candacef Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 For the last 6 months my best guy friend and I have been hooking up. All of our friends and strangers comment how we appear in love. Every time we take 2 steps forward he takes 5 steps back. His only Girlfriend lasted for 5 years and they broke up 2 years ago. It really devastated him and he has not had a girlfriend since and he is super sexy and sweet. We went away for a long weekend together. The 2nd day, he was drunk and started crying and saying that he loved me, tthat he was scared, he was pulling back, but he was not there yet, he thought if we got together right now he would disappoint me, that he knew he would get there and he wanted me to be patient with him.. then he drops some bombshell that I am the most amazing person he knows, but he is not crazy attracted to me like he is with other girls- in a super lustful way. And after that madness, we wind up spending another two days together as if nothing happened like a real couple- handholding, sex etc. The mixed messages are all over the place for me, part of me thinks he genuinely loves me but is separating hooking up with super hot chicks with real love. Part of me thinks I should pull back and let him lead the entire thing and see what it is like to not have me trying to move anything forward. Part of me says RUN because these are some super crazy mixed messages and if he is not attracted to me he never will be.
D-Lish Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 The mixed messages are all over the place for me, part of me thinks he genuinely loves me but is separating hooking up with super hot chicks with real love. Part of me thinks I should pull back and let him lead the entire thing and see what it is like to not have me trying to move anything forward. Part of me says RUN because these are some super crazy mixed messages and if he is not attracted to me he never will be. I think pulling back is exactly what you need to do at this point. You deserve the whole package, and you deserve someone that is into you and only you. I wouldn't let him "lead" anything, that's giving him entirely too much power. Don't accept being second best. I think the more a person values and respects themselves, the less likely they are to accept a partner that isn't as invested as one needs them to be. The bottom line is that your guy is telling you that he's not as invested as you are- so you have to decide whether or not you're willing to accept that reality. You have two choices, you can stay, knowing that he's still interested in having sex with other women- or you can walk away. It's never easy to make this kind of choice, especially when you love someone- but you can never go wrong saying "no" to something that is less than what you deserve.
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