seanmathews3 Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 We broke up almost 2 weeks ago, dated 5 months and was falling in love (first love) and reason for breaking up was "feelings plateaued" and she isnt looking for a relationship right now.. we are still friends on facebook and i have been taking pics of us off daily.. but she still has a handfull up, we havent been talking at all, its been no contact for a few days at a time, but i wanna start no contact for good till she realizes what its like with me out of the picture.. and she'll either hate it or like it.. whats a mature way to tell her we should not be fb friends until we are completely moved on and over the past and ready to start over as friends.. kuz thats the only way i see it as happening.. i like the connection through fb but i feel myself checking her profile 5 times a day and it messes with my head when i read other guys comments.. i feel that no being friends will help us both move on.. or at least me.. im not sure if thats the same for her..
GreenPolicy Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 I would say don't say anything at all. But sometimes it's therapeutic to say whatever you feel like needs to be said before you go NC. Just make sure you don't beg, whine, plead or grovel to get back together. Be dignified. Don't be hateful or spiteful, and above all else don't beg her to take you back, promise to change, etc. If you have to tell her anything, just tell her what she meant to you and that you would like to try and work on things, but if she doesn't feel the same way, then you can't stay friends and you can't stay in touch. And make sure you stick to it. If you keep breaking NC after that, it just shows her you're weak and she can have you back whenever she wants.
depplover_1980 Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Sean Matthews, what a mature and natural conclusion you have already reached and you are correct in saying you need a clean break. The easiest way is to simply remove her from your friends list, you DO NOT need permission for this and she gave up all rights when she ended the relationship. Let her know with a simple email if that is what you need, otherwise just do it and stop talking to her. Take away all friendship and force her to see what she's missing. I am slightly dubious to her motives for breaking up. Had you stopped making an effort with her perhaps? Do you think there is anyone else involved?
GreenPolicy Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 I would say don't say anything at all. But sometimes it's therapeutic to say whatever you feel like needs to be said before you go NC. Just make sure you don't beg, whine, plead or grovel to get back together. Be dignified. Don't be hateful or spiteful, and above all else don't beg her to take you back, promise to change, etc. If you have to tell her anything, just tell her what she meant to you and that you would like to try and work on things, but if she doesn't feel the same way, then you can't stay friends and you can't stay in touch. Keep it relatively short and don't write a novel. And after you tell her this, make sure you stick to NC no matter what. NC means not contacting her, not seeking out information about her through friends/family, defriending her on social networking sites and not looking up information about her online. If you keep breaking NC after that, it just shows her you're weak and she can have you back whenever she wants.
depplover_1980 Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 (edited) Yes, I would say literally say you've removed her from Facebook and you won't be available to communicate with her anymore as you're moving forward with your life. Sound positive and determined - really give her something to think about! Edited March 5, 2011 by depplover_1980
Saphira Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 i agree. the best thing to do is unfriend her. She doesnt have to know. One day she will be on and maybe go to see your page and notice that you did so. It will ither be a huge wake up call, or she wont care at all. If she doesnt care then she wasnt the right girl for you and you dont need to waste your time. If it is a huge wake up call. then you will get a call, text, email ect. But if unfriending her is what you want to do. you dont need a polite conversation. just do it.
snug.bunny Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 We broke up almost 2 weeks ago, dated 5 months and was falling in love (first love) and reason for breaking up was "feelings plateaued" and she isnt looking for a relationship right now.. we are still friends on facebook and i have been taking pics of us off daily.. but she still has a handfull up, we havent been talking at all, its been no contact for a few days at a time, but i wanna start no contact for good till she realizes what its like with me out of the picture.. and she'll either hate it or like it.. whats a mature way to tell her we should not be fb friends until we are completely moved on and over the past and ready to start over as friends.. kuz thats the only way i see it as happening.. i like the connection through fb but i feel myself checking her profile 5 times a day and it messes with my head when i read other guys comments.. i feel that no being friends will help us both move on.. or at least me.. im not sure if thats the same for her.. I don't think you need to say anything. She said enough for the both of you, when she said she didn't want a relationship with you. Don't remove her from your "life" (FB) because you want to get a reaction, but rather to protect yourself, help yourself move on and not be reminded of her.
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