Ross PK Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 (edited) Are you supposed to not know and it just happens naturally on it's own, or what? I know obviously you're supposed to go out, and talk to women, maybe ask some of them on a date, but how do you go from there to having sex with them or being boyfriend and girlfriend? I'm just thinking, could it be that the reason why I can't get a woman be down to me just not knowing what you're supposed to do? I have always thought that the reason why I can't get a woman is because none of them are attracted to me. But for some reason recently I've been thinking that maybe I have some sort of autisim or something and it's that which is stopping me from getting a woman. Edited March 4, 2011 by Ross PK
tb24 Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Well firstly, how old are you? It makes a difference. When I was 20 (I'm 24 now), I felt exactly like you describe. I was VERY (and still am to a degree) shy and felt like no girl would ever be interested in me. The only reason I ever got laid for the first time was because a rather lovely girl was attracted to me enough to spoon feed it to me that she was interested. She made all the first moves, if this hadn't happened I think I'd still be in the same position today. That doesn't help you, of course, but now I understand that at least some girls are interested in me. Since then I've become better at picking up signals and judging a woman's interest level. By the way, before this I put myself in *every* social situation I could. Luckily where I was working at the time, the people went out most weekends for a few drinks so I was able to tag along, if I hadn't I'd have never met that girl. So that would be my first piece of advice, get out more and your chances will increase just by being in the proximity of other people. I don't know how beneficial that is, however.
Author Ross PK Posted March 4, 2011 Author Posted March 4, 2011 Well firstly, how old are you? It makes a difference. When I was 20 (I'm 24 now), I felt exactly like you describe. I was VERY (and still am to a degree) shy and felt like no girl would ever be interested in me. The only reason I ever got laid for the first time was because a rather lovely girl was attracted to me enough to spoon feed it to me that she was interested. She made all the first moves, if this hadn't happened I think I'd still be in the same position today. That doesn't help you, of course, but now I understand that at least some girls are interested in me. Since then I've become better at picking up signals and judging a woman's interest level. By the way, before this I put myself in *every* social situation I could. Luckily where I was working at the time, the people went out most weekends for a few drinks so I was able to tag along, if I hadn't I'd have never met that girl. So that would be my first piece of advice, get out more and your chances will increase just by being in the proximity of other people. I don't know how beneficial that is, however. I'm 35. And I've been 'out there' a lot. Unfortunatley no girl has ever spoon fed it to me.
Eeyore79 Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 You have a date, and a few more dates, and then you ask her if she wants to be exclusive with you. Or if you're me, you have one date, and on the second date you blurt out "So, are you my boyfriend now or what?" Luckily it was well received!! Sex is one of those things which just happens naturally when you spend time alone together - kissing leads to making out, which leads to petting, which leads to sex. I prefer to be exclusive before I let it go beyond a simple kiss, but some women will have sex without exclusivity, it all depends.
runner Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Are you supposed to not know and it just happens naturally on it's own, or what? I know obviously you're supposed to go out, and talk to women, maybe ask some of them on a date, but how do you go from there to having sex with them or being boyfriend and girlfriend? perhaps you should first rethink your initial question, rather than trying to bag a woman like she were some playstation trophy or xbox achievement. try thinking of it in terms of a relationship where you both grow a desire to spend more and more time together- with and without clothing. (hint: women like being around attractive men, and it's not all physical qualities either) I'm just thinking, could it be that the reason why I can't get a woman be down to me just not knowing what you're supposed to do? try starting with forming deep relationships with people in general, regardless of gender, status, or age. being able to relate and carry on interesting conversation without being judgemental. eventually you'll realise that the person in your company just so happens to be an attractive woman. I have always thought that the reason why I can't get a woman is because none of them are attracted to me. But for some reason recently I've been thinking that maybe I have some sort of autisim or something and it's that which is stopping me from getting a woman. you prolly just need to build your social skills. it's not the end of the world; it's totally fixable. good luck. ...although if sex is all you want, then that's actually much easier to fix. all you really need is a few hundred quid/dollars and sign up for one of those PUA programmes, or, see a prostitute.
somedude81 Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Figuring out how to get women is an acquired skill. Though in the very early stages a great deal of luck is involved. 15 year old guy A, thinks girl A is cute. He asks her out and luckily she says yes. And they start dating, or whatever it is that 15 year old couples do. While he is with her, he gains confidence and begins to learn more about how women work. When things eventually end with girl A, he is able to get girl B through what he has learned from the first girl, and it goes on. Now guy B who is also 15, thinks girl 1 is cute and asks her out. She says no. He gets a little upset but gets over it. Then he thinks girl 2 is cute and asks her out and she also rejects him. Then it's the same thing with girl 4, then 5 and so on. Many years and rejections later guy B is an adult and hasn't actually learned anything about the dating game. He's still waiting for his lucky break to get the ball rolling. Long story short, getting the first girl is all about luck, then one is able to use what they have learned from the experience and the confidence they acquired to go on and get the next. Sadly some people just never get lucky.
Author Ross PK Posted March 5, 2011 Author Posted March 5, 2011 perhaps you should first rethink your initial question, rather than trying to bag a woman like she were some playstation trophy or xbox achievement. try thinking of it in terms of a relationship where you both grow a desire to spend more and more time together- with and without clothing. (hint: women like being around attractive men, and it's not all physical qualities either) try starting with forming deep relationships with people in general, regardless of gender, status, or age. being able to relate and carry on interesting conversation without being judgemental. eventually you'll realise that the person in your company just so happens to be an attractive woman. So basically you mean it just happens naturally on it's own? For some reason, I've been able to easily make friends with guys, and have had some really good friendships/connections with guys, but it never happens with women. I guess this is what is stopping a relationship with a woman from forming.
somedude81 Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 She gave you the typical response of somebody who wants to help, but has no real idea what to tell you.
runner Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 So basically you mean it just happens naturally on it's own? For some reason, I've been able to easily make friends with guys, and have had some really good friendships/connections with guys, but it never happens with women. I guess this is what is stopping a relationship with a woman from forming. no, obviously it doesn't happen naturally for you. what you really need to do is ask yourself why you can easily make friends with guys only and not women. women are not alien creatures "from venus"- that whole false dichotomy is bollocks. internalise that fact and you'll see how ridiculous it is to put an attractive woman whom you don't even know on a pedestal. so step one for you mate would be to make friends with women your age, preferably where there is no sexual attraction from either side (in order not to complicate the relationship), and simply better acquaint yourself with how feminine women think and view the world. if that isn't explicit enough advice, then g-d help you.
HeavenOrHell Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 What does 'feminine women' mean?! And, I guess all women think the same and view the world in the same way no, obviously it doesn't happen naturally for you. what you really need to do is ask yourself why you can easily make friends with guys only and not women. women are not alien creatures "from venus"- that whole false dichotomy is bollocks. internalise that fact and you'll see how ridiculous it is to put an attractive woman whom you don't even know on a pedestal. so step one for you mate would be to make friends with women your age, preferably where there is no sexual attraction from either side (in order not to complicate the relationship), and simply better acquaint yourself with how feminine women think and view the world. if that isn't explicit enough advice, then g-d help you.
somedude81 Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 no, obviously it doesn't happen naturally for you. what you really need to do is ask yourself why you can easily make friends with guys only and not women. women are not alien creatures "from venus"- that whole false dichotomy is bollocks. internalise that fact and you'll see how ridiculous it is to put an attractive woman whom you don't even know on a pedestal. so step one for you mate would be to make friends with women your age, preferably where there is no sexual attraction from either side (in order not to complicate the relationship), and simply better acquaint yourself with how feminine women think and view the world. if that isn't explicit enough advice, then g-d help you. If knowing how and being able to make friends with women was they key to actually getting girls, then I would be huge player; which I am the furthest thing from. Knowing how to make girls a friend and knowing how to make them want to do you, are two completely different skills.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Getting women is saved for the guys that are good with women. Which I will never be. I'm a skinny, nerdy looking guy with glasses. I grew out a beard to look older, otherwise I look 16 instead of 28. I am not sexually attractive, and that's what you need to be in order to get a girl. Unless she's blind.
somedude81 Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 i'm certainly not preaching to the choir here LOL, I'd say it's more like preaching Christianity in Tehran.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 i'm certainly not preaching to the choir here Said choir consisting of men who look like this. http://i.thestreet.com/files/tsc/mainstreet-photos/photo-gallery/art-gallery/secret-santa-nerd.jpg
ljcoburn Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Getting women is saved for the guys that are good with women. Which I will never be. I'm a skinny, nerdy looking guy with glasses. I grew out a beard to look older, otherwise I look 16 instead of 28. I am not sexually attractive, and that's what you need to be in order to get a girl. Unless she's blind. alot of it has to do with how you feel about yourself. A person projects themselves by how they feel about themself. Attitude is what attracts the opposite sex. Granted if you're walking around hunch back with a big hairy mole that could definitely get in the way too.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 alot of it has to do with how you feel about yourself. A person projects themselves by how they feel about themself. Attitude is what attracts the opposite sex. Granted if you're walking around hunch back with a big hairy mole that could definitely get in the way too. A computer nerd isn't able to date a cheerleader. That's the way the world works.
somedude81 Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 Said choir consisting of men who look like this. http://i.thestreet.com/files/tsc/mainstreet-photos/photo-gallery/art-gallery/secret-santa-nerd.jpg If that's even remotely close to what you actually look like, then you have a lot of work to do. For the record, I don't think I look nerdy at all. Unfortunately, to get a girl, one needs to go far beyond not nerdy.
Duckduckgoose Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 A computer nerd isn't able to date a cheerleader. That's the way the world works. A lot of hot girls like nerds. FYI... I was shopping today and noticed it BIGTIME. Needless to say I was looking at the ceiling a lot.
skydiveaddict Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 Are you supposed to not know and it just happens naturally on it's own, or what? When you find out, would you let me know?
Author Ross PK Posted March 6, 2011 Author Posted March 6, 2011 Yup. It does seem to be something that happens naturally on it's own for most people, from the impression I get and from what people are saying in this topic.
runner Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 Yup. It does seem to be something that happens naturally on it's own for most people, from the impression I get and from what people are saying in this topic. and what some of you are missing is the concept of changing yourselves so that it happens naturally for you as well. is it an easy process ? nope. is it painful ? absolutly. but in the end it's worth it. asking questions on LS is only the first step, but a commendable step. what you need is the determination to make something out of knowledge and the will to step out of your comfort zone...and this is what seperates the men from the boys
romantic911 Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 I know this sounds a bit trite - but if you tell yourself all the time that you will never attract, and never have attracted, a woman, then you won't. It's like a negative pep-talk. This is where motivational literature can help. Read Dale Carnegie, read Tony Robbins, Chicken Soup for The Soul, The Road Less Travelled etc, immerse yourself in this stuff (go to your local Barnes and Noble and look under self-help) even if you don't feel like it. Some of it will rub off on you and you will experience some "a'has!" - don't focus on trying to solve your one problem - just work on your frame of mind and thinking overall. Develop a 'can do' attitude and this will stand you in good stead when the right person comes along. People are attracted to like-minded positive people -
neleanora Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 Сколько еще можно говорить об одном и том же тысячу раз? eng: How many still it is possible to tell about same one thousand times? смотреть фильмы без регистрации шокирующее видео кино на dvd
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 If that's even remotely close to what you actually look like, then you have a lot of work to do. For the record, I don't think I look nerdy at all. Unfortunately, to get a girl, one needs to go far beyond not nerdy. No, no no, I'm skinnier and have long hair and a beard. Plus, different glasses. My point was that women would never go for the guy I gave as an example, simply because he isn't good looking. Looks matter far more than personality to women.
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