csgirl Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Alrighty, so here's the situation. I am crushing on an older man, who is indeed a great older than me. I am 20, he's in his mid 30s. I've never been attracted to older men before, so this was kind of shocking for me. - He's never been married and has no kids. - I met him through school. He was my professor, and we became pretty close. I am no longer in his class and never will be again, and my school has no rules against teachers dating students. That being said, recently we've gotten even closer. We've been going to dinner every week, going to get coffee, taking walks, etc. He also gave me his number, but I don't really understand what's happening here. He hasn't made any romantic moves on me, and as far as I can tell he doesn't act particularly attracted to me besides initiating conversations and inviting me to dinner. He's very sweet, but I think he may just be that way in every situation. He casually mentioned at dinner that he would date a student, and he compliments me a lot..but the other night as we were hugging goodbye I accidentally knocked into him and apologized to which he replied, "Oh, that's ok. Lots of students do that to me." Comments like those make me think that maybe there's nothing at all going on. I tried to hold eye contact with him for a little while when sitting across from him but he was very darty eyed, which makes me think maybe he's just not interested and I'm wasting my time. But why would a man spend so much time with someone if they didn't have some kind of interest in them? He always asks questions about my life and remembers things that I've told him. We have great conversations, and he always urges me to call him "anytime, if I ever want to talk about anything." Is he just taking pity on me because I'm a lowly college student? I don't get it! I need a second opinion!
czen Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Well, I'd just to talk to him about it or make my move, if I were you. That's the only way you'll get any clarity in this situation, as it seems he isn't going to make a move. But I do agree with you, he's sending some mixed signals. My guess would be that he just wants to be friends, as he's old enough to understand that he should make a move if he wants you, so he isn't held back by the fears that cripple younger people (that's my guess anyway), but maybe you're just not giving him the right signals, which make him think you don't want him and that may be holding him back. Do you treat him as a friend or as a possible romantic interest?
xpaperxcutx Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 I doubt he will take you seriously. An older man always likes the temptation of a younger woman, add to the fact you were an ex- student, it's more about the fantasy and the thrill than anything else. Yes, technically, you can always go for a fling but a long term thing is very unlikely.
collegeguy_24 Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 I doubt he will take you seriously. An older man always likes the temptation of a younger woman, add to the fact you were an ex- student, it's more about the fantasy and the thrill than anything else. Yes, technically, you can always go for a fling but a long term thing is very unlikely. I agree with this completely, it certainly seems like he is more interested in the thrill then anything else. If only to save yourself heartache, I say avoid going further into this.
Phateless Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 1. "I would date a student" + giving you compliments = interested. 2. Completely agree with papercut. This will be a fling and nothing more. If you're ok with that, move forward. If you want some kind of future, RUN AWAY!
Author csgirl Posted March 6, 2011 Author Posted March 6, 2011 My guess would be that he just wants to be friends, as he's old enough to understand that he should make a move if he wants you, so he isn't held back by the fears that cripple younger people (that's my guess anyway), but maybe you're just not giving him the right signals, which make him think you don't want him and that may be holding him back. Do you treat him as a friend or as a possible romantic interest? Hmm I could be giving him mixed signals too. Lol. I never wanted to make him uncomfortable or seem like some moronic college girl chasing her professor, so I hide my feelings. Maybe I'll start hinting at him and see how he reacts. Thanks for all the responses! I agree that this would inevitably be a fling if for nothing else because of the age difference, but I was curious to see what others thought of the situation.
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