cuartz7o Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Hi All, First off, I'm 24 and moved up here from Florida 2 1/2 years ago for a job. I never dated too much in college and esp. high school and am playing catch up nowadays. I met someone a few weeks ago online who messaged me saying she liked my profile and i seemed like her type.. cool. I sent her a text asking to go out to a museum on the weekend and it went really well. I payed for the museum and she paid for lunch afterwards (was not expecting that). I'd been down that road before but didn't think much of it and we had a nice lunch. After lunch I asked if she wanted to hang out and she said "yes." She went away for the week so we planned for dinner Tuesday night. Dinner went well, we really connected and had a good time. Afterwards I asked if she wanted to go somewhere else to get a drink and she suggested a local bar around the area. We sat at the bar close to each other and spent an hour laughing and just talking about anything and everything. It started to get late and we decided to wrap it up. I didn't hold her hand and after I walked her to her complex i went in for the hug then kiss and just got the hug. I was a little down on myself because I was hoping for the goodnight kiss as an indicator that we're connecting. When I told her I'd like to see her again she said "yea just hit me up" Here's where I got stuck: trying to figure out the 3rd date. I spent the day contemplating going bowling, asking her over for brunch (too risky?) and going out for a late dinner and drinks at this nice reggae lounge. I decided to go for the lounge and when i called her this evening she answered with a warm "heyyy." We talked about her day and i asked what she was up to this weekend to which she replied not too much. I then asked if she wanted to go to the lounge and she said yea it sounds like fun. She then said that her friend wanted help moving Sat and she isn't sure if she'll have to help. I told her I understand and to let me know if she can make it. At this point I am preparing for her to disappear but I have done well being patient the past two weeks with her so I can wait another day or so. My question is, was the lounge not the best idea? I'm not trying to rush anything (haven't told her that) but wanted to do something that would be fun and hopefully lead to a kiss and another date. I'll be OK if she disappears but am wondering what others may think of this all as I can always use this as a learning experience. Of course now that I've said all this with my luck she's on this site too and read this all. P.S. -> Sorry for the long first post!
ascendotum Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 I thought your decision to go with the reggae lounge, was good, pretty much for the same reasons you outlined. Don’t sweat going with this. I can understand your disappointment with the lead up to this date given the way the last one finished. A turned cheek and "yea just hit me up" doesn't exactly make a guy want to do a 'oh what a feeling' jump on the way home, though you are still a contender. You certainly don’t seem like you are going into the date heavily emotionally invested on having this one girl be your gf (given you have not had a stellar love life) which is good outlook to have. Hey girls are cold contacting you online, so that’s something to feel positive about. One thing I'll add, is when she told you she wasn’t sure about helping her friend, instead of saying 'I told her I understand and to let me know if she can make it.' I feel it would have been better to have gone with..'I told her I understand and to let me know if she can't make it....your invite was a definite, her friend was just a maybe scenario, so her agreed time with you should have taken precedence.
Author cuartz7o Posted March 4, 2011 Author Posted March 4, 2011 Thanks ascendotum, i appreciate the insight. I'm hoping she'll call but if she doesn't i won't sweat it. I am wondering if I'm supposed to "chase" her if she doesn't get back to me before letting her go. Like a text or call a few days later?
mooninite Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 I would just call her the evening of the day before. Just call to confirm and iron out the details like what time, give her the address of the place, if she needs a ride.
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