really does love me. I do still love her, but it's not the same type of love. More like the love you have for best friends and family. The tough situation comes in with another woman. I haven't been unfaithful in the sense of dating or anything physical. I'm not even sure if this other person considers me anything more than a friend. I'm fairly certain that my near future involves ending this relationship with my partner and going solo. Of course, my big problem, is this other woman. We really connected unexpectedly at many levels. We are still getting to know each other as friends. I am an ass in that I find myself thinking about her all the time and we talk practically daily. We used to work together, for a few years, but really only got to be friend recently. I knew there was a problem when I quit my job and the biggest fear was not seeing this person each day again. I didn't even know those feelings were there. I have been trying to not complicate things. There hasn't really been anytime that I have been alone with this other woman which is a good thing I suppose. I'm not so worried about ending up by myself, I just feel terrible about the thought of breaking my partners heart. Although, I suspect by now she knows things aren't great and has had some concerns about my commitment and fidelity. I have never ever cheated on her. I guess one could argue I am emotionally. Relevant or not, I think this relationship I am in has lasted so long due to some life situations in which she was there for me and I felt indebted to her. It's also of note we only held off marriage temporarily because of these life situations to ensure financial protection. However after so many years the excuses on both sides continue on why we haven't married. I am just lost, it's funny because everyone comes to me to solve all their problems and I can usually handle my own. I find a lot of difficulty in this one because when I try to straighten things out I find myself still thinking about the other woman and realizing it's really time to move on. Plus I feel like it's not fair to my partner to keep stringing us along if I am not really in the relationship. If this other woman does have some feelings beyond friendship that is hard as well. I don't want to be the guy playing both sides and hurting people all around. I've just not been in this situation before and it's been a long time since I have been single or even thought about anyone else. For what it' worth it's not like I am thinking about wanting to have sex with this other woman, it' the connection we have that wont let go of me. So fire away, good, bad, whatever. I guess I just need to hear some other input. Maybe there isn't anything.
Author fail Posted April 13, 2011 Author Posted April 13, 2011 Well I certainly didn't see that coming. I'll tell you all one thing. Relationships at any level can become complicated with a snap of the fingers. It's so stupid. Enjoy the bunny:
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