savacula Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 My now ex-boyfriend and I were previously together for two years. Things were going very well in our relationship, especially during the Summer but some things were bothering him. We are in High School and during the course of that previous school year he had began to drift away from his best friend, Mark, who was moving on and starting to hang out with other people. The two had always been a pair, but now Mark was starting to only come to him when he needed advice and talking poorly about him behind his back. My ex finally got fed up with it over the Summer and said that he didn’t want to be friends with him anymore. This devastated Mark. Upon arriving back to school, I began to notice a lot of Marks new friends were giving me a hard time and I had no idea why. A few months into school Mark and my ex talked things out, and Mark told my ex a lot of horrible things about me that weren’t even true and how much he disliked me. My ex didn’t think much of it and claimed that he defended me, but it hurt me a lot and it especially hurt that he forgave him and that they made up. Fast-forward two weeks later, my ex on one particular night started acting very shallow to me and so the next day I asked him what was wrong and he told me about how he had been thinking about how he was going to be graduating this year and how he was moving and how he didn’t see us together when he moved. This hurt me, and the way I thought about it was what was the point of continuing a relationship when you already know the ending. I proposed to him that we break up now, and this threw him off guard, and he wanted to all of a sudden talk things out. We never got the chance to talk things out with interferences from Mark and some of my friends. That weekend, my ex and Mark were going off to get high and this hurt me that my ex was going to go off with the friend who had made so much stuff up about me instead of working things out with me. I had not talked to anyone about this whole ordeal and I felt like I was going to explode, so I confided in a friend who ended up seeing them walking and she screamed across the street, “She wants to break up with you!” The following morning he asked me, “So I guess it is over?” And I was so angry that I responded that yes it was indeed over. He told me about how Mark confessed to making the things up about me and how he needed a villain and he chose me. My family had been out during that weekend, and with my friend betraying me and my now ex going back to his best friend who put so much effort into making me be the bad guy, I wanted to kill myself. I had been thinking about it the whole weekend and it was an opportunity with my family being out. That night I was basically writing up a will, to all the people I loved and telling them my closing thoughts. This included my ex. My ex caught on to what I was doing and came over my house to comfort me. He said that he still loved me, had made up having fun with Mark, and just acted like he didn’t care because he didn’t want to come running back to me. He also told me that no matter what he said he would always love me; and if I were ever to do anything he would surely follow. Over the next few days he was very protective of me, and just generally talked to me to make sure how I was doing. And on Thanksgiving he told me that he wanted a break and didn’t think it was healthy that I confided in him and wanted me to rather talk to a friend about my feelings. I waited a few weeks and he never tried talking to me, so I made the first attempt. I started off by thanking him for being so supportive of me and he just acted very indifferent the entire conversation. I still had those words ringing in my mind about that night he came over and I was confident we were going to get back together, so I brought it up. He began to say how I misinterpreted what he said by saying he didn’t mean ‘love’ in a romantic way but rather in the way he loved Mark. I called him out for it because another thing he had said on that night was that he was happy the whole ordeal happened in a weird way because it had given us that opportunity to talk even though it was a horrible circumstance. I also told him Mark was the worst thing he could compare me to. It upset him that I said that, and said that I expected him to defend me but sit idly when I talked about Mark. In the end, he said that he didn’t love me anymore because I had wanted to kill myself; I wasn’t the person he thought I was. That hurt life a knife. And after that, since this conversation had been online, I stopped talking to him and he started to panic because he thought I was going to do something. We didn’t talk, and then he randomly messaged me on Christmas saying that he hoped I had a Merry Christmas. I didn’t respond, but he assumed I was sleeping so he just sent it to me over Facebook. A few weeks later I decided to delete him off of Facebook because it was really just too painful for me and it really hurt me because all of his posts were about how good his life was and Mark just posting endlessly about how my ex’s life couldn’t get any better. My ex used to always be unhappy in school; even when I was with him but now whenever I see him he is always laughing with Mark as if two months prior they didn’t even talk. I just don’t understand it. He said that he had loved me and that I was his best friend, and now that Mark is back it is as if he has taken my role. While I am at my most miserable, it is like nothing ever happened with him. I am just not sure what to do. I don’t feel like I have any friends that care at all, and I just still really want to die. Nothing helps and what I am afraid of most is that since he is graduating next year I will never speak to him again because I doubt he cares enough to try to make amends. I just don’t know what to do.
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