lcfc1993 Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 I'm 17, basically I loved my ex to bits (shes 17 also), we talked about having children and starting a family together even though we were only young. When we first started going out she was very insecure and has low self esteem. It wasn't a great relationship because of her problems, she was violent, aggressive, would flip over the tiniest things and would threaten to dump me if she didn't get her own way. We went out for 13 months, then randomly one day she dumps me over MSN. After asking for an explanation she blanked me and continued to speak to a male friend of hers. I really couldn't handle being dumped by the girl I loved, I just cried for days on end and even now, 3 weeks later I still feel like doing it, I loved this girl so much and I'd do anything for her. I always tried my best in our relationship and I asked her to go and get anger management to help herself and make our relationship better but she refused, saying she didn't need it. I really did so much for her, I went prom just for her. A few days before she dumped me, I wanted to go to a party, but would only go if she went, she says she wasn't going, so I didn't book a day off work and the day before the party she decides to go and then I couldn't go. In our whole 13 month relationship she always maintained she wouldn't drink because she'd had bad experiences with it but on this one night when she went to the party, she got absolutely drunk out of her head. And now on facebook, she puts pictures of herself up clubbing, but removes some ones where she is with her friends, but leaves up ones where she is with guys. Even in college she still looks at me and stares at me on occasions. She never texts me or anything though, although sometimes she will reply. Oh and after we broke up, I begged her to take me back, I sent her hundreds of messages through facebook and sent her loads of texts, but she just ignored them or sent back a "ok..." I don't know what it is, I don't 100% want her back, but I miss her so much and I really did give this girl my heart, something I told myself I wasn't going to do. I just gave it all to this girl and now she dumps me and thinks shes better than me. She has so many problems, but shes so beautiful and I thought she was perfect for me. Writing this just makes me kinda feel better as well. I'd love to know your opinions though. Cheers people.
Author lcfc1993 Posted March 4, 2011 Author Posted March 4, 2011 Oh and I texted her and called her after about 2 weeks of NC and she told me shes moved on and still cares for me, but doesn't care about me enough to have a relationship with me.
scott123 Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 She may be beautiful but..... "she was violent, aggressive, would flip over the tiniest things and would threaten to dump me if she didn't get her own way." why would you want to be with someone like that? there are lots of other beautiful girls out there who aren't like that. In the long run you'll always be scared to make a mistake and you don't want to live like that. My ex was the same way and there are a few other threads in this section about ex girlfriends who were self centered and needed to get their own way all of the time. Keep NC'ing, there are a lot of us here going through the same thing as you and it's good that you know you don't want her back, that's a good sign. Sounds like you just miss having someone to share things with which is obviously going to happen since you went out with her for 13 months, but someday soon when you're ready someone will fill that gap. Good luck there are lots of us here going through the same stuff man if you read around you'll see a lot of similarities.
timchambo Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 words cannot describe the pain I felt after my 7 year RL broke up. Im in my mid-upper 20s. Your 17. What I would give to go back to 17. Finish high school, move on to college where you will most likely go through this over all again. Chalk this one up as learning what not to look for in a girl.
Chi townD Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Dude. that girl is toxic. I know you won't agree, but thank your lucky stars that it did end. First, delete her from your FB friends. You don't need to see that crap. Stop texting, phones calls....all of it. Start living your life. I suppect that when she does see you, you look like a puppy that's been kicked one too many times. There's many, many more fish in the sea. Walk around with your head held high, talk to girls. Show her that life does go on even without her craziness. You're young. Enjoy life. Find someone to SHARE your life with. Not control it.
Author lcfc1993 Posted March 4, 2011 Author Posted March 4, 2011 Shes already off my FB friends. She told me last night she had moved on straight the way, which made me realise she most likely moved on while she was still with me. I think to myself why didn't she just let me change, but then I realise all the problems lie with her, she was the cause of them yet she will always, no matter what blame others for her problems, its always someone elses fault. I just feel like I wasn't worth her even trying to change and the thought of her with another guy (which will happen soon) just makes me feel like crap. And now I'm the one with the low self esteem and confidence problems, whereas she now thinks shes it and swans about everywhere like the Queen Bee. I think its because I've pretty much let her walk all over me for 13 months, but when I did take a stand against her she'd get violent and/or threaten to end our relationship.
Author lcfc1993 Posted March 5, 2011 Author Posted March 5, 2011 Would also like to add, its definitely over for good. She will never accept the blame for anything or take responsibilities for her actions, like today, because for the first time in ages we went on the phone last night (just to see how each other was doing), she blamed me that she was late into college. And the first thing she asked me was if I was taking another girl out on a date, and she also admitted knowing about stuff I'd been doing while we have been apart because she had been checking my facebook wall (I've got her deleted off it now) I still feel like she has feelings for me, but she just won't admit it. I was really nice to her today, but she would just be mean back, its like shes showing her feelings through her aggression, just like she used to be violent and she doesn't want to admit the truth. One minute shes being really nice to me, then she sneaks in a mean comment about me or about my personal life, she even insulted my girl friends, and made rude comments about them. But anyway, after texting me today she starting blaming me for everything that went wrong and she even blamed me for things such as her friends not contacting her for the last 8 months (even though they are complete bitches and go different colleges). But this time she wasn't going to push me around so I told her straight up some of her problems that had caused the issues in her life and advised her to get help to make her a better person. At this point she said "don't bother speaking to me anymore" and also "ok, if you say so, but I don't have any problems, your the problem". After that I replied that I thought she did have problems but that was it. She then proceeded to send me a text which read "Leave me alone, go away, if you text me again I'm going to have you done for harrassment" At this point I deleted her number and really the thought of having her back if just horrible. The thought of her with someone else is also quite bad, but its not as bad as it was a couple of days ago, so this has sort of given me a bit of closure and also made me realise I'm worth a million of her and I can find someone who treats me better. Whereas she will never find anyone who adored and loved her as much as I did and her problems will continue throughout her life, because she will never actually admit she has them.
tinaatinaa1 Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 Finish high school, move on to college where you will most likely go through this over all again. Chalk this one up as learning what not to look for in a girl. This is very good advice.
Author lcfc1993 Posted March 6, 2011 Author Posted March 6, 2011 cheers, well i think i'll just leave it at that because i actually feel like i'm moving on and feeling alot better about myself without her. this is a brilliant site btw.
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