depplover_1980 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Well I was going to hijack the lovely Tofu's thread but know better, naughty Depps, so started one of my own. Right I mentioned that I'd been to see my counsellor tonight, the first time in months (due to financial reasons) and I ended up discussing what had happened with my ex, plus the new great guy i'd been seeing. Anyway I broke down crying about my ex, all the emotion I'd successfully pushed away came flooding back - Tofu had mentioned the same. Another poster told me he starts his counselling this weekend to work out getting over his ex. Tonight I've put a stop to seeing the new guy and have decided to be alone again and continue strengthening myself and achieving personal goals, including starting a degree in counselling myself! Generally, counselling with the right person is a wonderful thing that should lead you to the right answers - it is all about being asked the right questions. I offended my friend Lemonade by suggesting her therapist was rubbish, as a decent one should help you reach a good place very quickly. I highly recommend it to anyone emotionally stuck, or anyone that generally wants to self-improve.
ShatteredReality Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 I've always been a huge fan of counselling. The last time I went, however, she told me I had the knowledge, that I needed to work on the application...so...I didn't go for very long. When I was younger, though, it was invaluable. For my H, it helped him a TON. So yes...in agreement...counselling is GREAT! One thing, it does tend to bring up a lot of emotions you may not have dealt with, so perhaps being single is the best option for you right now, but you shouldn't let it prevent you from beginning new relationships once you're ready. Those feelings may never go away entirely, but you should be able to learn to cope with them in a fashion that they don't engulf your entire world anymore.
Author depplover_1980 Posted March 4, 2011 Author Posted March 4, 2011 Hi there, I genuinely cannot see myself wanting a relationship for at least this year, I honestly think love is overrated. I wouldn't say i'm engulfed in feelings for my ex, today was only the second time I have cried, but then I've been off sick for 2 weeks so maybe I needed a good release in general. I was an alcoholic and have been sober for nearly 9 months, so being alone is good for now. I have been in counselling for a decade btw, I am the most self aware person I have ever met (though I had to look into the mirror to do it ). I still go because I see it as going through my checklist; like you I have the tools, but I enjoy sitting there and going through my to-do list. Glad it has helped you and your husband too.
Gossamer Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 Grrl, you're all about being authentic on these forums and sharing with us both your inner and outer lives. I so so so and again *so* appreciate your generosity and strength of spirit in sharing who you are. I too am in therapy, and it definitely helps with a lot of the general personal development stuff. But where we really see the most growth is in practice in our personal lives, our relationships with others, and that includes the give-and-take of kindness, respect, advice and support on LS. I used to believe that a therapist, like a love interest, could provide a lot of my therapy/personal development needs. But like any healthy individual growth process, we need all kinds of diverse mutual support systems, including the online ones, like this, and other sources of caring, reliable support. I'm glad that you took action on being responsible for your own needs, and invested in your vision of your future. It sounds very powerful also that you felt a need for time to take care of yourself as a priority. Your investment in gaining more insight is exciting. Especially as you're gonna go for it as a counselor. I'm really excited for you and your gift to yourself...to invest in your education to do something you are both naturally gifted with, as well as passionate about. COOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!! I'm so proud of you and you have many fans here if you're ever in doubt of your insight/intuition/!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry for the spastic post, btw...just really jazzed for your investments in yourself. It's exciting to hear how we individually find our way... /Goss Well I was going to hijack the lovely Tofu's thread but know better, naughty Depps, so started one of my own. Right I mentioned that I'd been to see my counsellor tonight, the first time in months (due to financial reasons) and I ended up discussing what had happened with my ex, plus the new great guy i'd been seeing. Anyway I broke down crying about my ex, all the emotion I'd successfully pushed away came flooding back - Tofu had mentioned the same. Another poster told me he starts his counselling this weekend to work out getting over his ex. Tonight I've put a stop to seeing the new guy and have decided to be alone again and continue strengthening myself and achieving personal goals, including starting a degree in counselling myself! Generally, counselling with the right person is a wonderful thing that should lead you to the right answers - it is all about being asked the right questions. I offended my friend Lemonade by suggesting her therapist was rubbish, as a decent one should help you reach a good place very quickly. I highly recommend it to anyone emotionally stuck, or anyone that generally wants to self-improve.
D78 Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 ...I was an alcoholic and have been sober for nearly 9 months, so being alone is good for now. Congrats on being sober for 9 months! That's awesome.
ShatteredReality Posted March 4, 2011 Posted March 4, 2011 LOL Well see, LS is my therapy...even if I don't post every little thing, there's plenty to look at and read up on, so that's nice. Plenty to remind me of my To Do's. Keep up the good work! I don't think there's ever a time limit on therapy...but my counselor told me I could just come in for annual "check ups" LOL....now, I found group meetings helped a lot with weight loss, which is basically group counselling like AA meetings....I think it's the accountability....but anyhow, yes, definitely valuable!
Author depplover_1980 Posted March 4, 2011 Author Posted March 4, 2011 Gossamer, your posts always make me smile. They are full of joy and enthusiasm and you make me feel very special indeed! I take a tiny bow as I honestly believe everyone has the potential to be fantastic, so I don't see myself as being better than anybody. I do however want to be an inspiration to others, prove that life can go on after numerous personal disasters and that as humans we can all transcend to something greater. Thanks D78, sobriety was the greatest gift I could have given myself - I punished myself for far too long. Shatteredreality, I too have found Loveshack to be greatly rewarding and in the process of helping others, it has helped me heal from my own break up to some degree.
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