Shatter3d Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Just help, please.....help I cant live without him him in my life, I dont want to be here anymore. HELP. Its been 11 days NC - why hasnt he contacted? He doesnt care, I want to die. I mean it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shatter3d Posted March 4, 2011 Author Share Posted March 4, 2011 why is everyone else getting crumbs, and I am getting nothing? I wish my ex would send me something so at least I could feel he still loves me and misses me. At this very moment, I want to die, Im not joking, I want to end my existence, I do not want to feel anything anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
TryTryAgain Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Hi. I'm new to the boards, but I have been following for quite some time. I feel your pain and at times I feel like I want to die as well. I have not gotten any crumbs either, at least this time. She has broken up with me before, and crumbs always do surface at one point or another. Her and I have gotten back together twice and it has not worked out either time. So crumbs or no crumbs, I was probably better off just moving on with my life in the first place. I do feel you though, because despite the pain she has caused I wish I was getting crumbs right now. I have been almost 3 weeks NC. She has initiated the break up each time. Hang in there and stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
flume Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 I can tell you for sure what you are feeling is what a lot of us feel. Stay strong and make a target of 1 day at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
NG85 Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 It's tough at first, but it WILL get better, believe me. You're used to being with this person and being in touch with him so much that it's almost like you're addicted, and right now you're going through withdrawals. Depending on how bad the break-up was, give the NC 3-6 weeks (The worst the break-up, the longer the NC). It should be safe to contact him after this time. NC helps you heal, and helps you learn to live without your ex for a certain amount of time. Who knows, at the end of NC you may realize you don't even need him. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 why is everyone else getting crumbs, and I am getting nothing? I wish my ex would send me something so at least I could feel he still loves me and misses me. At this very moment, I want to die, Im not joking, I want to end my existence, I do not want to feel anything anymore. I know how you feel... I get no crumbs AT ALL either. AND I know my ex is living with another man, before we're divorced! AND we have a kid! Look at it that way, it could be way worse for you! And believe me, no person is worth YOUR life. No one. Please hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shatter3d Posted March 4, 2011 Author Share Posted March 4, 2011 I know ... I just feel so "hopeless". This is the first time I have drunk since the BU and I must admit I'm feeling pretty down. I can honestly say I dont care if I live or die. How embarassing. How can one person dicate how I view life? I'm so jealous of everyones post's about receiving crumb msg's. I mean I know they are pointless msgs, but doesnt it mean their ex is at least thinking about them? MY EX COULD NOT CARE LESS ABOUT ME !! And that hursts so much. Even if a crumb msg might fck with my mind, at least it would show he is thinking about me. But at the moment I am getting NOTHING, which honestly (at this point in time) makes me feel like not being on this earth. I am NOT strong enough to do things on my own. I want to do things with someone else, not anyone but HIM....why cant I find piece with myself? I just cant.............I would seriously rather die....yes as embarassing as that is to say, I just dont want want to wake up tomorrow facing another lonely day. And let me ask you something..... HE is going to wake up tomorrow also, WHAT MAKES HIM BE ABLE TO GET THROUGH THE DAY ? ( is it another girl? or is it the fact that he doesnt have me in his life? which makes it easier for him ? SIGH ...what makes me such a bad person?????????? Link to post Share on other sites
SDA Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Hi, you need to relax. 11 days isn't a long time. I know your pain I really do. Don't be jealous that our ex's gives us crumbs. After she stops it makes me feel worse and worse. You will start feeling better, I promise. Link to post Share on other sites
broken-and-lost Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 (edited) SHATTER3D, Hi i've posted a few times on your post and i know your story. I am going through exactly the same thing as you an my ex also does not want to know right now i'm 36 i'm scared i'm lost and i think i've messed up my life i'll never have a family kids wife i've not slept in 5 months i've cried every day and i feel ugly and low, when i go to bed i sometimes hope that i will never wake up again, so i know how you feel i really do But listen to me hun this will not last forever 11 days is not long enough, Please take a step back and listen to the people here you will get through this hun same as me if your ex comes back he comes back if he doesn't hell date me, looks like i'm single forever now anyway the true fact is hun that we need to look to ourselves for happiness and not others this is way relationships fail so much Edited March 4, 2011 by broken-and-lost Link to post Share on other sites
flow15 Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Shattered... please don't feel this way!! I know its so hard, but trust me on this it will get better with time. The more time goes on you will realise that you don't even want crumbs. The song my ex sent me, I don't know if it was crumbs or not, but all it did was f**k with my head and I really would rather if he had just left me alone. Because 99% of me is telling me how much he hurt me and that I should ignore it, whereas there is this 1% which is still in love with him and can't walk away. If he hadn't sent the song it would be so much easier to walk away. A few weeks ago I was where you are now. Your ex will get in touch eventually, it took my ex a month, I don't know how long it will take your ex but they all get in touch eventually. But with time you will feel so much better, you just have to take each day as it comes and just focus on yourself and you will feel so much stronger. It hasn't even been two weeks yet, but after four you will feel a lot stronger. Try going to gym, that is what I have been doing and it makes me feel a lot better. Try to distract yourself as much as you can, and tell yourself that you don't need this guy to live!! In a few months time you will open your eyes and see how many amazing guys there are out there who won't treat you the way your ex treated you, and you'll be laughing at yourself now. Please try stay strong!! (hugs) Link to post Share on other sites
Layzie89 Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Hi, you need to relax. 11 days isn't a long time. I know your pain I really do. Don't be jealous that our ex's gives us crumbs. After she stops it makes me feel worse and worse. Yeah, listen to SDA. I've gotten the Hey How are You? crumb nearly 2 weeks ago and it's been killing me everyday since that I haven't gotten anything more. I would have much rather preferred her not sending that because now my mind wonders, and wonders, and wonders. SHattered, you're surrounded by a whole bunch of understanding people here at LS. Don't ever feel like your alone alright? I've been following your posts so I know your story, and I know you're alot stronger than this. Let this weak moment pass, as all weak moments do. We love ya Link to post Share on other sites
2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 I've not had any contact at all from my ex, and I have not initiated any and that has been well about a month and a half and it hurts to think of what might have been but please try and be as strong for you as you can, I have went through a lot in the last 3 months since I last saw her but you have got to say to yourself "someone needs you to be strong right now" and that person is you. Do not let you down. Feel the pain and let it flow as this is the only way you will heal. I promise you will feel better, I know it doesn't feel like it right now and I felt like the suffering would never end but it does, you will come out of that dark tunnel back into the light soon enough. 2011 My favourite quote: If you're going through hell, keep going Link to post Share on other sites
flow15 Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Shattered, I have a question. If your ex did get in touch and asked for you back, would you take him back knowing his history and knowing that there would probably be a high chance of him leaving again? Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 bump.. I hope you're feeling better today! Hang in there! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shatter3d Posted March 6, 2011 Author Share Posted March 6, 2011 Hi everyone, thanks so much for all your replies. I got through a really horrible night.....needless to say Im still here but feeling pretty rotten. I have spent all weekend in bed, crying. I just feel horrible. Dont want to see anyone or do anything. I just want to be on my own. I think the BU has finallly hit me. Its been 2 months now and its only just finally hit me that it's really over and he wont be coming back...... The hard part is that I have to see him everyday at work, makes it almost impossible to get over him. To see him so smug and happy makes me sick. I want to rise above this, and I know I will. Just stuck in a bit of a rut at the moment and not sure how to get out of it. One thing is for sure, I must stay away from alcohol. That nearly destroyed me....But I am proud of one thing, no matter how helpless I felt that night, how low, how depressed, how weak, I never once gave in and texted him or called him. Instead I came here, so thankyou to all my wonderful friends for getting me through a really really tough time. Day 13 - NC today and going strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shatter3d Posted March 6, 2011 Author Share Posted March 6, 2011 Shattered, I have a question. If your ex did get in touch and asked for you back, would you take him back knowing his history and knowing that there would probably be a high chance of him leaving again? Hi Flow, good question. I am going to answer this honestly. The truth is, I really dont know if I would take him back. My heart says yes but my head says NO. I guess it would depend how he approached the situation, what he says, how he plans to win back my trust, is he willing to go to councelling etc. Depends on how much work he is willing to put into it...I would need to feel like he is really ready for change and commitment. The other part of me wishes he will just come back so I have the satisfaction of him still wanting me, then I can reject him back. I knows that immature right? But at least I'm being honest.. Who knows what the future holds, I just want to be happy. I'm sick of living like this and wanting or needing someone else in my life for me to be happy. I need to work out if I'm miserable just because I'm lonely or is it because I really do miss "him". I'm not so sure anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 (edited) Shatter3d, you're right to stay away from the alcohol, it worsens one's depression. You don't need that. You're going to get through this, so best arm yourself with tools to hasten the process: healthy habits for your mind and body. Good food, gentle exercise, and treating yourself compassionately. Best to you. You'll come through this rough patch. Edited March 6, 2011 by cerridwen Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shatter3d Posted March 6, 2011 Author Share Posted March 6, 2011 Thanks Cerridwen. I really do hope I get through this. I feel so broken right now. I just want/need some sort of sign/signal that he still cares and/or is thinking about me. Maybe then I might feel like I can get through the day. Link to post Share on other sites
gator12 Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Stay strong shattered we are all here for you. Be grateful you aren't getting any crumbs because right now you are not ready to handle them the right way by ignoring them. Stay strong girl, life is wonderful and he is not needed to be happy. If he never messages you again, guess what he's really missing out. You're a wonderful girl so act like it. Enjoy life instead of moping around, the only way to go from rock bottom is up. -Gator Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shatter3d Posted March 7, 2011 Author Share Posted March 7, 2011 Thanks Gator... I'll try stay strong. Well I've made it to 2 weeks NC - Im proud of myself And the other good thing is that he will be working night shift for the next month so I wont have to see him at work (i bet he purposely took this shift to avoid me) I've pretty much hit rock bottom and can only go up from here. I forced myself to go for a walk today when I could feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes. Im going to force myself to make positive changes, one day at a time. I think the anger is slowly starting to creep in, not sure if thats a good thing or not. Have felt very angry today towards him. Hopefully the anger wont last too much longer. He has SO missed out on a good girl. He will probably realise this, whether he does or doesnt, thats not my worry anymore. Some other guy will one day have the pleasure of loving me. It wont be him. The only way is up ! Link to post Share on other sites
broken-and-lost Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 hey shatter, keep going hun, you can do it i had terrible day today, but i know we are all in the same boat and have to power through it Link to post Share on other sites
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