citrusdrop1688 Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 My ex and I broke up because he said that he wasn't happy the last few months we were together. We broke up about two weeks after our one year anniversary. I had been having some insecurities come up due to some personal problems I had been trying to deal with. This lead to me overreacting to different insignificant issues and having some controlling tendencies come up. I have been really attempting to work on them since the break up. At the same time he has been dealing with trying to find out who he is. He's had alot of self discovery occurring since we started dating. Been dealing with alot of things coming up from his childhood that he had never really dealt with. He had always been taught that his needs werent as important as other peoples this was an issue for us because he would never tell me when something was bothering him until it had turned into something BIG. We never got into screaming fights, and neither one of us ever threw out insults to each other. When we broke up we had been having a series of serious conversations come up about different aspects of our relationship. I had a feeling it was coming about a week before it actually happened. When we broke up he told me he would always love me and maybe we were meant to work out at some other time. Three days later we met up to trade stuff and talked about what was going on with him. He still loved me but had to take time to be selfish and work on himself. He had to make himself happy before he could make someone else. We agreed to try to be friends and that in a few weeks one of us would attempt to contact the other one. A week later we sent back a few emails but he said it still hurt too much to talk. A week after that I emailed him again and asked if he wanted to meet up but he said it was still too soon. The third week he contacted me on facebook and he asked if i was dating anyone. I said no but that i didnt know if being friends would work because i would always feel like we could have had something great and ****ed it up and i would never be ok with someone else being with him. he said he cold relate and that he didnt want to be with anyone else but couldnt be with me right now. He didnt think he could date anyone else until he knew we werent meant to be. And that he was still in love with me. Two weeks after that and nothing... I had a big anniversary come up and he didnt say anything. We were supposed to go to a concert together and all i could think about was him and how he wasnt there. So the next day I decide we need to have one last talk and then I was going to say a last good bye get some closure and delete him off all my stuff. He agrees to meet. I get there and he gives me a big hug. We sit on the couch and all he keeps saying is how much he missed me. He was sitting right next to me and holding my hand. Kept saying how he thought of me all the time. How he missed holding me. I told him (the honest truth) that im not ready to be in a relationship. I think its too soon. Even if it was with him. I want to make sure the positive changes im making are habits and will stick. Somehow we ended up agreeing not to date other people or sleep with other people. Try to communicate more like normal people. We agreed the foundation to our relationship is still there. I think we both feel like we need to see this through. At least I hope so. We discussed how we would need to completely start from the beginning of the relationship. On tuesday we had a normal conversation on facebook, just about life. We also agreed to meet up a few times a month to see where we were and what we were thinking/feeling. We said good night and then he got off. He logged back on and said "I love you so much. Sorry I just had to. Gnight" ok... any opinions about the situation?
BrokenFool Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 You obviously love him and he loves you too, your fears of getting your heart broken again are natural and i dont blame you for giving it some time, he doesnt seem to be playing any games with you , and its good you have discussed openly what caused issues set some boundaries, spend some time together and let the relationship flow naturally but dont do this we will talk now and again cos you will revert to being friends and no matter what either of you say if he wakes up one day and wants sex and knows he wont get it from you he will look to get it elsewhere and just not tell you about it
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