Jynxx Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 SHE deserves better than HIM. Is this a joke? She finds a guy who she is still together with after she cheated on him, who takes care of cooking, cleaning, her kid and her career and lets her live in his house while she herself is too lazy to stay in shape or clean up after herself, and you say she deserves someone better? In what universe does this make sense? And if this girl deserves someone better than the op, then does that mean every girl deserves someone better than the op, since we've heard a huge bias towards negative characteristics of this girl? I'm not trying to be a troll or anything, I just fail to see how you* could possibly think this guy is not good enough for that girl. From his op I read he even tried to tell her in a non offending way by hinting at it at first, and only told her directly after she ignored him. Note that I'm glad we all agree on a breakup. *you as in yourself and what seems to be every other female poster in this thread
AverageJoe Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Again: no! And def not when looking at your other thread (op found proof she cheated on him). She's using you, you're her ATM, free hotel, payjump and probably babysitter for a child that isn't yours, but don't dare ask for light tasks or basic self care or even faithfulness in return or she'll be mad at you. You're way to good for her, move on with your life because there is no saving a relationship in this state. This. %100 Dude. You need to get out now. Start making a plan to move on with your life immediately. She is sucking the life out of you.
Linda9999 Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 So she's sucking the life out of him and he's treating her like doggie doo doo. If she really is a fat lazy cheating slob he SHOULD break up with her, but not because of the fat part. Whatever it is he doesn't like about her, the bottom line is that YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE. They have to WANT to change THEMSELVES. Whatever their faults.
depplover_1980 Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 You are totally right to want her to lose weight - she is fat and her health is at risk which makes her selfish, especially to her son. I know the OP is not communicating the problem in a sensitive manner but I don't understand why you're defending this womans right to this big?!! Obesity is a real health issue and if the man was saying his wife was a drug addict there would be a very different reaction.
Star_Bright Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Is this a joke? She finds a guy who she is still together with after she cheated on him, who takes care of cooking, cleaning, her kid and her career and lets her live in his house while she herself is too lazy to stay in shape or clean up after herself, and you say she deserves someone better? In what universe does this make sense? And if this girl deserves someone better than the op, then does that mean every girl deserves someone better than the op, since we've heard a huge bias towards negative characteristics of this girl? I'm not trying to be a troll or anything, I just fail to see how you* could possibly think this guy is not good enough for that girl. From his op I read he even tried to tell her in a non offending way by hinting at it at first, and only told her directly after she ignored him. Note that I'm glad we all agree on a breakup. *you as in yourself and what seems to be every other female poster in this thread The OP did not state that she cheated on him in this thread. His thread was about her being fat, and he was mean about her and acted like she was some charity case who should be grateful he's supporting her. That is no way to have a relationship. He does need to break up with her. Going by what he posted in THIS thread (he didn't mention cheating so how was I to know), she deserves better than someone who makes fun of rolls coming off the top of her pants and all the other mean stuff he said. Complaining about her and being mean about her isn't the answer. He needs to break up with her and move on.
Star_Bright Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 You are totally right to want her to lose weight - she is fat and her health is at risk which makes her selfish, especially to her son. I know the OP is not communicating the problem in a sensitive manner but I don't understand why you're defending this womans right to this big?!! Obesity is a real health issue and if the man was saying his wife was a drug addict there would be a very different reaction. Oh come on, he didn't say she was obese. We don't have her height/weight/body fat statistics. he complained about a stomach roll. And he STILL can't change her. She was big when he first met her and chose to start a relationship with her. If his standard is a skinny/ in-shape girl, then he needs to move on because this obviously isn't her. It's not up to him to be her doctor! He either loves/accepts her how she is and treats her lovingly, or he leaves her.
AverageJoe Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 So she's sucking the life out of him and he's treating her like doggie doo doo. If she really is a fat lazy cheating slob he SHOULD break up with her, but not because of the fat part. Where do you see he is treating her like dog ****? Providing a roof over her head, power, phone, internet, water, an exercise machine, and of course FOOD. She should at least pick up those moon pie wrappers while she is slovenly sitting around on his dime. I wonder if she has ever said to him, hey thanks for knocking the rent out this month. Not to mention money shelled out for her little crumb cruncher. I can see him now. At chuckee cheese being dragged around by her and the kid, and all that is left to see is a dead soul of what used to be a man. I haven't mentioned her weight yet. He met her when she was big, he over looked that and accepted her for it. Now it seems apparent she must be bigger, huge. Probably enormous. Nothing will shrivel up a penis faster. Whatever it is he doesn't like about her, the bottom line is that YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE. They have to WANT to change THEMSELVES. Whatever their faults. We agree completely on this. He should end it immediately. He, yes HE! Deserves a happier life.
AverageJoe Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 she deserves better than someone who makes fun of rolls coming off the top of her pants and all the other mean stuff he said. Complete Bull****! She deserves better? On what grounds? She deserves a comprehensive workout regiment and some motivation. She is not going to do a damn thing as long as he keep enabling her.
Star_Bright Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Where do you see he is treating her like dog ****? Providing a roof over her head, power, phone, internet, water, an exercise machine, and of course FOOD. She should at least pick up those moon pie wrappers while she is slovenly sitting around on his dime. I wonder if she has ever said to him, hey thanks for knocking the rent out this month. Not to mention money shelled out for her little crumb cruncher. I can see him now. At chuckee cheese being dragged around by her and the kid, and all that is left to see is a dead soul of what used to be a man. I haven't mentioned her weight yet. He met her when she was big, he over looked that and accepted her for it. Now it seems apparent she must be bigger, huge. Probably enormous. Nothing will shrivel up a penis faster. We agree completely on this. He should end it immediately. He, yes HE! Deserves a happier life. he shouldn't have done all of that if he didn't like who she was. I didn't hear anything good about her, or why he got with her in the first place. Just that she was big since they met. Sounds like he helps her voluntarily, wanting something in return (her to change), and then when he doesn't get it, he complains and belittles her. That's no way to have a relationship. He should only get with someone he is totally gaga about, and always accept her for who she is... not get with someone and want her to change. And I don't think totally financing someone is every appropriate... everyone should be able to take care of themselves! He shouldn't help out someone in need of so much help and then complain about it. That's all I meant. And that she deserves someone who loves and accepts her for who she is... if she is really the loser he claims she is, then, she won't ever find that, but he shouldn't stick around either, he should get out. I have no sympathy for that! Why would anyone support someone like this? She needs to have her own life and he shouldn't have gotten with her and done all of this for her if she didn't. That's his own bad decision. Now he needs to make a good decision and walk away from her.
Star_Bright Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 She is not going to do a damn thing as long as he keep enabling her. Exactly. She is at fault for not bettering herself and her situation on her own two feet (instead of relying on a man). He is at fault for enabling her and complaining about her. That is not love. Again, I didn't know about the cheating and absolute slobbishness etc. when I first posted... all he said was that she was fat and he was making fun of her body, to which I say, she deserves better. NO ONE deserves a partner who makes fun of the way they look.
AverageJoe Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Exactly. She is at fault for not bettering herself and her situation on her own two feet (instead of relying on a man). He is at fault for enabling her and complaining about her. That is not love. Again, I didn't know about the cheating and absolute slobbishness etc. when I first posted... all he said was that she was fat and he was making fun of her body, to which I say, she deserves better. NO ONE deserves a partner who makes fun of the way they look. Look, does she deserve better? Yes, she deserves it from her self. Not from anyone else. Until then it remains a problem she herself has to address. Sometimes you just can't look through life with rose colored glasses. It's nice at first sure, but eventually you have to take them off. As I mentioned before. He should make arrangements immediately to move on. It isn't fair to either of them to be in a relationship headed for eventual destruction.
depplover_1980 Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 But hasn't she just got fatter and fatter since they've been together? So therefore she wasn't like that when they met.
amymarieca Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 You said that most women would kill for a situation like hers. Why? Who would want to be put into a demeaning situation like this where you are bullied into changing your body? Don't ever feel like she owes you something that shallow just because YOU are the one who offered to take her in. Asking her to contribute to cleaning or bills is one thing, but keeping up with a physical appearance??? Losing weight is hard enough without having someone boss you around, telling you what to eat, and trying to force you to exercise. She is probably not very motivated because you treat her like garbage. That's enough to make anyone feel down. Perhaps YOU are the one with the low self-esteem.
AverageJoe Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 You said that most women would kill for a situation like hers. Why? Who would want to be put into a demeaning situation like this where you are bullied into changing your body? She put herself there.
depplover_1980 Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Actually those under boot camp type restrictions and motivation lose the most weight. There are either a lot of fellow fatties posting here, or people are generally under-educated on the health risks of obesity.
PurpleReign Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 If she's fat, lazy, a bad parent, and a slob, why are you still with her? What is wrong with YOU?
amymarieca Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Scrutinizing fat people is one of the only forms of prejudice where the people subjected to it feel like they are getting exactly what they deserve. Many of you are being really critical of fat people when actually it doesn't affect you. This girl deserves to be treated with respect and she is not getting it from this guy clearly.
USCGAviator Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Send her packing man. No better way to be more blunt than that.
depplover_1980 Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Scrutinizing fat people is one of the only forms of prejudice where the people subjected to it feel like they are getting exactly what they deserve. Many of you are being really critical of fat people when actually it doesn't affect you. This girl deserves to be treated with respect and she is not getting it from this guy clearly. Again I disagree. You are suggesting an environment where fat people should never be critised. This is infact wrong because they deserve help, support and motivation to lose weight and be healthy. People who are obese are effectively killing themselves slowly - it is a fact. Like I said if a person is an alcoholic, or substance addict and putting crap into their bodies then a totally difference attitude is taken and THAT is hypocritical. Obesity is an illness and addiction.
spiderowl Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Her weight is her own issue to deal with. If you don't like her the way she is, then you are better off out of it. You can't control her. If she feels like you are not happy with her or commenting on her weight, she will feel hurt (even if she agrees she needs to lose weight). Someone did something similar to me, even though I was actually quite skinny at the time. Basically, I dumped him. I don't want to be with someone so insensitive and I wouldn't dream of commenting on his (many) flaws. If I don't like someone and feel attracted to them, then I'd get out of the relationship. That's just me, I guess. Someone else might advise you differently.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 There's nothing wrong with asking her to lose weight, but there is something wrong with putting it as a first priority. What will happen when you two get old, and you're no longer physically attracted to each other? Will you break up then? Sometimes you have to look at the whole picture, instead of just the physical front.
threebyfate Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 I went back and checked your other thread. Ditch her and not because of her weight, which if you're really honest with yourself, isn't the main issue. Had her weight and all the flaws you've listed of her been the issues, you'd either not have gotten together with her in the first place or dumped her since. Her excuse of drunkenness doesn't make it okay for her to hold that guy's head to her chest. Their body language in both pics was too intimate even if she hasn't had oral or penetrative sex. Once again, ditch her. You're 29 which is still young enough to find a life partner without much effort. For that matter, why are you hoping for a mature mate in a 19 year old, single mother?
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Yikes. Okay, didn't know all that. Dude, you're 29. Look at the girls around you that are your own age. Leave the teenyboppers alone.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 Certainly it's not healthy to be overweight. But, OP got together with a "large" teenage girl. From the tone of his posts, he has zero respect or trust for her, and I have only seen one reference to him even liking her a tiny bit (something like his friends could not see that she is a great girl inside). On top of that, according to him she is supposed to change because of what he does for her. Being fat is a problem. Not very many people really like being fat. If it were as simple as "doing something about it," obesity would not be such a huge (heh, heh) problem. Shaming a person, putting them down, approaching them with an air of superiority, will NOT make an overweight person with an unhealthy lifestyle change. If OP does not want to be with an overweight girl ... why did he get together with one in the first place. I sense a lot of control issues here. It's not going to work, OP. Either you need to accept this girl for who she is, and how she behaves, or you need to let her go. It sounds like she has some growing up to do, and it sounds like you have self-esteem issues of your own to work on before you will be in a healthy and fulfilling relationship, regardless of the body size of the participants.
alethean Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 I'm with everyone else. It's time to leave her OP. There doesn't seem to be any redeeming qualities to this relationship from what you have posted.
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