enough_allready Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 (edited) The GF and I dated for 6 yrs most of it pretty good except for the last year we had 3 breakups. The 1st was because i was doing things that were not good for a relationship so I changed. 2nd time she met a guy through work and broke up with me to date him. Before the break up I really think she cheated on me but has never admitted to it. Why I say she did this is because her vagina was always tight in the 5 yrs we dated and right before the break up it was not tight. So time goes by she contacts me and tells me how much she is thinking about me and wants to see me again. So we get back together. Everything seems to be going great except 1 issue the other guy she still says she talks to him like once a week for work. OK as long as it is just work I'm ok with that. We did everything together alot of outdoor activities and if you saw us at a restaurant you would think we just started dating by sitting next to each other instead of across, arms around each other and kissing all the time. In January she was using my computer and left her email open and I saw that she sent the other guy and just him a spoof music video about girls having anal sex. WTF was my first reaction! We get into a small fight and i find out a few things. I find out that is why she would have said no to me during christmas if i asked her to marry me because she was still thinking of him. Now she is having a good time with and she says the contact has stopped between her and the other guy and when she does contact him it is just business only. She then tells me that she ready to marry me and spend the rest of her life with me. A few weeks ago we are just being lazy hanging out and she is working on the computer and pulls out her paper w/ all her passwords. I saw her cell phone password and decided to do some snooping (yeah I know it was wrong but i wanted to be sure before i popped the question). I look back at old records from when we got back together for the 3rd time. Remind you when we got back together she said she has only been talking to him once a week for work well that's not what the records showed. She was calling him every morning after talking to me until December when the calls and texts were not as frequent. The next 2 weeks when talking to her whenever she got bitchy to me I wrote down the time and date and sure enough that is when she was talking and texting him. I call her out on it and she right away breaks up with me and says we are not meant to be, why waste your time i don't want to marry you but you're my best friend. She has this flip flop personality and was raised a sheltered spoiled life. My question is pretty much there is no doubt she was hooking up with the other guy right? end rant, felt good to get this out. I just feel lost right now we were best friends and now i want nothing to do with her and she wants nothing to do with me. Edited March 3, 2011 by enough_allready
Author enough_allready Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 would like some advice help etc. thank you
BrokenFool Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 I feel ya man I went through the exact same thing, let me recap got with my ex LDR , straight from day one we would be on the phone talking late at night she would get another call coming through drop my call and then return saying it was her sister or friend, as the relationship progressed she would disappear for a night then say she had taken night nurse and it had knocked her out thats why she couldnt text me , hid pictures on her camera from me, got a voicemail whilst with me pretended it was a friend and then couldnt sleep and looked stressed, when i said whats up she flipped saying i dont wanna be with someone who thinks im a slag after 15 months i found out she had been talking behind my back with her ex boyfriend , and when i say talking im not meaning like friends ( which is what she told me) 17 odd calls a day, 40 messages a day, picture messages , whilst she had told me i only spoke to him to boast how nice you are to me and how there are good men in the world unlike him ( despite dumping me every 6 weeks) i asked her to stop speaking with him , caught her doing it again and again then she did reverse psychology and said i had betrayed her trust by looking at her phone bills and she wouldnt ignore him because he hadnt done anythng to her all i will say is walk away honestly you deserve better you cant live your life or marry someone always looking over your shoulder checking her movements my ex said to a friend recently - he would only be happy if we were married and i was living with him so he could check my phone bills ( duh if you werent dumping me every 6 weeks , no strange behaviour and wasnt doing anything wrong with your ex i wouldnt need to check your phone bill)
depplover_1980 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Broken, I think it would be good for you to get involved like this more and give others advice, it will reinforce your own situation.
Author enough_allready Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 deep how about my situation. am i right about these things?
Author enough_allready Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 Is it really not meant to be? i thought we proved it was meant to be by getting back together after the 2nd break up which was real bad. in someway i want to work out because we were such a good fit. her Father told me to give her time to come around I'm thinking now she will never come around and never realize what she did was wrong.
BrokenFool Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 depp - if i can help one person save themselves from pain it will have been worthwhile give her time to figure out her own feelings but dont allow her back in on a whim set some boundaries, you need to talk about your concerns and she has to act in a way to alieviate your concerns if your relationship is to get stronger i used to think a good sex life is indicative of a good relationship - i learnt for some people having sex with all and sundry means nothing i thought treating somebody nice buying them flowers chocolates running the bath for them massaging their back/feet makes you a good other half - even this isnt enough for some people try your best and when your best isnt good enough for someone , despite them not trying at all **** them - they dont deserve you and remember god hasnt taken them away from YOU, he has taken YOU away from them because they dont deserve you you can hide everything and anything from people but god is all knowing all seeing, he can see even your intentions in your heart so when something like this happens always think god has something better planned for you
Author enough_allready Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 Wow brokenFool, you sound like you have been watching me! Your last part really speaks to me about god. Are you god? are you sending me a message? Sex was not important to us but it was great when we did have sex. The best friends part is what was the most important but now I doubt she was my friend for the lies she has told me. she says she never cheated on me but she has certainly lied to me. She received flowers from me every week and received many many back and foot massages. I do know deep down she has never loved someone nearly as much as she loved me and I know for sure I have never loved anyone as much as her. We are not speaking to each other at all right now. Should I wait for her to contact me? Should I contact her? How long do I wait until I contact her?
Author enough_allready Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 Example of her flip flop: We are heading up to Vermont skiing for the weekend I pick up 2 chicken cutlet sandwich and she love the sandwich. The next weekend we go up to Vermont again and I get the same sandwich and she starts yelling at me "I can't eat this you know after 5 yrs i can't eat fried food!" "it's bad for my heartburn!". I said yeah but you loved it last weekend. her response was "i didn't know what I was eating!" She flip flopped like this on everything!
BrokenFool Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 enough_already SNAP we are on a romantic cruise down a lake on a boat, lovely weather, ducks in the water, i am feeling a bit peckish so ask im going to the shop on the boat do you want anything like chocolate/crisps ? no thanks she says i get a kit kat and because im hungry eat it - next minute she says did you save me any chocolate ? no i says you didnt want any face on not talking to me for the rest of the boat ride let me ask you a question - say it takes you a year to get over her or 2 years or even say 3 max what is worse the 3 years pain which will get easier as time goes by or marry her and have a lifetime of pain which will get worse ?? let me give you another example to think about it was her birthday and i was dumped , so i begged and pleaded to see her for her birthday , she agreed to give me 30 mins, so on my birthday (which is a day before hers) i drove the 350 miles, checked into a hotel put up banners and balloons , had got her a cake shaped like a designer handbag, a designer handbag and purse, perfume, a REAL rose with her name and happy 30th birthday laser engraved on it and had special wrapping paper made with our pictures on it - did she appreciate it ? NO , saw me for 30 mins had sex with me and went on her merry way compare that with i was going out with a girl and once whilst in a supermarket i noticed ferrero roche buy one get one free so i got it, gave her one, she kept the box to keep her jewellery in just because it was something I HAD GOT FOR HER if she doesnt appreciate you and value you now, theirs a CHANCE she may do after some solid NC and you not making it easy for her to come back into your life and theirs a bigger chance she may never value you or love you the way you deserve to be loved think very carefully my friend and ask god for a sign i promise you this on my heart, whilst driving up to see her one day on a dark motorway with limited traffic i said out loud in my car " please god if this person is playing with my feelings and doesnt love me please show me a sign" i got to my destination to see her., we cuddled we had sex, she was showing me a video clip on her phone of a stray cat she had taken in and next minute i could hear her voice in conversation with somebody, she snatched the phone away, i picked it up and played the video clip again and whilst filming the cat with one phone she was on the phone to her ex boyfriend on another phone talking about how i had found out about them staying in touch and was threatening to tell his girlfriend and he better have his story ready that was god giving me a sign and like a idiot i ignored what i had seen and fell for the tears and it was a mistake etc and gave her a chance only to be dumped again a few weeks later for not being able to get over it fast enough for her liking value yourself
Author enough_allready Posted March 3, 2011 Author Posted March 3, 2011 I get mixed feelings on the sign. maybe seeing the email she sent the other guy was a sign. then again i ask god to show me a sign if it will work out and the signs point to yes it will work out. She just has to realize what she had and may have lost. A lot of damage has happened between this break up and last one I don't think it will work out.
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