guitarguy09 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 I came across this online hope it might help: http://hubpages.com/hub/Help_Im_in_a_Relationship_and_Falling_for_Someone_Else most of the comments come from girls in LTR's facing the dilemma and it sort of gets you into their minds before they actually dump you.
Author guitarguy09 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 "Oh my goodness me! I thought I was the only one that experienced something like this!!! Am so glad that I found this page. Well I've been with my boyfriend for about 10months, & we got together shortly after I ended a previous relationship. Though I don't think that he's a rebound, I feel like I rushed into the relationship. I didn't give myself enough time to get to know him before we jumped into the relationship. Although we've known each other for 8 years now, we only became closer about a year ago. ): I think I love him. But recently I've got to know this guy who lives really near me. I've thought that he was attractive since a while back, even before I met my boyfriend but I thought nothing about it. But after getting to know him, I find myself enchanted by him. I cannot stop thinking about him, & I've dreamt about him for a couple of nights consecutively. I find myself waiting for him to text me, & I sulk when I receive a text, & its not from him. It even happened when the text was from my boyfriend. I notice him a lot because he stays so near to me. I observe everything about him, & I always wish to "bump" into him when I go out, or when I come home. I just don't know what to do because he's taking up so much of my mind. There's no space for anything else & all I can think of is him. I have no idea why I feel like this. I'm really happy with my boyfriend although we do have small problems. There's no reason for me to break up with him cause I really think I do love him. But why is this guy taking up so much of my mind? I find myself thinking about him unknowingly & its starting to scare me. ): " dont these people realize that no matter who you are with, he temptation wont go away and you will always end up "falling" for someone else?
JustEmptyInside Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Interesting read, but am I the only one who finds some of the comments a little disturbing? I only made it about halfway through before I got a knot in my stomach. As a (believed to be) victim of a GIGS or similar situation, I still can't wrap my head around how feelings can change focus that easily. In my case it only took a few weeks for her to throw away a 6 year relationship like it was nothing. I suppose I'd expect this thought process to be justifiable to ones self in your teen years, but people still do this crap into their 30's and beyond... To fiancés even! Just don't understand how so many women do this without trying to talk/work it out with their LTR partners. 1
GreenPolicy Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Tyler Perry's 80/20 rule: at best you can get 80 percent of what you need from your partner. Some people get hung up on that missing 20 percent and leave relationships because of it. 1
D78 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 ...Just don't understand how so many women do this without trying to talk/work it out with their LTR partners. I think men do it, too. Just sayin...
JustEmptyInside Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Acknowledged D78 I agree that men are probably just as guilty - didn't mean for it to come across that way. Guess I an still a little bitter
bslchump Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Yeah those comments are 95% BS. They almost always start with "so I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and i love them, but I noticed this other guy/girl...". That's totally screwy if you ask me. People in genuine love don't "fall for" other people. People who are comfortable with their bf/gf but the spark has faded, do. People say they love their current bf/gf as a cop-out to make them not seem heartless for stringing along someone until some better opportunity comes up.
timchambo Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 (edited) I keep trying to put myself in the mind of my ex. Although there is one outside contributing factor that I am sure made this easier (her job), but I will not give her any excuses...she knew I supported her job to an extent. The extent being when the job rips the relationship apart because of extreme travel 1/2 a year at a time. this is the way I see it. I think when people are in a relationship for so long you get comfortable and that spark is gone. I don't think it is realistic to expect that spark to last forever, but until you've been through a couple you realize that. I found passion can be created, you just have to put in some effort. It would be interesting to hear the outcome of what these girls/guys are feeling once the new relationship settles in. They all seem so eager to throw away their "great" guy/girl to try out the new RL. Your looking for your life partner, some of those responses seem so shallow. I thought I had found mine, but apparently my efforts were not enough for her. I laugh at times now because of how foolish she was to sabotage what we had. She will spend a long time trying to build what we had, only to find out the hard way. Unfortunately my heart had to be involved in this too. Time to take the opportunity to reinvent myself. No more ball n chain.. To a brighter 2011 guys. Edited March 4, 2011 by timchambo 1
brokendreamz Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 A brighter 2011 - LET'S FRICKIN HOPE SO MY FRIEND!! This too shall pass
depplover_1980 Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 Most of the time this happens because people rush into exciting relationships without getting to know each other slowly, thus missing incompatibility signs. Those getting carried away during the honeymoon phase, people making all sorts of emotional promises they can't keep once the initial infatuation wears off. Sad but true.
Thatguyintx Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 Most of the time this happens because people rush into exciting relationships without getting to know each other slowly, thus missing incompatibility signs. Those getting carried away during the honeymoon phase, people making all sorts of emotional promises they can't keep once the initial infatuation wears off. Sad but true. Wow! Occasionally a post really hits me between the eyes. This reply hit with pinpoint accuracy. Moving too fast in that butterflies-in-the-stomach mode covered for HUGE incompatibilities. Two years invested, finally had to face the differences. Very painful! Depp, I wish I had read this two years ago. Could have saved the ex and me a lot of pain.
depplover_1980 Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 Wow! Occasionally a post really hits me between the eyes. This reply hit with pinpoint accuracy. Moving too fast in that butterflies-in-the-stomach mode covered for HUGE incompatibilities. Two years invested, finally had to face the differences. Very painful! Depp, I wish I had read this two years ago. Could have saved the ex and me a lot of pain. It's ok, glad to help. The average relationship lasts 2 years WHICH says it all really!!
JustEmptyInside Posted March 7, 2011 Posted March 7, 2011 Depp - that really does make sense about rushing in and fooling yourself. In my case we made it 6 years before she left for greener pastures. In all the time i've spent trying to self reflect on my role in the demise of our relationship, I look at my ex's past and think that maybe some people are just destined to forever be chasing that proverbial "spark." Maybe this is one of the factors in people who seem to just bounce around from one relationship to the next. One thing that I've learned is that an LTR that is based in true love has a different feel than one that is still in the sparking stage (i.e. The "Let's go have sex in the back seat right now cause I can't keep my hands off of you" stage). I often wonder if my ex just never liked the feeling of a solid loving relationship once the spark was gone.
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